


Someone Will Love You, But Someone Isn't Me

by Breakingthetide



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M, I Will Go Down With This Ship, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-03
Updated: 2017-11-04
Packaged: 2018-11-22 16:50:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 26
Words: 70,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11384343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Breakingthetide/pseuds/Breakingthetide
Summary: “I am taking this in, slowly, taking it into my body.This grief. How slow the body is to realizeyou are never coming back.”-Donna Masini-Skye thought she and Ward would last forever. That nothing could tear their marriage apart. Until the fall of Shield, until he chose the wrong side.Now they must deal with the pain of being apart and the knowledge that not even love can save everything.





	1. If You Don't Love Me Anymore, Lie

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure how long this is going to be, but I'm excited for it already. 
> 
> Please leave comments if you can, I love them.
> 
> Thank you for reading, enjoy!

_''No matter what happens I need you to remember that I love you''. ''Ward what's-'' ''There's no time to explain. You need to get somewhere safe alright? Don't move until I come find you''._

_That should have been her first red flag, the panic in her husband's tone he never panics. Always calm and collected even with a gun to his head or a bomb in his hands. She's seen it firsthand how amazing he is under pressure, when they first met Skye was convinced he had no emotions at all, that nothing phased him. That of course wasn't true, but sometimes he still surprises her._

_She's standing in the middle of the kitchen in the house they bought together, nothing special just an upstairs and downstairs with a small living room, no dining room. She's barefoot wearing one of his shirts, the phone clutched tightly in her hand. ''Grant what's going on?'' She hears him take a deep breath, he pauses. ''I'm going to give you a set of coordinates and I need you to''- Skye never does get to hear the rest of what he said._

_Because their front door is suddenly kicked in and the small house is suddenly overwhelmed by men in tactical gear. Skye drops the phone moves to get the ICER hidden under the kitchen table, Fitz would be proud, when she's grabbed from behind and the rest of the world fades into nothing. The hours that follow would be the worst, she never would have suspected the events that are about to take place._

_That her husband the man she's tied herself to in every way imaginable, loved with everything she has, is a liar._

_Hail Hydra._

 

 

*

　

''Skye you really must eat something''. ''Not hungry''. ''You've been training for hours, you need to stop and refuel''. Skye glances over to Simmons, the other woman is wearing a frown, also holding out a bottle of water to her. There's such pity in her expression that Skye snatches the bottle and watches as Simmons begins to prepare a sandwich. ''How's Fitz this morning?'' Leo is a sensitive subject, for everyone on the base not just Simmons.

　

Who tenses but continues with her task. ''Better. His speech is improving''. ''Good, that's really good''. This familiar wave of guilt settles over Skye and Simmons gives her a knowing look but says nothing. Skye knows it isn't healthy to blame everything that happened with Ward soley on herself, obviously she couldn't control what he did. She isn't responsible for the lives he took or what he did to Fitz and Simmons.

　

He was their friend long before they ever got together, Skye had no influence on Ward's choices good or bad. But she can't help but feel like it's her fault. She was his wife if anyone knew anything about who he really was it should have been her. She should have expected something seen something, the wolf behind all the sheep clothing. But she didn't. Ward was too good, so flawless in his cover all this time, if he didn't want her seeing who he really was she wouldn't.

　

And that hurts. That someone who dug himself so deep down inside her, worked his way into her chest with soft words and a warm smile, could hurt her so much. Lie about who and what he was so easily like it meant nothing like she meant nothing, all their history their friends gone. Just like that in the blink of an eye. Because of him because of Hydra because he chose to follow a mad man instead of doing the right thing.

　

Instead of choosing Shield, the only home either of them had ever known. But Skye supposes she can't say that about Ward anymore, Shield was just a cover nothing more. When she was eighteen Shield recruited her for her hacking skills and she was sent to the Triskelion to work in the IT department. For six years she Simmons, Ward and Fitz all became a tight knit group. Always doing things together, went out for drinks, hung out at each other's apartments.

　

Ward was a Specialist so when he wasn't on missions saving the world or getting shot at one could find him wherever Skye or the two scientists were. Sometimes Agent May or Coulson would come down and have dinner with them or go out for a drink, but otherwise it was just the four of them against the world. Skye had never felt more at home than she did at Shield, it was her entire life.

　

She never thought it would all come tumbling down.

　

That Hydra would come out of the shadows hiding in Shield in plain sight, that the people she considered friends would become her enemy. That her husband the only man she's ever loved would be one of them, betraying those closest to him hurting everyone in his path. Some days she still can't believe it all came down to this. A secret underground bunker in the middle of nowhere fighting for her life day and night.

　

The threat of Hydra looming over their heads, worrying in her bed late at night if this will be the day Grant finds her. She hasn't seen him in months, not since that awful showdown between the two where he didn't pick her. Their team their family. When he lowered Fitz and Simmons into the ocean, the day their lives would never be the same. Much to her and Coulson's dismay Ward was never caught, never put in Shield custody.

　

He escaped with John Garrett, the Clairvoyant, the man everyone thought was a white coat ready to die for Shield at a moment's notice. But they all thought the same about Ward too. So now they fight the good fight in the dark, Hydra waiting around the corner at every turn. Ward never did prepare her for combat, he did teach her how to defend herself when she asked, but it was nothing compared to the training May has her doing these days.

　

Ever since the fall of Shield, Coulson and May have become an essential part in Skye's life, along with Fitz and Simmons. They are a team now with Coulson as the Director, May his right hand. She's actually going out on missions now along with Bobbi Morse and Lance Hunter, Trip and Mack as well. New additions to Shield but she loves them, they're part of the family too. Skye would fight to death to protect any of them.

　

But she can't deny there's something someone missing, and there probably always will be. No one could ever replace Ward as a member of their team, and definitely not as her husband. It's been a few months and she knows everyone is wondering when she's going to move on, find someone else. But she can't. The thought of being with anyone else besides Ward makes her nauseous. And she hates herself for it.

　

She should hate him and oh how she does, but just because he hurt her does not mean her love for him just vanished into thin air. She's still in love with him, a small tiny part is sitll waiting for him to come home to her. Skye knows that's not possible and would never tell anyone that, but sometimes late at night she'll stare up at the ceiling and wish she could see him again. That he'd just walk through her bedroom door and tell her it was all joke.

　

That he was a triple agent all this time, that his mission is finally over and he's come back to her. Alas, that will never happen. She'll always receive those sympathetic glances and whispers, not everyone trusts her here on account of being Grant Ward's wife. It's expected apparently that if he is a traitor she would know some of his secrets. He lied to everyone else just like he lied to her. Their story had such a happy beginning, but such a tragic end.

　

''Skye are you alright?'' Bobbi asks when she comes into the kitchen and sees the other woman staring off into space. ''Yeah I'm good''. Skye takes the sandwich from Jemma, offers a wink and rushes out of the kitchen. ''She's been training since four this morning''. ''Trying to get the Hydra husband out of her head''. Lance comments earing a hit to the ribs from his ex-wife. ''You know I'm right Bob''.

　

Simmons and Morse both glance at each other, yes yes he is.

　

Later that night when everyone is asleep Skye is hunched over her laptop the room pitch black, energy drink resting on the floor. Grant always told her how bad they were but she never listened. She can hear his slightly irritated voice even now, the small shake of his head when she cracked open another. Skye takes a sip the sharp tang flavor filling her teeth as she checks security around the base. All secure.

　

Next is something she does that no one knows about, an old email address she hardly ever uses anymore. It was one she's had since her days away from the orphanage and only Ward knows about it. She checks it still every night, hoping for something? That he's contact her? Why? It's not like he's going to get on his knees and beg for forgiveness, she doesn't want him to. She hates him she hates him and everything he's put her and their friends through.

　

God she misses him though. His laugh the way he says her name, how everything was safe and warm when she was in his arms. When she came home after a long day and he'd be there waiting for her a smile on his face, ready to hear about her day like it was the most interesting story. The feel of his hands on her skin, the cool silver of his wedding band as he cupped her face and kissed her.

　

The inbox is empty, not that she's surprised. She misses their house, their bed. It's still hard to sleep without him, the bed here is too cold too empty. Much like herself these days. She trains all day works her ass off, ready for the next threat that's bound to come. This is her life now. If you would have told her a year ago she'd be a field agent, that she would be without her husband lonely and sad, Skye would have laughed.

　

She didn't just lose her job or her life during the Hydra reveal. Skye lost Ward, her best friend. Her other half, the person she always thought would be there right next to her through thick and thin. The one man who up until that point had not left her, kept every promise he'd ever made her. Half of her does not think everything with Grant was a lie. No way he could have faked loving her for all that time, it had to of been genuine.

　

He's good but he's not that good, pretending to be in love with her? Not even Natasha Romanoff could stay in deep cover for that long and keep every emotion in check, no Skye believes Ward slipped with her. She knows he wasn't supposed to fall in love, she wasn't part of his mission. He did often say she was an unknown variable in his life, never saw her coming. They went through too much together too many horrors for him to feel nothing for her.

　

A year ago Skye would have sworn to everyone and everything under the sun that Grant Ward was a loyal Shield agent and husband, the best of the best. No way he could hurt her or Fitzsimmons, no way could he betray everyone he cares about for reasons she does not understand, and yes a small part of her wants to understand.

　

But putting her anger aside there had to be some other reason why he did what he did and she just can't see it. Right now she doesn't want to, Skye has no desire to dig into her husband's past whatever it might be and see if there's something more to his story. And if that makes her selfish and the worst person, then fine. There's still too much pain so much hate and anger inside for her to be reasonable about this.

　

Besides even if some miracle happened and Coulson forgave him, he was let back into the fold, Skye doesn't think anyone would accept Ward again. She wouldn't, Fitz and Simmons never would, May as well. There's nothing at Shield for Grant anymore, not even Skye.

　

These are the thoughts that keep her awake and crying into a pillow. She hates Ward how can she not? But she also loves him and wants to find out if there's more to this than meets the eye, she can't do that right now though. So she's waiting for the inevitable, his return to her life. It's bound to happen. There's too much history between the two, she doesn't think fate would allow them to be seperated for the rest of their lives.

　

The last time she saw Ward is not a pleasant a memory. It haunts her at night, the memory of his face as she cried in front of him. How broken he looked, losing everything he ever wanted all because of John Garrett. Whom Grant followed anyway even after she begged him to stay. Skye never thought Ward was capable of leaving her, they'd had rough patches in their marriage sure but he never walked out on her and didn't come back.

　

No way would Grant ever leave her behind. But he did, and there is nothing either of them can do to change it.

 


	2. I'd Take It All Back Just to Have You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ward reflects on his life now without Skye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will warn that the coming chapters are basically nothing but angst and pain.
> 
> In fact this entire story is pretty much just that. 
> 
> Enjoy!

 

_''I am not a good man Skye''. ''Yes you are''._

　

She was wrong, which is ironic because Skye is the only reason he began believing he was good in the first place. That he wasn't just black kevlar and bullets, a spy with no true loyalties to rest with other than Garrett, and her if we're being honest. That's all gone now. His life didn't start with his family no that's just a dark blur of his past Grant likes to block out whenever the memories resurface.

　

If you asked him several years ago he'd of said his life started with John Garrett walked into that Juvenile Detention center and gave him a second chance. But now, now Ward can't say the same. All this time it's been nothing but targets and guns, mission after mission afterwards spent in lonely cold hotel rooms or an apartment he had no ties to. It wasn't much of a life to lead, he was alone and could feel it deep in his bones.

　

Then she came. With her long brown hair and a smile that could bring him to his knees. Skye wasn't supposed to be a permanent thing. Ward only had one objective going into the Triskelion when he was eighteen, blend in become the picture perfect Shield agent. For years he was, got a reputation for a big bad Specialist who didn't play well with others. Went in got the job done and got out usually without a hitch.

　

Soon they were saying he'd been the best since Natasha Romanoff, he was the best spy they'd ever had. There was just something about him apparently that he was able to mold and shape himself into someone else in less than a second. Change his skin and become whoever they needed him to be. Sometimes Grant can't actually remember who he really is, is he just a cluster of all the covers he's been?

　

Who is Grant Ward really? Not a Shield agent, not the scared kid John rescued. For four years he was content to be Skye's husband, the man she thought he was. And maybe he fooled himself into thinking it was all going to work out, that he'd save John and manage to keep his cover intact. Skye Fitz and Simmons would never have to find out no one had to get hurt. But then Hydra revealed itself and the world fell apart.

　

And Grant knew he'd never be able to come back from it, that once Skye found out she would hate him just like everyone else. That's exactly what happened. He lost his wife his best friend, the love of his life the mother of his unborn children. He was an idiot to think she would ever stay with him, the last time he saw her she was looking at him like he was a complete stranger. Which he can't blame her for, she had no clue about any of this.

　

That was months ago and he hasn't stopped missing her, it's hard to sleep even harder to go on without her. For the last six years she has been a constant in his life, that was never meant to happen. He wasn't supposed to get attached to her or Fitz and Simmons. But he did and now he's paying for it. Ward secretly longs for the easy days when he went to get a drink with the three of them during the rare moments he wasn't on a mission.

　

Simpler times when he could trick himself into believing it was all going to be alright, that his life would last. That Fitzsimmons and Skye would always look at him as a friend, someone they trusted to protect them. They don't look at him like that anymore. And he will never have Skye back in his arms. It's funny because he thought she hated him when they first met, that night is one of his favorites.

　

He misses her every time he wakes, if he knew how dire the consequences were of saving John, would he have done it? Or would he of told Coulson or Hill about everything if he knew how all of this was going to play out? Honestly, he has no idea. Ward owes John everything he saved him from a hell, but Skye, Skye is the only reason any kind of light began trickling into his life. She was the first and only person to love him, he can't just ignore that.

　

But he's here because of John, he'd still be rotting away in prison if it wasn't for him. It's a hard line to draw.

　

''You still sour over that girl son? Haven't I told you there's more out there?'' Garrett claps him hard on the back, comes to face him. It's been months since the fall of Shield and they aren't any closer to finding a cure to save him than they were when this all started. If Hydra revealed itself after Garrett put a time clock on Ward to find out about Coulson, he could have done it. But that's not what happened and Grant can see his mentor's strength failing day by day.

　

Currently they're laying low in a safe house in Germany, Garrett's health hanginig over their heads like a knife. Sometimes the fear of losing him is so strong it's hard for Grant to catch his breath. ''Yeah you're right''. Ward tells him, the subject of Skye a sore one for more than one reason. See Grant never told John about her, the man had no idea they were married for four years, let alone had been friends for six.

　

She is the only thing Ward had every disobeyed John over. And he paid for it, multiple times. He still is actually. ''I'm always right. Kebo any luck over there?'' The two men look over where Ward's long time and only true friend is bent over the hood of an armored vehicle. ''If you would stop asking me every five minutes maybe I could actually get some work done and have an answer for you''. John rolls his eyes and mutters about being a smart ass.

　

''Does Raina have anything new?'' Ward asks Garrett who shakes his head, hand ghosting over his side. ''Flowers will find a way and if she doesn't you'll put her down for me. You know how it works''. ''Of course sir''. Kebo sends a glare Grant's way, it's ignored. A Hydra agent pulls him away leaving Kebo and Ward alone. ''Stop making that face at me''. Grant tells the other man as he walks over to him. ''I'm not making a face''. ''Yes you are''.

　

Kebo sighs and wipes the sweat from his brow, ''you okay boss?'' ''I'm fine''. Is Ward's automatic reply even though they both know he is anything but. ''I can create a distraction while you slip out. Go and find her''. Ward grinds his teeth, finding Skye is not an option it will never be again. ''Skye detests me, she thinks I'm a monster''. If his last encounter with his wife was any idication, she hates him now just like everyone else.

　

''Are you? Is that your true nature? Or is that what Garrett made you to be?'' There's a long pause as Ward looks over to his friend. ''I don't know''. And he really doesn't. Who is he without John? Did he make him this way or is Grant just the product of an abusive household and bad mistakes? Thoughts like these are spinning through his head when Kebo claps him on the shoulder, Ward doesn't cringe when it's Kebo who does it.

　

He didn't mind when it was Fitz either, or Skye for that matter but her touches were different than he'd ever experienced. Touch for him was a sore subject one he does not like to dwell on, but with Skye she came in with her soft hands and he misses that every day. The way she'd caress his face when she first woke, small innocent touches like brushing his shoulder or his back when he walked by her.

　

Skye changed everything, the way he viewed love in general. How one person can crawl inside you and become everything you've ever wanted. He never believed in much until her, love was not something he wanted. But Skye kissed him and it all just vanished. He was a goner, forever hers and that's never going to change. She hates him but he loves her, he's always been in love with her.

　

Grant didn't have any intention of hurting her or anyone else, the plan was to find out how Coulson survived, slip the information to John and then continue on with the rest of his life. Sure he knew Shield would fall eventually, there would be casualties, people would die, people would suffer. He just didn't expect one of them to be himself. When it was all over he and Skye would go somewhere safe and distant, away from the war to follow.

　

If Shield rose again (and it had) she'd want to go back and he would go with her, be done with Hydra. It was always a means to an end anyway, and John wouldn't need him as much anymore. But obviously his plan didn't run smoothly and here he is. Alone with just the memory of Skye because she will never love him again. ''You have time to figure it all out''. Is the only thing Kebo offers before going back to fix the vehicle he'd been working on for hours.

　

Ward stands there for a moment waiting for orders, thinking of Skye always Skye. Who is he without her?

　

And better yet, who is without John Garrett? There's ice fear racing down his spine at the thought. That is something he never wants to find out.

　


	3. Ever Wonder About What He's Doing, How It All Turned to Lies?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Skye continues to struggle living without Ward, and Kebo pays a visit.

 

It's the memories that are the worst. The kind that hit out of nowhere while she's eating breakfast, training, or on a mission. Sometimes she remembers Ward sitting at their kitchen table drinking coffe in the morning or working out in the garage from a homemade gym. Others it's his voice over the spray of bullets where a mission went wrong, his calm but demanding tone that she find cover and get out safely.

　

Other times it's when Hunter says something stupid and Skye finds herself automatically turning to catch Ward's response, he'll give her _the look_ which will cause her own eyes to roll in agreement. It's hard to move on from someone who you love so deeply and then they stab you in the back, hurt you so deeply. Nearly impossible. Skye never expected it, never saw the blow Ward was going to deliver until it was too late.

　

For Skye being in and out of fosters homes as child she never had a real one to begin with, until she found Shield. And then somehow Ward became her home too with his warm smile, that's all broken and gone now, he played a part in it. She spent six years with the man. That's six birthdays six christmases, all of which Ward was never particularly fond of. But with Skye he grew to love them only because of the smile he recieved when he gave her something.

　

Skye misses the comfort and security Grant always provided, with him she always felt safe no matter what. She's cold here and constantly watching her back at every turn, also something she never saw coming. When it all fell down Skye expected Ward to be with her, stand at her side as they watched Shield burn. Pick up the pieces together as a team, support each other and their friends.

　

Most days when she turns a corner she's expecting Ward to be there his eyes lighting up when he sees her as they always did. Or when she goes into the training room he'll be there at the punching bag, in the armory cleaning all the weapons, taking stock of everything. In the early morning meetings with Coulson to hand her coffee and then stand there all stoic like with his arms crossed, listening to everything Phil is saying.

　

This morning though has been rather rough. She dreamt of him last night on a beach somewhere, kissing her softly like he used to like she was something so precious and fragile. When she walks into the kitchen blurry eyed and still half asleep, Lance hands her a steaming cup of coffee and she's so grateful she could kiss him. ''Morning love''. Skye grunts out what she thinks is a response and sits at the table.

　

''Bad night? You look terrible''. ''Something like that''. Bobbi and Simmons walk in and they always reserve the same expression for Skye. Pity mixed with concern, actually come to think of it pretty much everyone does. Poor little Skye who fell in love with a big bad Hydra agent. The coffee is so hot it burns her throat but she keeps downing it like it's water, so the grimace she wears they will assume it's because of that and not the thought of Ward.

　

She misses him and wants to punch him, loves him but hates him. It's all a very thin and confusing line. ''Skye the Director wants to see you''. Honestly these days it's never good when Coulson calls her to his office. It means one of two things, one he wants to discuss the growing threat of Hydra and to send her on a mission. The other is to talk about Ward, see if there's any intel she might have remembered that he might of let slip.

　

But that's just it he didn't. Grant never let her see anything but the perfect cover he mastered, Skye never saw all the parts he kept hidden from her. Not once not ever. Six years is such a long time to keep your wife in the dark but he did without hesitation without a flaw or scratch. Bitter? Perhaps she is. She likes option one a hell of a lot better. Jemma gives her shoulder a squeeze as she walks out, Bobbi tells her to keep her chin up.

　

Her coffee is finished by the time she reaches Coulson's office and the first person she sees is May. Standing at the corner of his desk stone expression, arms crossed feet apart. Just like Ward would. Skye is hoping that one day her long lost husband will not occupy every other thought in her brain, but today is just not that day. ''DC you needed me?'' Coulson turns around in his chair and she just knows by the look in his eye how this is going to go.

　

''We recieved a tip about a local Hydra base. I'm sending you and Agent Morse to check it out''. ''Yes sir''. She and May exchange a nod and this causes Skye to ache for the way things used to be. It seems like so long ago the three of them along with Ward and Fitzsimmons were sitting at a bar laughing about nothing, Skye warm with Grant's arm around her and the world just made sense. Everything is so much darker here.

　

May sends her the map of the area along with all the other intel she needs and then Skye is in the car with Bobbi, silent and fidgeting. Notices Bobbi watching her from time to time but doesn't say anything. Hydra makes Skye nervous for more reason than one, there's always a possibility that she could run into Garrett or Ward on these missions. It's something she has no desire repeating, for either of them.

　

The last time she saw her husband and his deranged mentor, well it's a memory she'd love to forget it's burned into her brain so violently. ''You ready?'' Bobbi asks when they arrive and Skye nods, she's ready for anything. During missons recently Skye has discovered that if she channels all the anger and pain onto the mission, uses it to focus and ground herself it's a hell of a lot better than just going through the same old motions.

　

The anger the hatred drives her, gives her a new focus she didn't have a few weeks back. It goes the same for training, most mornings she pictures May as Ward or Garrett, a faceless Hydra agent and if her SO can tell, she never comments. Turns out it's not the two men that appear out of the smoke of the Hydra base Skye was so worried about. She and Bobbi take down the agents easily and Bobbi cleans up the mess while Skye hacks into their main server.

　

She's pulling out a flashdrive leaning over a computer when a familiar voice sounds behind her. ''Well well well look what the cat dragged in''. A brick wall of memories hits her so hard it's difficult to breathe to think. She and Ward laying on the couch listening to another one of Kebo's war stories with a beer in his hand. Ward laughing at the ridiculousness of his friend, no one ever could make Grant laugh quite like Kebo.

　

Kebo has been apart of her life for five years, Ward kept him hidden away for the first year they met for safety reasons. He was Grant's best man at their wedding, was there every time they needed him. Ward never did never does go very far without Kebo at his side. And Skye supposes she should hate him too he's Hydra after all. Just like Ward just like Garrett. But Skye knows the real reason Kebo joined Hydra and she just can't fault him for it.

　

A cluster of late nights at home talking with Kebo, going out to dinner just the three of them, Kebo holding Ward close as another visit to the hospital resulted in heartbreak. Skye learned very quickly that he and Ward were a package deal, Kebo is his very best friend. Which is why Skye starts crying the second she hears his voice, it gets evey worse when she turns around and sees him leaning against the doorway like he's got all the time in the world.

　

Kebo is all height in a dark leather jacket, guns strapped to his hips, silver flask hidden in various pockets. Having him here when she hasn't seen him in weeks is like a small piece of her old life has returned. She isn't sure if that's a good or a bad thing and she doesn't care to dwell on it. He's smiling at her and she's running to his arms, hugging him tightly that he whines in protest but she doesn't let up.

　

''Missed you too cupcake''. He's stroking her hair, cheek pressed atop her head. Skye takes a deep breath against his shirt and fights off the wave of sorrow crashing into her ribs drowning her it's all Ward Ward Ward with his black Henleys standing in the kitchen, the small smile greeting her in the early mornings, a lingering kiss as they headed off to work. It's private jokes and clutching each other so hard it's a miracle they didn't break into a thousand pieces.

　

''Don't go crying on me now. Hey you cut your hair it looks really good''. He tangles a hand into her new fresh bangs and she chuckles. Shakes off the sadness and leans back to look at him. Frowns quickly as the sight of a new bruise on his cheek but he's quick to wave her off. ''Don't worry about me I'm fine''. ''What are you doing here?'' Kebo shrugs and releases her but keeps one arm across her shoulders as he directs her back to the computer she was at.

　

''Just hanging out really. Please continue to take down Hydra one computer a time my dear''. Kebo is about as loyal to Hydra as Simmons was when she was briefly undercover there a few weeks ago. He's watching her carefully drinking in the new hair and the muscles May has developed, how she favors her left side. All the details he can soak in so if Ward asks about it later he has information.

　

It's an unspoken rule between he and Skye that they don't talk about Grant. Since the fall of Shield they have met quite a few times over the past few months, Skye has cried on Kebo's shoulder multipule times, breaking apart bit by bit a side of her she can't afford to let Shield see. When she first found out about Ward Kebo was her rock, and she knows it had to of been the same with Ward.

　

Being apart can't be easy for him either. She doesn't like to think about that, it just makes her sad. Skye listens as Kebo rambles on over nothing of importance, just something to fill the silence as she works. His commentary is amusing and entertaining, always has been. ''Just admit it you're totally stalking me''. She says as he wonders aloud what exactly he's doing here. ''Honey cakes I love you but I didn't just drop by and risk my life to look at you.

　

I honestly don't remember why I'm here''. ''Probably because you were drunk whenever someone gave you the order?'' Skye finishes up and turns to him, he's giving her a wink and sipping from the flask. ''Probably. You busy tonight? Want to go for a drink?'' ''Sure''. The sound of gun fire makes her jump and probably always will, it shatters to her left and she's ducking for cover behind a desk.

　

She and Kebo return fire and he's complaining about saving her skin once again, if her hands were free she'd punch him. Bobbi is in her comm saying she's on the way to help and Skye is telling Kebo to get out of here, when somehow there's suddenly a sharp pain in her shoulder. She's been shot before the sting of the bullet has her crying out and then Bobbi bursts into the room, taking out the enemy targets like it's no big deal.

　

Skye is laying on the floor applying pressure to her shoulder to find Kebo gone and Bobbi is leaning over her. ''We need to get you back to Simmons''. Skye nods in agreement as Morse helps her up, ''got the intel''. Bobbi grins as Skye hands her the flashdrive, ''you're a rockstar''. An hour later she's in the lab and Simmons is applying gauze to the wound. Skye can't help but think how she's seen Jemma do this a hundred times for Ward.

　

He'd sit on the examination table or a stool and not make a sound, let Skye hold his hand not for his comfort but for her own. Back at home or in the early days his apartment, she'd kiss his skin and baby him for days on end, which he pretended like he hated but secretly loved. Jemma remembering this as well gives Skye a sympathetic look. ''It will get easier''. Skye does not agree but nods anyway.

　

Later on she's in the lounge watching Hunter and Mack play pool, beer in hand when a message from Kebo comes through. He's taking a rain check on drinks tonight he's terribly sorry, and asks if she's bled out from the bullet. Skye sends back that it's okay and she's fine, he comments on her 'stupid vague reply' and she ends the conversation after that. Turns in early after checking on Fitz, who's in the lab pacing back and forth, doesn't even notice her.

　

Her bedroom is dark, cold so cold even with four blankets and five pillows. Nothing is the same anymore, life without Ward is a lonely sorrowful place.

　

She will never love again.

　

 


	4. These Are What They Call Hard Feelings of Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garrett has a mission for Ward and Skye goes back to a place she never thought she would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two updates in one day, I was feeling inspired. 
> 
> I know this story is starting off slow and I have to warn you there will be a few more slow chapters, but stick with me.
> 
> I'm really excited as to where this is headed and we'll get a few flashbacks that I can't wait for you guys to read.

 

When Kebo makes it back to the base Ward and Garrett are currently at, he finds Grant pacing the floor. His expression blank but Kebo isn't stupid, there's worry there's fear in his eyes. At first Kebo assumes it's Garrett related and a small part of him is hoping the older man finally kicked it. But then he deicides if that were the case Ward would be more distraught than this. ''Why are you looking at me like I just ran over your cat?''

　

See Kebo knows that somehow Ward finds out everything, he's always one step ahead. Which means he is probably fully aware of the time Kebo just spent with Skye, whom he regrets leaving injured but she was in safe hands. He couldn't risk being exposed by Shield and the last thing Ward needs is to break him out of the whatever secret base they're hiding in these days. ''Where were you?''

　

Ah, he's going with the ignorance is bliss thing. Maybe Grant is just afraid of the truth, that Kebo was with Skye when he never will be again. ''Considering the fact I told you were I was going before I left''- ''you do remember I can tell when you're lying right?'' Kebo grits his teeth and walks over to chair, falls in it and stretches to reach the lukewarm beer on the table beside him. ''Of course not, one of your many annoying talents''.

　

''Kebo''- ''Ward I'm too tired to play games with you. You know where I was, just come out and ask me already''. There's a pained expression clouding over Grant's face, he hides the shaking of his hands well but there isn't a lot he can keep from Kebo these days. ''Shield raided on of our bases''. ''Yes they did''. Grant swallows and glances behind him, checking for Garrett. Who Ward will never let him see the weakness inside that's currently make him sweat.

　

''Which agents were there?'' There's a pause, a brief one causing a wave of longing so intense to press into Ward's ribs he can't breathe. Kebo answers,''your wife''. Her name falls off Ward's lips effortlessly as it always has, he remembers in this moment her face when he used to say it. Like she never believed her name was anything beautiful until it came from his mouth. ''Skye''. Grant has to fight off the scent of her hair and the sound of her laughter.

　

''Do you have another wife I don't know about? You lie to her for six years too?'' Kebo asks his words suddenly sharp causing Ward to duck his head. Kebo didn't really intend for that last bit to come out, he knows how much all of this has hurt Grant. Losing Skye was something he always knew was going to happen, but the man didn't exactly prepare himself well for the fall out.

　

But the pain he saw in Skye's eyes a few hours ago has left him haunted. He's only seen her three times since everything happened and each visit reminds him of a lost girl searching for a home, the same girl Ward and Shield found, put back together only to ruin her again. He hates the world he hates Garrett and Hydra to for destroying everything. ''Sorry mate. I didn't mean that''. ''Yes you did''.

　

Okay yeah he did, Kebo isn't picking sides here. It's not he and Skye against Ward or vice versa, there's so much pain and sadness in both his friends he's trying his best to be there for the two of them. Comfort them when he can, yell at them for being so stupid from time to time. ''How is she?'' Grant doesn't ask but he knows this isn't the first time Kebo has seen his wife, knowing he can do that so freely puts a bitterness in Ward's mouth.

　

''You really want to know?'' Kebo cracks the beer open, takes a long sip and watches Ward pace the room again like a caged lion. ''Yes''. He can't tell if Grant is lying or not, come to think of it he never can really, unless Ward wants him to. ''She's fine''. Ward whips his head around his eyes narrowing, they both know how much he hates that word. This causes Kebo to sigh, ''what do you want me to say? How do you think she's doing?

　

Anything I tell you is going to hurt and you've had enough of that for one lifetime''. Grant closes his eyes briefly, ''just please tell me she's okay''. ''She's okay''. A sigh of relief is short lived when Ward notices the hesitant tone in his friends voice, Kebo grits his teeth when he realizes that was caught. ''What?'' ''Nothing nothing your estranged dearly beloved is totally safe''. ''Kebo''- ''Okay okay so maybe she was shot a little bit''- ''Shot?''

　

Before the overwhelming panic can set in and Ward goes guns blazing into Shield's base, Kebo stands and puts a hand on his arm. ''Hey I said she was okay didn't I? It was just a graze boss, I'm sure she's patched up and in bed right now. Don't worry''. But how can he not? Grant spends his life worrying about Skye even though she's no longer next to him. And probably never will be. The thought of her being hurt well it's hard to think clearly.

　

He clears his mind and asks Kebo evey small detail of what happened, like Kebo knew he would. He does not mention the flashdrive however, let Skye have that small little victory. When it's over Ward sits down and puts his head in his hands. Hating himself all over again for the pain he's caused Skye, he never wanted this to happen. ''Don't do that to yourself. What happened happened and there isn't anything you can do to change it.

　

You just have to foucs on how to get Skye back''. There's a loud laugh that fills the small room but it doesn't belong to either of them. The two men turn to find Garrett starting to walk into the room and Ward immediately stands, spine straight ready to take on anything the whole world for John. Kebo hates that. ''Kebo did you forget to remind Ward that Skye hates him just like the rest of Shield?

　

No way in hell she'd ever trust him again. If their last meeting was anything to go on, she'll shoot him next time they see each other''. Grant doesn't react to Jonh's words, instead just slips into solider mode. It's easier this way. Shove all his feelings into a box and focus on whatever John needs him to do. It's always been this way. ''You know John you shouldn't put ideas like that in Ward's head. You don't know Skye like I do''.

　

Garrett rolls his eyes, ''as much as I enjoy talking about Ward's love life and trust me I do, it's the highlight of my day really. I have a mission for you boy''. John tells Grant who nods, he'll do anything for Garrett. Ward lets the water flow into his brain dragging Skye down with the current that are his thoughts to drown in later, right now John needs him and that is more important than anything.

　

He just didn't expect the mission to be in a place so familiar it's dangerous, but Ward shakes that off. He's Grant Ward, he can handle anything.

　

 

 

*

　

Skye takes a deep breath and pretends she can't feel the tears pricking her eyes. She shouldn't be here she really shouldn't be here. It's not smart it's only going to cause so much pain, this isn't safe why is she even here to begin with? The bandage on her arm smarts and Skye pulls the jacket so it isn't so tight around her shoulders. The cold wind tickles her nose it's starting to makes her hands go numb, the sky is gray it's supposed to snow later this afternoon.

　

The house sits in front of her like nothing has changed. She's done this before too many times to count, just stood on the sidewalk and gazed up at the perfect place she called a home for so long. She remembers now being blindfolded Ward's hands warm on her shoulders as he whispered not to peek, to trust him and she did she did oh how she did. The house was a surprise right before they got married.

　

They were engaged three weeks before Ward decided to bring her here and have something to look forward to when they got back from their honeymoon. He bought the house a year after they started dating, the poor sap, and in that moment when he took the blindfold off Skye swore she'd never been happier. That of course changed when she walked down the aisle of the church and saw Grant standing at the alter.

　

A smile on his handsome clean face, crying when his eyes met hers the shaking of his hands when he took her in his arms. How when the priest announced they were finally husband and wife and he kissed her, Skye could taste tears on her tongue but he probably could too. Sometimes at night she can still feel that, the water on her lips and Ward's hands through the fabric of the dress she only wore once.

　

Before all of that can choke her and the bitterness drags her down down down she closes her eyes, squares her shoulders and walks up the steps to the porch. The mailbox is slightly unsteady but stil the same bright silver Grant painted it three days after they moved in. If she squints hard enough she can see him standing there the bright sunlight behind him, bent over a paint can, dragging the brush across the mailbox with scary accurate straight lines.

　

The porch is small but still holds two chairs she and Ward used to sit in and watch the sunset, his slightly bigger than her small yellow one. The plant she bought a few days before everything went bad is long dead, wilted no sign of life anywhere on this porch. That makes her so sad brings that all too familiar pain to her chest. What is she doing here again? Why did May and Simmons insist this was a good idea?

　

She woke up earlier from a nap to do some training when May suddenly stopped in the middle and asked what her problem was. Skye responded nothing but soon was crying onto Jemma's shoulder and May was there rubbing her back and Skye hated feeling weak in front of them. They need her to be strong not sobbing over a man who will never return. That part of her life is over and done with, Ward burned all of it down.

　

Their solution? Exercise the demons inside, go back and home and try to get Grant out of her head. The last time she was here was when Shield fell and Ward called her to get somewhere safely. He was so scared, she remembers that now. The panic the ice cold fear in his tone. Back then she thought it was because he didn't want her to be hurt but now she knows it's because he didn't want her to find out who he really was.

　

May thinks spending a few hours here Skye will finally get closure. But right now all Skye can feel is crushing sadness maybe the neighbors won't judge her if she collapses on the sidewalk and cries. The door is locked, the red front door that she doesn't recall the last time she locked it. Skye doesn't have a key, they're probably still hanging on the hook on the kitchen wall right by Ward's set, above the collection of winter scarves and hats.

　

A few minutes later she's standing in the middle of the living room thanking her lock picking skills, and trying not to suffocate at all the memories that assault her just now. It all looks the same. Which is stupid because this house shouldn't even be here, in fact it should be bare and burned down with all the memories and ghosts of the people who used to live here. They're long gone with all their happiness. It was all false anyway.

　

The living room with the wide brown couch she and Ward spend hours laying on when days were slow, the kitchen where Ward cooked because she can't. Evenings when his back would be turned to her, the radio on and Skye sometimes would just sit at the kitchen island on the bar stools and just watch him. Her perfect husband who loved her so much with his stupidly handsome face and the look in his eyes when she told him she loved him too.

　

The wood floors they had to mop at least twice a week, the stairs leading up to the bedroom Skye fell down once. Resulting in a rather unpleasant thing she'd rather not think about. But she does remember the fear in Ward's face after she fell and how he cried into her hair hours later. She won't go up the stairs she won't go into their old bedroom she can't. The pictures are gone, it takes Skye longer than it should to realize that.

　

Their wedding pictures on the mantle above the fireplace aren't there, neither are the ones on the coffee table or in the hallway leading to one of the spare bathrooms. Skye takes comfort in that even knowing it was probably Ward that did it, took away all those pieces of their life together. She wonders if he did this as well, stood in the living room and let the past wash over him. Does he hate himself like she hates him?

　

Does he wish things were different? For a moment she's terrified that he could be staying here, the lack of evidence supporting that theory does not make her calm. Ward always was a neat freak, he'd complain of her socks on the floor or finding her clothes in various places around the house. She'd yell back that it was his fault mostly because he had a habit of ripping off her shirt or pants and blindly throwing them. Not caring where they landed, she was right.

　

There's this cold feeling sweeping through her legs as she nears the back door. Freezes in her step, hands touching the glass. Is this really such a good idea after all? Skye doesn't know. She just knows that right now in this second she'd rather die than leave this place, does not want to reflect on why that is. Maybe it's because this place is filled with mostly happy memories and she misses that.

　

Even if it is all tainted now here in this house was once filled with so much love. She'd do anything to get that feeling back, but knows deep in her bones she never will.

　

 


	5. A Scar I Can't Reverse, & the More It Heals the Worse It Hurts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Skye relives old memories in the house she once shared with Grant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A warning, this chapter contains a sensitive subject and I don't want to upset anyone. 
> 
> This entire chapter is mainly about the suffering Skye and Ward went through as she had multiple miscarriages during their marriage. 
> 
> The next chapter covers that as well. 
> 
> If you do not wish to read I understand.

 

His keys are gone. That's the first thing Skye notices when she moves away from the back door. She can't go out there, for the past few years the backyard was meant for one purpose and one purpose only, the place where all of Skye's joy went to die. A bitter reminder of the things she's lost, things she can't ever get back no matter how hard she and Grant tried. It's a place of mourning, remembrance. Torturing herself with tears until she couldn't move.

　

Skye stares the empty hook on the wall, her keys as are Ward's are gone. So are the winter hats she stored there along with the scarves Ward so rarely wore. There's dust on the kitchen counters just a light sprinkle and if Ward were here he'd have a fit. But he'll never walk these halls again or sleep in their bed, never carry her up the stairs or fall asleep on the couch with a book in his hand.

　

This brings tears to her eyes they fall down her cheeks quickly and she doesn't bother to wipe them away, no one is here to see her cry. Grant won't run his thumbs under her eyes in comfort ever again, won't press her to his chest and soothe all her fears. She'll never hear him whisper her name in the middle of the night if he isn't touching some part of her in his sleep, assuring himself that she's next to him safe and sound.

　

She stands there for a few minutes before moving over into the kitchen, the fridge is empty as are all the cabinets. Used to be it was stocked with Ward's healthy crap and Skye's equally unhealthy sugary foods right next to them, he'd have Bran Flakes and her Lucky Charms would be sitting on the table every morning. The coffee pot is gone as well, Skye couldn't function in the mornings without coffee, Ward always had a fresh cup waiting when she woke.

　

Closing her eyes she can picture it now, her walking into the kitchen in his shirt the bright morning sun sweeping into the small space. Ward in a dress shirt in tie smiling with his fresh shaven face, kissing her sweetly as she yanked the coffee mug from his hand. Always could count on him for a morning kiss and coffee, it's still hard for Skye adjusting to no longer having that.

　

God she misses him and hates herself all the more for it. Why did this happen? They were supposed to be happy, in love and have babies and grow old together. Die in each others arm sixty years from now, face whatever comes after this life side by side, leaving behind the kind of love their great great great great grandchildren search for, strive to find someone who looked at Skye the way Ward did.

　

Skye runs her hands along the living room wall by the stairs and tries not to think about all the times Ward pressed her into it and kissed her. Or how whenever he came back from a mission she'd slam him into it kissing him like it had been years since she did so. Grant had to of come back here and cleaned all this out, or maybe it was Kebo. Either way it doesn't look like anyone has been in this house for months.

　

Once upon a time she had a home in Shield in her husband, never thought it would all end in heartbreak but here they are. Ward is long gone doing god knows what and she's still with Shield molding herself into whatever they need her to be. Because that's all she has now, Shield is her life. She couldn't leave Coulson even if she wanted to. There's a thought a flicker that runs through her mind but she pushes it away.

　

Could the same be said for Ward? Is it impossible for him to leave Garrett?

　

The dark wooden stairs stare back at Skye like some kind of personal demon. Daring her to climb them, torture herself even more. She knows what she's going to find if she goes up there. A hall bathroom and closet they hardly used, two bedrooms meant for a family they never had. The master bedroom stuffed with so many beautiful moments Skye really doesn't know if she'll be able to breathe if she goes in there.

　

She gets as far as the hall closet before there's this pain so intense in her chest she has to lean on the wall for support, tears on her face once more. Ward may have been lying about who he was to her and to Shield, but his love for her? That was real, she knows that to be true. So why wasn't it enough? Why was she not enough for him, to do the right thing? Why did he choose Garrett over his wife? Skye never bothered to ask.

　

She was so angry the last time they saw each other, said so many nasty terrible things to him. When the wave of hurt passes Skye finds herself as she often does, fingers going to her left hand. The comfort her wedding and engagement rings always offered, but are no longer there. She flushed them down the toliet in a gas station bathroom right before she and the rest of Shield went to the Playground, Trip was by her side and she cried into his shirt.

　

Deciding the bedroom will be better off if her sadness doesn't taint all the happiness it once stored, Skye finds herself back in the living room. Eyes once again drawn to the back door, it's harmless if you didn't know what lies behind it. White painted wood, golden doorknob, small red checkered curtains covering the window looking outside. It's really a nice backyard, on the weekends Grant would make sure it always looked neat and proper.

　

She wanted a pool once but decided it was too expensive and if they ever had children she didn't want to risk them falling in and getting hurt. That seems to funny now, it was such a huge worry and now she doesn't have to think about it again. She will never have Grant's children, that dream is dead like so many others. The last time she went into the backyard it was to plant another flower, her hands caked in dirt by the time she was finished, like always.

　

At the thought more tears start to flow, flowers and bleeding Grant's hands on her shoulders holding her, trying not to cry himself. To be a pillar of strength like always but he was devestated too. Each time brought a hurt they never thought they could recover from, it was too painful. But they did, it's been about a year now since Skye ever stepped foot out there. Could she do it? Are they even still there?

　

If the flowers are dead it just might do her in, right now Skye is a string barely hanging on about to break piece by piece, all she can do is beg that the bright orange California Poppies she planted are blowing in the breeze still. Of course no one was here to water them, and no one will be here to replace them in the spring. It's been months, why would she think they would be alive?

　

Taking a deep breath because she won't be able to leave here satisified if she doesn't do this, Skye opens the door. Expecting the backyard to be overrun with tangles of weed and snarls of high grass that won't be trimmed. Instead it looks just as beautiful as always, everything might be turned to hell but this is still intact. Skye looks over to the garden to her left and this sob escapes her, she places a hand over her mouth so it does not grow any louder.

　

They're still here. Alive and well, bright orange all four of them. Moving with the winter wind slowly, the flashbacks take over her now.

　

Each flower represents how many children she and Ward lost. Skye never made it past twenty one weeks each time she discovered she was pregnant. The first time she nearly went mad with the pain, planting the flower helped. Ward found her in the backyard two days after the first time hands and knees covered in dirt, sweat on her brow, planting this flower. Afterwards he held her as she sobbed in his arms, he cried into her shoulder.

　

After the fourth time Ward all but begged that they stop trying, for a while. He couldn't take seeing her in so much pain, didn't want to keep losing and keep hurting. It was slowly starting to tear them apart, which Skye now thinks is some sick twisted irony that she'd rather not dwell on. She wonders now if things were different, if he would have wanted to try again. Perhaps she'd be pregnant now if the world were fair.

　

But it's not, and the memories of the babies she'll never have haunt her. The flowers stare back as a reminder and her hands are shaking. Some days Ward would come home from work or wake up in the middle of the night to find her out here. Just standing in the grass arms crossed crying for everything they don't have. He'd wrap his arms around her and kiss her hair, whispering sweet words in her ear until she calmed.

　

Now Skye is reminded of hospital beds and the worst news imaginable, how Ward was so strong for her but she'd find him sometimes in the spare bedrooms upstairs staring at the empty rooms. Crying silently wishing for children of their own, Skye would hold him close and cry into his shoulder blade, wishing for all the same things. They went through so much together Skye still can't understand how it all ended.

　

That their story went this way, it still feels like a bad dream.

　

This was their home the place they found pain but also solace in each other. Here in these walls safe from the world where Shield didn't matter, just Skye and Ward how it was always supposed to be, meant to be. When Shield first fell she'd wake up in the mornings expecting Grant would be next to her still in that small compartment, curled around her because the bed is too small but he wouldn't want to sleep anywhere else.

　

Those were the days she'd burst into tears over breakfast and either Trip or Jemma would have to take her to the lounge and hold her until she stopped crying. That actually still happens most mornings she's just better at hiding it now, Skye will probably always be reaching for Ward in a bed he's never slept it. She spends a few more moments looking at everything she's lost before wiping her eyes, shaking off the cold.

　

Turns to head back inside, thinks about going into the hall closet to see if any of her old leather jackets are still there. It's not the memories here or the flowers beside her that makes Skye stop in her tracks. It's not that she's afraid but surprised. Surprised that he's here that she didn't hear him approach. Grant Ward is standing there like he has so many times before, like he never left, like their love hasn't changed.

　

It's the worst cosmic joke ever. Because he's not supposed to be here he's supposed to be somewhere far away from this place, torturing her from a distance. Ward is supposed to be this haunting presence looming over her, making her train to be better faster agent so that what happened with him and Garrett won't ever happen again. Skye knew she'd have to see him again but she assumed it'd be on a mission or Coulson arresting him.

　

Not here at their old home staring at her like he's seen a ghost, this sad expression on his face that's sporting stubble now. He was always clean shaven unless the night before was rather rough and they did not sleep. Grant glances to the flowers then back to her, looking as if he wants to hold her but knows he can't. He no longer has that right. As soon as the shock leaves that fresh familiar anger enters Skye hot and fast.

　

She doesn't want him out here. Staring into the their old life knowing they would still be together if he made the right choices. If he didn't drop Fitzsimmons into the ocean, if he didn't let her walk away without a fight, if he chose Shield over Hydra. Skye used to think of him as this machine, always fighting to get back to her, to protect her and anyone else in his life. To make the right choices the best to his ability, to be a good man.

　

She'd never been more wrong.

　

''Skye''. He breathes her name as he always had and much to her annoyance, it still has the same effect on her. He seems to be just as surprised to see her though, she can't tell if it's genuine and he didn't expect her to be here, or he's lying. Skye once thought she could tell when he wasn't being truthful (which was rare but sometimes he lied because he thought he was avoiding hurting her, so much irony in there.)

　

She finds herself still frozen not able to move, her phone is in the pocket of her jeans she should reach back and tell May to come pick her up. Ward wouldn't stick around if the Calvary was here. The wind picks up and she shivers which of course he notices. Grant clears his throat and suggests she go inside, Skye doesn't rise to it. ''What are you doing here?'' Her voice sounds strange to her own ears. Dead hollow, detached.

　

No warmth for him anymore.

　

Ward hears this and his face falls just a tad but it's quickly cleaned away and back the same blank expression he wears most of the time. Skye used to tease him for it, called it his Specialist face, now she's reminded how hard the life of a Specialist was for him. Or maybe it wasn't at all. Maybe he enjoyed it. She'll never know, won't trust or believe a word that comes out of his mouth. Skye remembers the gun and ICER underneath her jacket, he's noticed that too.

　

''Kebo said you were hurt, are you alright?'' His tone is tender and soft, reminding her of early mornings with his lips on her neck. Of hospital rooms and telling her he loves her, that they will make it through this. The first night of their honeymoon she's half asleep and his trailing his fingers down her spine, whispering that he's never been this happy. That she's made his life better, that he'll love her until the day he dies.

　

Skye isn't even aware of her movements until her palm is stinging and Ward's cheek is red, he doesn't even flinch. It's the first time she's ever hit him and Skye feels this guilt enter her, because his brother was the one who struck him when he was angry. Not her, never her. She's supposed to be a safe place for him, away from all the abuse he suffered at the hands of his family.

　

''Guess I deserved that''.

　

The tears start up again and god they deserved better than this.

　

 


	6. Promised Your Love but You Lied

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Old memories and fresh hurt await Skye and Ward as they face each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS ONE YOU GUYS.
> 
> This one really took a lot out of me, hope you enjoy it.
> 
> Again just a warning and I'm sorry if it upsets anyone that is not my intention at all, this chapter does mention miscarriages once more.

 

He finds her in the backyard like he has so many times before. It feels like Ward has just stepped into his old life and for half a second he leans against the doorway and pretends nothing has changed. Like the past few months have not happened and she still loves him, that if he takes the few short steps over to her she'll let him take her in his arms and soothe her pain. Like she did all these times before, before it all went wrong.

　

Ward has stood in this very spot countless times over the years hating it. Hating the flowers Skye insisted on planting, a constant reminder of everything they've lost. Hated that she was in so much pain and he couldn't take it away, couldn't protect her from it. And that's all he's ever wanted to do, all he wants to do for the rest of his life. To hold her and apologize for everything, to have her look at him the way she once did.

　

But he knows wishing like that is futile. Skye will never forgive him. For Grant there's no greater loss than the loss of a child, nothing compares to that kind of pain. And he's had his fair share in his line of work. But nothing nothing could ever compare to seeing his wife sobbing in a hospital bed, or walking into the bathroom to find her covered in blood. Those memories those scars, the children they will never have haunt him every day.

　

He has nightmares about it, or sweet dreams where he and Skye are watching their kids play in a bright green yard, smiling at each other, finally realizing they did something right. He can't decide which dream is worse. Grant is actually not supposed to be here, John sent him on a mission he's already completed an hour away, Ward took this as an opportunity to stop by his old home and torture himself all the more.

　

He's actually been by here quite a few times since Shield fell. Took a few things down like their wedding pictures and such, thinking if Skye for some reason ever came back here she probably wouldn't want to see them. Each time he steps through the door it's a painful reminder of the best times in his life, he wants that back. Knows he'll never be able to have it. Skye's back is still to him he can practically see the sadness rolling off her like a throbbing wound.

　

They have been here many times before and all Grant wants to do is hold her. Assure her that everything is going to be alright. If everything went according to his plan, if she never found out what he was really doing with John, would they have tried again for another child? If the world were fair she'd be pregnant right now smiling up at him as their baby kicked underneath his hand.

　

He'd promise to protect them always, to love them until he dies and he'd be the best father he could. Even if his own father was an ass and John could never be relied on for warm and cuddly, he'd do his best. Ward would give his child everything he never had and more, Skye would be the perfect mother. Yes he'd be afraid of failure but knows Skye would never let him, he's never loved anyone the way he loves her.

　

These thoughts leave a lump in his throat so strong it takes longer than it should to compose himself. He's been down this road over the years that the thoughts have become repetitive and tangled, still can't quite fathom the fact that he will never have a baby with the woman he loves. Skye has every right to hate him for all the things he's done, after all he's not a good man despite what she once told him.

　

Soon she turns her eyes red and puffy and freezes when she sees him. Ward registers the shock on her face, how her hands shake. God she's so beautiful, this rush of longing enters him so fast it nearly brings him to his knees. ''Skye''. Her name flows past his lips he can't catch it in time. She's cut her hair it's shorter than it once was, bangs cover her forehead. She's still the most beautiful woman he's ever laid eyes on.

　

He suggests they go inside because he knows how much it cuts away at her to be out here, that she will spend days now in a mood between sad and angry. She ignores him, crosses her arms and looks away, trying to compose herself but fails.

　

''What are you doing here?'' Her voice is ice cold much like May's, he knows now without a doubt she's Skye's SO. Can tell by the way Skye favors her left side, the ICER and gun beneath her jacket, how she holds herself. She's so different than the girl he met six years ago. There's a hardness to Skye that wasn't there before, a bitter edge built by him. It's his fault he can barely recognize the person in front of him.

　

Brown eyes that once stared at him in adoration but now only hold hatred. The lips she used to grin at him with, kiss him slowly in the mornings are drawn now into a thin line. No warmth for him anymore, everything about her body language says she's on edge. Ready to defend herself in case he tries something, he can tell there's a phone in her back pocket and assumes if she had to, she'll call someone to come get her and arrest him.

　

Grant did a sweep of the land before he came into the house, knows Shield nor Hydra is here. Just the same nosy neighbors who stared at him in pity, word around the street is that Skye left him. Suppose she did in a way. Ward sees a bandage peeking out from underneath her shirt, how can he not worry? He never wants her to be hurt. ''Kebo said you were hurt, are you alright?'' It's just a habit, his concern for her.

　

He registers what she's going to do before she even does it, Skye may have changed in many ways but he knows all of her tells. So he doesn't stop her (which he very well could have) when she slaps him hard across the face. Can't tell if she's always been able to hit so hard or if May taught her how. Grant keeps his eyes on her so is able to see when guilt flickers into her cheeks for just a moment. And he hates it, he's never wanted her pity.

　

Knows she's thinking about his brother, his parents. They were cruel bastards and he's glad he will never see them again. ''Guess I deserved that''. The guilty expression is gone replaced by tears and Ward has to fight everything inside him that says to press her to his chest unti she stops crying. He hates to see her cry. ''What are you doing here?'' She asks again before taking one last look at the flowers and finally heading inside.

　

It does not escape Ward how she never turns her back fully on him, looks over her shoulder each steps she takes, half angled so if he was going to try something she'd be able to deflect just in time. Ward follows and wants to say he would never hurt her, not physically at least. He broke her heart and hates himself every day for it. ''Just passing through''. She doesn't believe him, he wouldn't either if he was in her shoes.

　

It's odd for him to see her back in the house they once shared. The past and present are colliding now full of broken pieces and bitterness so sharp it feels as if it's going to stab him. There's this heaviness in the air that's never been, a cavern between him and Skye that Ward knows he will not be able to cross. The kitchen is pretty bare now since he cleaned it all out, Skye looks around it sadly.

　

He wonders why she hasn't run out the door yet but supposes there is still time. He should get out of here, she's a Shield agent he's a wanted man. Coulson and May could be on the porch in ten minutes with a pair of handcuffs, there's no room to linger. But Grant can't tear himself away. Seeing her again has opened up those memories those feelings and he's glued to the spot. He doesn't want to leave her side.

　

''You took it all down didn't you?'' Skye's voice is sad and he aches. She leans against the kitchen counter reminding him of many mornings when he would smile at her and lift her onto the counter. Kiss her until they were late to work, she'd scold him but it was well worth it. ''Yeah''. He has no idea what to do here, she could be playing him, stalling for time until Shield gets here. It's stupid and wreckless he's better than this. But he just can't pull himself away.

　

''Why?'' He shrugs, ''why not? Not like we'll ever live here again''. ''What did you do with them?'' The pictures in frames over the years are stored in a safe house in California, Kebo suggested burning them but Ward couldn't bring himself to do it. ''They're somewhere safe''. Skye shakes her head, ''you should have burned them''. Ouch. This entire situation is painful and awkward he has no idea what to say to her.

　

They stare at each other for a moment so many memories drifting between them good and bad. They were so in love once so happy and it's all turned to dust. They are now part of each others past, a chapter in each other's stories. For Ward Skye is and always will be everything to him, no one will ever compare he will never love anyone else. He assumes for Skye he is one of the worst chapters in her life.

　

She will reflect on how she regrets not seeing him for who he really was, hating herself for being so vulnerable so open with another person and they stabbed you in the back. For the rest of her life she'll compare every man to Ward and have trust issues. He hates the thought of her with someone else but knows he has no right to not let her move on. He just wants her to be happy and since that's not with him, she should seek it elsewhere.

　

There's a knife in his heart but he pushes forward as he always does. It's the only thing he can do. Some nights he's angry with her too, if she really loved him why would she not try to see if there was another reason he was with Hydra? If she really promised to stand with him like she did in her wedding vows, why not ask him the whole story? He understands she's too hurt but still, he has reasons to resent her as well.

　

Skye lied that day just as much as he did. Their love couldn't save them after all.

　

She's looking at him now somewhere between anger and concern. ''You're an idiot. May is right down the street''. ''No she's not''. Skye cocks her head to the side, knows she's been caught in a lie. ''I would never hurt you Skye''. ''Wow. Little too late for that don't you think?'' ''That's not what I meant. I''- The front door opens and Ward spins around putting himself in front of Skye gun in hand ready to defend them. But it's only Kebo, whom he told to wait in the car.

　

''Hey boss can we go for pizza after this? I'm starving''. He steps farther into the room after Ward puts down the weapon, notcies Skye with her tear stained face behind him. ''Holy shit didn't know you were here''. Skye looks between the two men and shakes her head. Once they were a small little family ready to handle anything, now it's alll broken to pieces and she blames Ward for it all.

　

''Kebo get him out of here''. She says through clenched teeth, still shaking from the fact that Grant is here in the flesh standing in front of her. She thought she could handle it, prepared herself for this moment so many times. But now that it's happening Skye can hardly breathe, can't decide if she wants to slap him again or check to make sure he's alright. He looks so tired like he's carrying all this weight on his shoulders.

　

Ward won't stop looking at her it's causing these careful tight strings inside to quiver, she can't think with him here. Won't allow herself to think of everything they've shared in this house, all the love made all the joy and heartbreak too. They found comfort in each other during the hard times, they can't do that anymore. She's damaged and so is he and they can't hold one another and promise everything is going to be fine.

　

What does she do? She wants to leave and forget that this happened like it's a bad dream. Coulson would expect her to at least try to play him, trick him into thinking she wants him then trap him into Shield arresting him. May would want her to put up a fight to snarl how much she hates him and to hurt him in any way possible. Skye just stares back at Grant, finding it hard to look away finding it impossible to ignore all the pain in her chest.

　

''Skye''. ''Stop saying my name''. It's reminding her of so much it's suffocating. ''Ward why don't we step out for a minute yeah? Give Skye some space''. Kebo approaches the pair and puts a hand on Ward's arm, shoots Skye a look that says he's going to try and get her out of here unscathed. But he sends the same look to Ward and she wants to scream. ''You should leave Ward before I punch you in the face''.

　

His eyes are blank when he responds, ''go ahead, if it will make you feel better''. ''Okay dramatic no one is punching anyone. Let's go robot''. Kebo nudges Grant who does not budge, just continues to look at his wife like she's going to kiss him or kill him. Right now by the look in her eyes Kebo would bet on the latter. ''You should go Ward''. Skye whispers, wincing and turns away from them, rests her palms on the kitchen counter.

　

Skye knows she has no chance locking him up, he may care about her but there's no way he'd come willingly even if she's the one who demands it. For a reason she will never understand and Ward has no idea what compels him to say it because Skye has shown no signs of tenderness or care, he takes a step forward and says, ''we can fix this''. Kebo mutters a curse under his breath, and he thought they would all leave here without a fight.

　

Skye whirls around feeling as if he just kicked the air out of her lungs. ''What did you just say to me?'' Ward looks as if he wants to shove the words back into his mouth but they are out in the open and he can see it had the opposite effect on his wife. She does not give him a chance to defend himself because soon she's in his face rage in her cheeks. Her words he can tell are aiming to strike him down and nothing could brace him for what's about to happen.

　

''God you know now that I think about it I'm glad we never had kids''- ''don't say that''. ''Shut up Ward! You and I both know you would have ruined them like you ruin everything else. What would I say to them now if they ask where you are? Why we can't live here anymore, if they cried for you what would you do? You still would have picked John wouldn't you?'' ''I don't know''. That does her in.

　

''We had a life together and you destroyed it''. ''I know''.

　

''Fix this? You can't fix this Ward. You lied to me for six years, I have no idea who you are. Do you know what that's like waking up one day to find your husband isn't the person you married? You dropped Fitz and Simmons into the ocean Ward!'' ''I''- ''Don't speak. You've killed I don't know how many people, are you going to kill me now?'' He watches tears take over once more and shakes his head, ''no. I would never hurt you''.

　

She scoffs because they both know he already has. ''I hate you. You can't fix that''. ''I know''. Ward can hardly stand the look on her face, he not only betrayed her but their life together. The life she thought was real. ''Six years, how could you do that to me for six years? What was the point Ward? All this time spent wasted''- ''You weren't part of my mission''. Skye crosses her arms again, ''what?''

　

''I told you I'm a spy, I go in I get the job done''. ''You're a killer''. ''Well no one seemed to mind that when I was pulling the trigger for Shield''. She has no response to this, he does have a point. ''You were not apart of my cover Skye. Everything that happened between us was real''. Skye bites her lip and gazes at the man in front of her who was once everything but is now a total stranger.

　

''So even though you've been lying to everyone about everything you're saying your feelings for me''- ''they're real Skye. They always have been''. The way he's looking at now so much love in his face has her stomach rolling. Grant takes a careful step to her keeping tabs on the wild look in her eyes, ''Skye I know right now you hate me and that's okay''. She's either too afraid or just surprised because she doesn't pull away when he cups her face.

　

Just the small bit of contact has the both of them on edge. ''Someday, someday you'll understand''. Skye pulls out of his hold the disgust plain on her face that causes him to back away once more. ''No I won't''.

　

Kebo stands back and watches the scene unfold before him, it was only a matter of time before it came around. Skye starts yelling about how Ward is a terrible husband and he deserves to rot in hell for everything he's done. A very similiar speech to the one she gave him after she found out he was a Hydra agent. There's all this hate and pain in her eyes Kebo wonders how Ward can take it.

　

The cruel words she screams at him, but soon it becomes not enough. It had to be the flowers and him being here that pushed her over the edge. Skye starts throwing things at Grant whatever she can get her hands on, couch cushions, towels, clothes from one of the closets he didn't get to. All the while he stands there blank faced and taking it, tears of regret in his own eyes.

　

Skye is livid spilling out every emotion she's had locked up for these longs months and pouring them onto her husband. Who does nothing at all. She's calling him a coward and every other name under the sun, he does dodge the shoe aimed for his head though. Soon the wave of anger has passed and Skye is breathing hard standing in front of him her chest heaving nails a bloody mess, energy starting to drain.

　

Soon she feels nothing at all and drops to the ground in heap of tears and Ward can't hold it back. He catches her and holds her close, rocking her back and forth as she sobs into his jacket. Whispering into her hair that it's okay to hate him that he's so sorry for everything he's done. He knows she isn't hearing a word and in a moment she'll realize she's in his arms and she'll curl away from his chest in revulsion.

　

But he doesn't care about that right now. Because even if it's wrong he has Skye in his arms but he didn't want her like this. Crying so hard she's shaking and struggling to catch her breath, he never wanted to hurt her. ''I'm sorry Skye I'm so sorry''. ''Boss we need to go''. ''Kebo I'm not just going to leave her like this''. Grant glances up find Kebo looking at his phone, ''Shield just pulled up. If you want to avoid a tiny cell we need to leave now''.

　

Skye is quiet now, still in his hold. He looks down and she's just staring at the floor. Free hand on her flat stomach, the other clutching his shirt so hard it might tear. How can he leave her? He never should have in the first place. For the first time he's having doubts about Garrett, didn't he promise Skye she would always come before anything? And since she clearly didn't, was he lying in his wedding vows?

　

''Go Ward''. Skye mutters her voice sounding very small. Contradicting her earlier statement about him deserving to be locked up until he's old and gray. ''Skye''- She tears out of his hold not rising from the floor and wipes her face. ''Go''. ''I'm not leaving you''. A harsh laugh falls off her lips, ''but you're so good at it. Just go''. ''Skye''- ''Grant May is about three seconds from coming in here and beating the hell out of you.

　

I don't want you here I don't need you. Leave before I decide to do the right thing and shoot you''. She's serious and he isn't sure how he feels about that. God in all the years she's known him Skye never thought she'd speak to him this way. Soon she's alone her knees drawn up to her chest and the front door opens. May and Hunter are walking through a house they've never been in and Skye never will be again.

　

Coming here wasn't such a good idea after all.

 


	7. Oh Take Me Back to the Night We Met

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flashback to the first time Skye and Ward met.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thank you for reading, comments are greatly appreciated.

 

 _The first time Ward sees her, he's a goner. With her long brown hair shining under the bar lights, this purple top that will become his favorite over the years, showing her smooth skin. He's j_ _ust gotten back from a mission and Fitz invited him out for a drink with himself and Simmons, normally it isn't Ward's scene but Simmons insisted and he never can tell her no. Besides he needs all the intel he can get on these people._

_The bar is loud starting to give him a headache and Fitz is laughing while Jemma smacks his chest, ordering more drinks and Grant can't seem to tear his gaze away from the woman across the room. He's been at the Triskelion for a few years now and is quite confident in the seeds he's planted so far, he's heard whispers rumors that he's rising to the top as a Shield agent._

_Only twenty seven they've already started to refer to him as the best since Natahsha Romanoff, John jokes that he better not get a big head about it. But of course he won't. ''Oh good she made it''. Simmons suddenly cries breaking away from their small table and walking across the room. Ward is keeping an eye out ever paranoid when Fitz nudges his elbow. ''I should warn you Simmons is going to bring a girl over here''._

_He must make a face because Fitz starts laughing and hands him a beer. ''It's the one you've been staring at for the past two minutes. Be nice''. It sounds like something Kebo would say and Ward just for a moment wishes his friend was here, but he's somewhere knee deep in Asia and won't return for a great while. Ward watches as Jemma tugs on the girl's arm and gestures to their table, she doesn't look at Grant._

_If Kebo were here he'd tell Ward to stop staring that it's creepy, so he does. Instead focuses on the beer bottle like it's a bomb he's trying to disarm. The scent of vanilla is suddenly very close and when he looks up there she is. Standing in front of him eyes skipping over everyone at the table whom Simmons introduces her to. ''And this is Agent Ward. Ward this is Skye''. Skye. It sounds fake, forced like perhaps she chose it herself._

_She looks at him with deep brown eyes and he finds it hard to remember he's supposed to respond back. ''Nice to meet you''. The sentence comes out gruff and unfriendly which wasn't his intention, usually Ward is an expert at being in control of himself. What he says how he says it, it's all carefully crafted, an art as John sometimes calls it on the rare occasion he compliments Grant. So why is he feeling flushed and out of sorts all of a sudden?_

_''Wow Agent Toolbag at work and off the clock''. Skye says with her arms crossed and Ward nearly chokes on his beer. ''Excuse me?'' Simmons laughs loudly trying to direct the conversation elsewhere while pushing Skye into the booth across from Ward.. ''So Skye you work at the Triskelion? IT Department right?'' Fitz asks throwing a glare at Ward. ''Yeah I'm good wtih computers, like scary good''._

_''Ward you're good at stuff too aren't you?'' This is how it goes all night. While Ward is drawn to Skye and can't keep his attention off her for more than a few moments, it's very clear she does not like him at all. Which isn't surprising, most people don't like Grant when they first meet him. Simmons keeps trying to include him in their conversation and then Skye will brush him off, throwing her hair over her shoulder (which is distracting) and ignores him._

_Which wouldn't bother him normally, she's Jemma's friend they don't know each other, he's not exactly the best when it comes to small talk. Unless it's with a target but that's not the point. When he goes to take a phone call he can feel eyes on him, when he turns back it's Skye's. Watching him slowly, it's unnerving. ''You do realize it's three in the morning here yeah?'' Kebo's voice is annoyed, thick with sleep when he answers Grant's phone call._

_''How do you get a girl to talk to you?'' ''You're literally a grown man''. ''Kebo''- ''Oh right you have emotional damage I forgot who I was talking to for a second. Forgot John threw you out into the woods and destroyed all your social skills, flirting included. Which is odd because you have no problem if the woman is a mark''- ''Can you focus please?'' Ward glances around to make sure no one is hearing this._

_''Shut up you're talking so loud. Okay wait a second you're calling me for advice on how to speak to a woman? Is it serious? Did you meet someone? Am I no longer going to lie awake at night worrying that you're going to die all alone and never know what it feels like to be loved?'' ''Please tell me you don't actually do that''. Kebo clears his throat, ''um no. That would be so weird''. Grant always knows when he's lying._

_''Anyway just go over there and talk about anything, hey you love dogs. Women usually love dogs, try that. Oh wait, shit John shot your first dog didn't he?'' Ward doesn't like to think about that, Buddy was he first best friend the only comfort in those long years out in the woods alone. ''So are all the stories about you true?'' Ward looks over his shoulder to find Skye standing there leaning against the bar smirking at him._

_''Who is that? Is that the girl? What does she look like? Oh send me a picture!'' Ward hangs up the phone and orders a whiskey. ''Depends on what you heard''. Skye takes a sip of her beer and looks at him from the tip of his head to his feet. He wants to tell her it's just a face that everyone he's ever known has exploited him for it, but he doesn't. ''That you're a robot''. Ah, he's heard that one too. ''And that you have the best shot since the Black Widow''._

_Ward gives her a smirk that he uses on female targets because at this point he's out of tricks. ''Don't believe everything you hear''. They banter like that back and forth for a few minutes before he asks, ''how long have you been with Shield?'' He's confident he's never seen her before. ''A few years, joined when I was eighteen''. Years later he'll find out Skye wasn't ignoring him this night at all._

_She had a boyfriend at the time and in her words not his, ''You were too damn hot for your own good, you were sitting there staring at me with your dumb puppy dog expression. If you asked me to get in a cab with you that night I would have, and I didn't want to do that to Miles''. After a few months though she ends things with Miles when they both realize she has feelings for someone else._

_A year later she and Ward are running across the street arm in arm to her apartment the snow falling hard around them, the cold numbing their skin. Skye is laughing not caring at all about the temperature holding Ward as tightly as she can. They race inside and lock the front door keeping the lights off, Ward pulls off her purple knit cap and throws in onto the couch. The small room is low lit from the light on the stove._

_Her cheeks are flushed her nose red from the cold, her hands are shaking even in thick gloves. Ward takes off his coat and takes her in his arms, grabs her hands and presses them underneath his shirt for warmth. Skye gives him a grateful smile and puckers her lips up, he kisses her slowly she tastes like apples and coffee, he can't stop kissing her. It's becoming something of a habit he's noticed, whenever she's around he just wants to always be kissing her._

_Kebo blames it on the lack of affection Ward had as a child, and how he can't bare to be touched because of the horrors in his childhood. But with Skye he craves her touch all the time, can't stand to be away from her. Which is a problem. He can't get attached he knows this, but right now he couldn't give a damn. Skye is rubbing her cold nose into his neck her lips warm once more on his collarbone._

_He kisses the top of her head cups the back of her neck, his arm wrapped around her waist. He's never had someone like Skye before. Someone who cares about his well being, who cries when he's injured, who makes sure he's eating and has fresh sheets when he comes home from a mission. He's never been in love before but if this is what it is, what it feels like, it's the most beautiful thing he's ever experienced._

_The words just tumble out of him before he can stop them. Skye has moved to kiss his jaw and then lifts her leg, he picks her up and she keeps her legs locked around his waist. A warm smile and then she's kissing him. ''I love you''. Skye doesn't freeze up or run away screaming from the room like he expects, like she should. Because this isn't fair he's a selfish bastard she deserves better than this than him, a liar._

_Instead she breathes deeply and kisses him, running a hand through his hair. ''I love you too''._

_It's the easiest thing in the world, like they say it every other day. He's never been this happy in his entire life._

　

 

 

*

　

Skye strikes the punching bag over and over again sweat pouring down her back her knuckles scream in protest but she can't stop. She's currently picturing Ward's face and won't stop until it makes her feel better. It's been a few hours since she left the house, Skye will never go back there again. Doesn't want to think about the conversation, doesn't want to think about flowers or picture frames or lying husbands and how she loved him so much once.

　

Of course it does not work. What the hell was he thinking? Did he really think they could fix everything? That if he apologized and held her when she was crying like he used to, she'd forgive him? Come running back into his arms with a smile on her face? She will never forgive him. He's done too much spilled too much blood, ruined it all. Skye wasn't lying when she told him she was glad in the end that they weren't able to have kids.

　

How wrong would it all be? Their father would not be around, Skye would of left Shield and disappeared. What kind of life would she be able to offer them on the run? Ward wouldn't give them up without a fight and there's no way she'd let him around them. It's funny now how she wanted a child so badly then with Grant but now when she really honestly thinks about it, this isn't the kind of world she'd want to raise them in.

　

But she can't imagine having babies with anyone else either. So. Skye continues assaulting the bag until someone clears their throat behind her. It's Bobbi who tosses a water bottle at her, ''thanks''. ''You're picturing his face aren't you?'' Bobbi gestures to the bag and Skye nods. ''It helps''. ''Did he, he didn't hurt you did he?'' Skye told Coulson about Ward being in the house, the arguement they got into to.

　

''No, I'm good. Just pissed. I want it over with you know, just move on with my life. And I can't do that if Grant is still out there doing god knows what with John Garrett''. Skye isn't exactly lying. A small part of her longs to wake up one morning and not automatically reach for Ward, to not think about him nearly every time she has a free moment. Besides she hasn't actually processed the entire conversation they had, she'll save that for tonight.

　

''Well Coulson isn't going to stop looking for him and Garrett. We'll find him Skye don't feel guilty for not being able to stop him when May showed up''. She neglected to tell Coulson about telling Grant to leave, obviously. Skye still can't come up with a valid reason why she did that, doesn't she want him to pay for his crimes? ''I don't feel guilty I'm pissed''. She strikes the bag again, trying to feel the anger but instead it's just emptiness.

　

''Skye you're a good agent but not even I could capture Ward if we were alone. May just missed him by a second''. She and Bobbi spar for an hour before Mack tells them they are needed in Coulson's office. Skye stops by the lab on the way to his office to check on Fitz and Simmons. Who are moving cautiously moving around each other like if they accidently touch it will harm the other, this time Skye feels guilt.

　

Knows it's not her fault that Ward nearly killed them but she can't help it. They all trusted Ward that he would never hurt them, would die before that ever happened. They were wrong about a lot of things when it came to him. Simmons gives Skye a tight smile and gestures that she should go on, come back and visit later. She finds May and Coulson standing in the middle of his office, her shoulder burns and Skye knows she pushed too hard.

　

Her wound hasn't fully healed she's going to pay for it later. ''You needed us sir?'' Coulson turns to the pair and nods. ''We have a Hydra agent that's reached out to us, wants to make a deal''. ''What kind of deal?'' May and Coulson look at her and there it is, the pity she's come to loathe. ''Let me guess, he knows where Ward is''. A nod and May gives her a stern look, ''can you handle this?''

　

''Yes''.


	8. You Were A Perfect Illusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another mission interrupted by Hydra.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was fun to write. 
> 
> Sorry for the later updates now, but I've been struggling with writer's block terribly, on this story and Part 4 of the Avengers AU.
> 
> So if you can, if you enjoy my fics, please bear with me.
> 
> Enjoy!

 

Ward never enjoyed eating outside. That's the first thing Skye thinks of when she's seated out on the patio of a small restaurant three weeks later. The Hydra agent who was willing to strike a deal with Shield, Ward and Garrett in exchange for his freedom and protection from Coulson if something goes wrong. Phil is so desperate for the two men he would have agreed to anything. The agent kept getting spooked and putting it off, long enough that May lost interest.

　

He reached out earlier this morning and here they are, Skye is going to meet with him while Bobbi and Trip are close by, watching. Trip is across the street and Bobbi is seated inside, her back to the window. Skye orders a water and wonders if Grant really did after all detest eating outside. It could have been just a Specialist thing but she's seen Bobbi and Trip do it without a problem, so maybe it was just Ward.

　

''Target approaching, Skye you're up''. She sees the Hydra agent coming out of an black Honda, sunglasses and red ball cap on like he's undercover. He walks cautiously over to Skye constantly looking over his shoulder, when he makes it to the table Skye can see his hands are shaking. She takes a sip of water as he takes off the sunglasses, grimaces against the bright Oregan sunshine. ''Is it safe here?'' He asks.

　

Skye can almost feel the nervous energy rolling off him, how he twitches in his seat. He can't be older than twenty three, still a round baby face and rosy cheeks. Dark red hair that sticks out a thousand different directions, Skye doesn't have to have any super spy skills to see the gun tucked into his jacket. She'd be afraid to perhaps if she was betraying Hydra, they would not show mercy like Coulson would.

　

If they find out about this meeting they will kill him and although Hydra is a sore spot for Skye she isn't going to let this man be harmed. ''Yeah we're safe, no one is going to hurt you here''. There's a small sigh of relief before he's gulping down the last bit of her water and slapping his sunglasses on the table. ''So you have information on Grant Ward and John Garrett''. ''What's your name?'' Skye folds her hands on the table and cocks her head.

　

''We're not here for that''. His green eyes search the area again, still frantic. ''Look I can promise you that Director Coulson isn't going to let anything happen to you, and neither will I okay? So just tell me everything you know''. A waitress comes by and the man, Jeff is his name, orders a coffee. ''Garrett is dying''. ''We're aware of that''. ''He doesn't have a cure''. Good. ''Okay. What else?''

　

''I know he's looking for a specific Shield agent, but I don't know her name''. She hears Bobbi's sharp intake of breath over their coms, doesn't have to be looking at Trip to know he has tensed up. Skye can only assume it's her but doesn't voice that. John could be looking for anyone in Shield, perhaps it's May or Simmons, could be Jemma since Ward's attempt at crossing her off failed. But if it's not and it is Skye, why?

　

She knows he wasn't exactly happy when he found out she and Ward were married but they aren't together anymore, why would he care now? ''Where are they?'' Jeff takes a gulp of coffee and looks around, ever paranoid. ''Look I need assurance that this area is secure''. ''I already told you''- ''You don't know what I'm risking! You don't know this Ward guy alright? He's scary. He will kill me if he finds out I'm here''.

　

This almost makes Skye laugh. Because there are many things she could use to describe Ward but scary is not one of them. All she can think of in this moment is a few years ago late at night when she woke up to an empty bed. It was snowing hard at the time well below freezing, and she found her husband shirtless on the middle of the porch holding a small bundle in his arms, covered by one of the blankets hanging off the back of the couch.

　

Grant risked becoming ill to rescue a small puppy that had wondered onto their porch that night, apparently he heard it howling and scratching on the front door. They were going to keep it but Skye was pregnant at the time and they just didn't have the room for both a dog and a baby. It only stayed in the house for a few days but Skye would come home from work to find Grant laying on the floor with the dog, playing with it like he had all the time in the world.

　

It was the cutest thing though, a german shepherd that Fitz named Monkey, he and Ward for those precious three days coddled and loved that dog like it was a real human child. They found a good home for it and while Grant was sad for a few weeks, it was the right choice. It's one of those memories Skye pulled out when she needed to smile, but now it's all tainted. Bitterness is the only thing that follows her and Ward around these days.

　

''We're not going to let anyone from Hydra hurt you okay? I promise''. ''You're not going to be able stop Ward if he finds out''. ''He won't''. Jeff finishes his coffee and rubs his hands together. ''Where are they?'' Her phone vibrates and Skye lifts it out of her pocket, it's a message from Kebo asking what she's doing. It's ignored and Skye slips it back into her pocket, looks up and freezes. Bobbi curses quietly and Trip grinds his teeth together.

　

''Hey Skye''.

　

Ward is sitting at the table like he's been there for a very long time, arm slung across Jeff's chair who looks like he's about to be sick. His face is pale his entire body is shaking and all Skye can do is stare. Think about the last time she saw Ward at the house the flowers, she has to call upon May's training to avoid thoughts about the backyard and cold dark hospital rooms. ''How did he know we were going to be here?'' ''Jeff had to of set us up''.

　

Trip and Bobbi begin arguing while Ward is just wearing a calm expression almost smirking as he looks at Skye. He observes that it seems she hasn't been sleeping well, she's too thin. May's training is evident in the muscles in her arms, now that she's sitting in front of him he can really look at her. Back at the house all he could think of was her pain and everything they'd been through in those four walls, he didn't focus on anything else.

　

He wants to compliment her on the haircut, how beautiful she is. But has to stop himself, he'd probably be slapped again. He can tell she's trying to even out her breathing either at the surprise of seeing him there or the terrible things she said to him back at the house. Kebo yelled at him later for it, that he shouldn't of told Skye they would be able to fix things, that's what set her off.

　

But honestly Grant still can't justify why he mentioned it. He knows deep in his bones Skye will never love him likes she once did, never trust him. Their life their marriage is over, she was right there is no fixing this. ''What are you doing here?'' Skye sees Ward's eyes travel from her to Jeff and his expression turns blank. ''Well when your wife goes out to lunch with another man you can't help but be curious''. If at all possible, Jeff grows even more nervous.

　

''I am not your wife anymore Ward''. ''Skye''- ''I'm not your wife because my husband never existed. The man I loved was nothing more than a cover, you're nothing to me Ward''. If his words effect him (they do they do of course they do) he doesn't show it. Instead he just shakes his head and says, ''everything between us was real''. All she responds is, ''could have fooled me''. Jeff starts sweating and Grant directs his attention back to him.

　

''Come on Jeff did you really think I wouldn't find out?'' ''You can't touch him Ward, he's in Shield custody''. Skye didn't hear Bobbi approach but suddenly the other woman is sitting next to her, across from Ward who doesn't even blink. If they expect him to intimidated, it's not working. ''And what's your point? You really think Trip is going to be able to stop me?'' ''You won't make a scene in public''.

　

''Oh Morse you really don't know me at all''.

　

Bobbi begins attempting to calm Jeff who either looks like he's going to jump up and run, or have a stroke. Grant isn't listening to any of it, not Bobbi, not Skye who's trying to talk to him about how wrong this is. That he can't hurt Jeff. What she doesn't understand is Jeff betrayed John, he is now the enemy, he doesn't get to live. ''Alright let's play a game of everyone shuts up and Garrett gets what he wants.

　

Jeff we're going to take a little ride, Shield is not going to be able to protect you, they knew that the second you called them. Do you really think anyone at this table cares about you?'' Grant doesn't have to be looking at Skye to know she's frowning at him. Bobbi pulls out a card he figured she would but it hurts nonetheless. ''What kind of monster are you Ward? What the hell did John Garrett do to you?

　

What kind of man tears apart lives like this? Do you even care what you've done to Skye? She was your wife and you lied to her for six years straight, you tried to kill your best friends, god knows how many others you've killed. Coulson is going to hunt you down and kill you along with John''. The words sting. Does she honestly think any of that was fun for him? That he enjoyed lying to Skye? That he wanted to hurt Fitz and Simmons?

　

That it brought him pleasure to have Skye love him so much, much more than anyone ever had before, only to turn around and stab her in the back? Have her look at him like she does now like he's the worst person imaginable. It's a price he's had to pay, and that's what Ward does. Always. No matter what happens he's always paying for something. It started when he was a child and hasn't let up since.

　

He looks over to Skye whom he can tell is trying not to cry. That's another thing he's always doing it seems, hurting her. But her eyes shift suddenly to the right and he watches as this overwhelming sadness enters her face. It's a look he recognizes well. He's got one eye on Morse and the other on what has Skye's attention and his heart sinks. A woman two tables down is lifting her baby out of it's stroller and hugging him to her chest.

　

Smiling brightly as she cradles him, kissing the top of his blonde head before passing him to his father. Who wears the same expression, full of awe and love at the baby in his arms. Over the years Grant has caught Skye doing this whenever they went out. He still hates it, a reminder of everything they couldn't have. Not too long ago he could wrap and arm around her in comfort, say something in the hopes to ease her pain.

　

But he can't do that anymore. She's alone in her suffering and so is he. It's all his fault. Ward wipes it all away and gives Morse a smirk, ''Coulson doesn't scare me''. ''He should''. Bobbi looks over to where Trip is sitting across the street, the other man gets up and walks away. Grant knows he is calling Phil who will more than likely send in the Calvary. If he wants to get out, now is the time to do it.

　

Skye looks back over to Ward who shifts slightly and they all see Jeff jump up like someone came up behind him and screamed. Skye can only assume Ward has pulled a gun on him. ''Grant don't do this''. Skye finds herself saying, only because May is telling her in the com to do whatever she has to to get Jeff out of there alive. And what's the way to do that? Play on Ward's weakness, her.

　

If Ward has any kind of reaction to her using his first name she can't tell. Instead he acts like he didn't even hear her. ''Alright Jeff get up, slowly''. Jeff looks over to Skye with so much fear in her eyes it's alarming. Before she can even process what she's doing Skye finds herself between Jeff and Ward. Shielding him from her husband who looks midly amused. ''What are you doing Skye? Move''. ''Not going to happen. I'm not going to stand by and let you hurt him.

　

You want to kill him? You're going to have to go through me first''. It's the perfect card to play, Ward isn't going to touch her. There's a twitch in his left eye and Skye looks down to find she was wrong a second ago, Ward didn't pull a gun on Jeff. He took the one Jeff had in his jacket. Skye looks up at the man who used to complain when she left toothpaste in the sink or her hair on the bathroom counter, who loves pumpkin pancakes and being woken up by warm kisses.

　

　

''Skye don't''- ''make a choice Ward. Him or me''. He could laugh, she's only said that to him once and it wasn't Jeff standing here behind her either. He chose wrong last time. Ward sighs and fights the urge to smooth out the worry lines in Skye's forehead like he used to. He can't deny her anything and he knew the second he walked over to the table this was how it was going to end. John isn't going to be happy.

　

''Tell Phil this was a good play''. Bobbi looks at him confused even though they both know she is not. ''What are you talking about?'' Ward looks down at Skye sadly, ''sweetheart they used you as bait''. Skye waits for Coulson or May to object but they don't and then she understands. They weren't sure if Ward was going to show up but if he did they had the perfect thing to disarm him with. Her. Coulson knew exactly what he was doing.

　

''What the hell are you doing?'' Kebo appears literally out of nowhere and brings this relief to Skye, this lighter air she breathes in. Ward is always better when Kebo is around. ''Kebo I told you to wait in the car''. ''Yeah and you left me in there with no water or air conditioning. I could have died''. ''You're not a child''. Kebo looks over to Jeff and shakes his head, ''man you knew he was going to find out. What were you thinking?''

　

''Who are you?'' Bobbi asks and Kebo ignores her completely. ''Skye why are you standing so close to Ward? Oh my god did I interrupt something? Wait if you two are about to kiss don't do it until I get out my phone so I can record it''. Ward rolls his eyes and Skye slaps Kebo's jacket. ''I'm kidding relax and stop glaring at me. Anyway Ward come on, let's go. Let Jeff go before he pisses himself''.

　

''Kebo he was going to betray John''. ''Who doesn't have to know you released him''. Skye watches Ward process this, he looks hesitant. ''I can't lie to John''. Ward's tone is void of emotion but she sees Kebo soften just a tad. ''Why not? You did for six years, didn't tell him you were married''. Skye slaps him again but after a beat Ward let's Jeff go. Who looks as if he's going to cry. ''Don't ever let me see you again''.

　

Grant tells him steel in his voice and Jeff nods, glances at Bobbi before taking off in a run. ''You're not getting out of this Ward''. Bobbi threatens and both Grant and Kebo laugh. ''And who's going to stop me? I know you won't make a scene Morse''. Ward's eyes go back to Skye who has been silent throughout all of this, her focus is back on the baby two tables down. Kebo's hand is on the back of his jacket but he can't stop looking at Skye.

　

Who turns back to him after a moment her face hard as stone, ''you were right Ward. You are not a good man''. And without looking at anyone leaves the patio, hands stuffed into the pockets of her jeans, going to join Trip in the car a block away.

　

That numb feeling is back in his veins. She's right.

 

 


	9. I Should Move On, I'm Lying in the Ocean Singing Your Song

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Both Skye and Ward can't seem to stay away from each other no matter how hard they try.

 

Ward wonders if Skye meant it when she said she's glad they never had children. She was so angry at the time he's honestly not sure. All he can imagine is how wrong that is, he has flashes of holding Skye as she sobbed in a hospital bed or on the bathroom floor. Clinging to him like he was the only thing keeping her upright. Skye would spend days very far away from him locked in her head afterwards, each time was like a stab in the heart for them both.

　

Skye would go to work and kiss him goodnight, act normal but he could tell there was always going to be apart of her missing. Losing a child destroys you, and they lost four. It's cruel. The worst thing he's ever gone through, Grant wouldn't wish that kind of pain on anyone, not even an enemy. You don't get over something like that. Maybe Skye was just so pissed at him she said anything that could hurt him as much as he hurt her.

　

He gets it she has every right to hate him. But for her to say she was glad to not have his children, it stung. Ward can see her side though, what kind of life would their kid have when Shield fell? Would Grant make the right decision and not follow John? Or would he still be here in the same position, never seeing his baby? Skye wouldn't allow him near their son or daughter, he would have to choose.

　

Suppose it's not really a choice at all, he would pick his family without a doubt. But this topic is a dead one. no use dwelling on it now. Ward walks into the safe house he and Garrett are currently residing in, John is fast asleep. It's three in the morning and Ward finds himself wide awake his mind not shutting off. He tries every trick in the book to keep the thoughts at bay, after a shower and some breathing exercises he's still wide eyed in bed.

　

He knew Jeff was going to betray them, it was obvious. What Grant didn't count on was Skye being the Shield agent to question him, Coulson set a very fine trap indeed. The Director of Shield used Skye to lure Ward in and it worked, he couldn't leave that patio table. It would have been so easy too, force Jeff away and lead him into the car, dispose of him quickly. It's what Garrett expected.

　

But then he saw Skye sitting there her expression hard, so different from the woman he used to know. May is training her hard he can tell, trying to build up walls so high and wide Ward has no chance of breaching them. Not that Skye would ever let him anyway. He doesn't want to accept that but knows the days of her seeing him as anything other than a liar are over. He isn't her loving husband anymore, he can't kiss her good morning or love her the way she deserves.

　

Soon he's drifting off and dreams of Skye with her long hair, she's laughing at him and for once the dream is perfect. Everything is as it should be.

　

A few hours later he's just finished his morning workout and is making coffee when Garrett strolls into the kitchen. It's seven forty five, he's slept in late and this has Ward worried. ''Relax son I'm fine''. ''You never sleep in John''. ''I was tired, not a big deal''. These days it's becoming more and more evident of John's rapid decline in health. He's slower, sleeps more, doesn't go on missions quite as often.

　

Grant won't admit it to his mentor but he's terrified. He can face bombs and being held captive. gun and knife wounds, but John dying? A world without the man who saved him from a living hell? Ward doesn't even want to imagine it, and they aren't any closer to a cure than they were six months ago. ''Where's your boyfriend?'' Ward rolls his eyes, ''Kebo wll be back in a few days''. ''He's with Skye isn't he?''

　

Ward did not ask Kebo but more than likely, he's always nice to talk to and by the looks of it Skye needed him desperately. ''Probably''. John shakes his head as Ward pours him a cup of coffee. ''You have to get over that broad''. Skye is the one thing he and Garrett don't really talk about, John is still pissed his golden boy lied to him for six years. Ward doesn't want to reveal anything about Skye to Garrett because honestly he wants to protect her.

　

He knows exactly what John does to something he deems a weakness and Ward has no intention of letting him touch Skye. Grant just shakes his head and hopes Garrett drops it, he doesn't get his wish. ''Look I get it, she's cute. But she's not the only woman out there kid''. Well she's the only woman Ward wants, always. He will never love another person the way he loves Skye, he can't think of anyone else like that.

　

''I know''. ''Do you? Please tell me you're not still waiting for her''. He'll probably always be waiting for her. Ward's face is blank but John has known him long enough to tell what he's thinking. ''Grant she hates you, she will never love you again. Why can't you see that?'' ''I know exactly how Skye feels about me''. ''So what's the problem?'' Ward is still in love with her he's always been, always will be.

　

There's an awkward silence until John sighs and puts a hand to his head. ''You took care of Jeff didn't you?'' Ward holds in the sigh of relief at the change of subject, ''yes sir''. Lying to John is unnatural, foreign and Ward doesn't like it. There's fear in his chest and ice in his veins, if Garrett finds out he isn't telling the truth there will be hell to pay. But instead of being skeptical John just nods and answers his phone that has begun to ring.

　

Grant is about to take a shower when Garrett cries out from the other room and Ward sprints to him, the fear of losing John is stronger than anything he's ever known. Garrett is bent over the couch clutching his side and with mechanical movements because he's done this a hundered times, Ward stablizes John and after a few minutes he's breathing normally again. But he's pale and shaking, a thin layer of sweat on his skin.

　

''I'm going to call Raina and tell her to work''- ''Ward we need to move faster''. John's voice is weak and the hand gripping Grant's shoulder is almost like claws. John's eyes are wide and for a second Grant wonders if he's afraid to die. But then he's shaking of the terror and asking John what he needs to do. ''Go to the lab see if Flowers is anywhere close on the cure. If she's not, motivate her''.

　

John gives Ward an all too familiar smirk, they know exactly what it means. ''Yes sir''. Ward makes sure Garrett is fine and safe enough to leave on his own and then he's getting dressed and slipping a gun into his jeans. With the right amount of pressure, Raina will do whatever they want, John can't wait around forever for a cure. They need to move faster than this, Ward refuses to stand by and let the only father figure he's ever known die.

　

 

 

*

　

''He's such an arrogant ass''. Skye throws back another shot and wipes her mouth with the back of her hand. ''Yeah Ward can be an ass sometimes''. Kebo watches as she orders another shot of tequila, her cheeks are flushed and she keeps looking around the bar they are in as if Grant himself is going to pop out any moment. It was only yesterday that she saw Ward again and Kebo can tell it's taking it's toll.

　

She went months without seeing her husband and now he's just popping up out of nowhere into her life, Kebo wants to tell her Ward isn't doing it on purpose. That to see her is just as painful that he regrets ever lying to her in the first place. But Skye doesn't want to hear that right now. ''I mean he can't just walk into my interrogation and steal my informant''. ''He kind of did''. Skye shakes her head again, ''ass''.

　

For the next hour Skye gets drunk and cries on Kebo's shoulder, cursing Ward and all the years they spent together. She passes out in the cab on the ride to the hotel he's staying in, Kebo carries her over to the bed and covers her up. Sighing and what she and Ward's life has become. He knew and warned Ward that it was going to end up like this, that they were both just going to get hurt in the end.

　

But Grant was too in love too foolish because he thought he could have it all. That Hydra wasn't going to ruin anything with Skye, that if they did come out of the shadows she would understand Ward's part in it all. That he wasn't a true believer, he and John only joined because Shield left Garrett to die. But she didn't and here they are. Kebo falls asleep on the couch after calling Ward who doesn't answer.

　

Skye wakes to a pounding in her head, the room she's in is freezing. Opening an eye she sees a familiar leather jacket on the floor, she's in Kebo's room. They went out for drinks last night, Skye doesn't remember much. May is going to kill her, Shield can't afford for her to be going out and getting drunk, crying over her husband. She's done that too many times already. ''You alive in there?'' ''Barely''.

　

An hour later she's freshly showered and dressed, Kebo has coffee waiting on the kitchen counter. ''You look terrible''. ''I feel terrible''. ''Told you not to drink so much last night''. ''Shut up''.

　

''You ever think about dating?'' Kebo asks her a few minutes later causing Skye to nearly choke on her coffee. ''What?'' He shrugs and refills his ever present silver flask. ''You know going out with another man, having dinner. Dating''. Nope. The thought leaves a bad taste in her mouth. ''No I havent''. Kebo smirks and Skye puts down he rmug. ''Why?'' ''Just wondering''. ''Popeye''- ''Nothing just Ward had a very different answer when I asked him, that's all''.

　

Skye isn't too proud to admit that thinking about Ward being with another woman makes her sick and jealous. ''I can see you're dying to know what he said''. ''Not really''. ''He punched me and didn't speak to me for a week''. Skye almost laughs but let's the coffee burn her throat instead. ''What were you trying to achieve by bringing this topic up? Making me jealous does not mean Ward and I would get back together''.

　

''Honey it would take a bloody miracle for that to happen. But we're getting somewhere, you still care about him''. Skye throws a throw pillow at him and Kebo complains about how he bruises easily for the next hour.

　

By the time Skye is back at the Playground she's still hungover as hell but the Advil is starting to take away the headache. Simmons is in the kitchen and Skye is on aler the second she sees her friend's face. ''Hey is everything okay?'' Jemma turns and her cheeks are tear stained, Skye quickly pulls the other woman into her arms. ''It's Fitz''. ''Is he okay?'' ''I'm just, he's doing so much better and I never thought that would happen''.

　

Skye holds Simmons as she cries into her shoulder, Skye relaxes just a little. Fitz is getting better, that's all anyone has wanted around here. The man in question walks into the kitchen ten minutes later, by then Simmons has composed herself and is chatting away with Skye and Hunter at the table. Will Skye ever stop feeling guilty whenever she sees Fitz? Will they ever get past what Ward has done to them?

　

When Fitz struggles to form a sentence Skye feels that bitterness work it's way into her throat. No. No she will never let Ward get away with it.

　

The target sits in front of her blank and empty, Skye straps on the headphones and grabs the gun. It's cool to the touch, light in her hands. It's become a daily part in Skye's life, another thing she didn't think would happen. She likes having it on her, makes her feel safer more in control. She puts on the protective glasses and pulls the trigger. Hits the mark over and over until her hands are sore and there's sweat on the back of her neck.

　

''Nice''. May compliments and Skye gives her SO a nod. ''I imagined they were all Ward and Garrett''. ''Speaking of, Coulson wants you on the next mission with Hunter''. ''Okay''. Skye wonders if they're taking what Jeff said seriously. About John looking for a Shield agent, it's looking more and more like it might be Skye herself. She forgot to ask Kebo about it, he would probably know. Question of the day though, does Ward?

　

If it was life or death between her and Garrett Skye has her doubts. He would pick John in the end she thinks. Yes he loves her but Grant has proven he just loves John more.

　

Skye suits up for the mission the next evening and wonders how this became her life.

 


	10. I Had All & Then Most of You Some & Now None of You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ward just can't stay away from Skye it seems.

 

_Skye comes down from the shower to find Ward yanking off his tie and throwing it onto the coffee table. He sinks down onto the couch and runs his hands through his hair. She can tell by_

_the stress in his shoulders he's had a bad day, there's also a fresh bottle of whiskey on the table that he's currently pouring into a glass. He takes a sip and rakes both hands into his hair, she can hear him sigh as he pulls off his suit jacket._

_''Rough day at the office?'' She asks him. ''You have no idea''. Skye walks over and starts rubbing his broad shoulders, he sighs, melts into her touch. Leans his head back against the couch cushions and closes his eyes. Skye leans down and kisses his forehead earning a gentle smile. She works his shoulders for twenty minutes until he's basically a puddle beneath her, kisses the space below his ear once she's done._

_Ward hums and she does it again, places another kiss on his neck and another and another. Ward knows what she's doing and grins before grabbing her. Skye squeals as he places her on the couch and kisses her. Pins her below him and she's quick to undo the buttons on his dress shirt, her lips never leaving his. ''Why don't you greet me like this every time I come home?'' He asks, his hand running up her spine._

_Skye has her hands resting on his biceps but doesn't asnwer. Just kisses him slowly and tells him she loves him. Grant doesn't think he'll ever tire of hearing her say that._

_Every time he comes home after that from a mission she's always there with a warm smile and open arms. It's everything Ward has ever wanted._

 

 

*

 

 

　

Skye shakes off the memories in her head and focuses. The flash drive in her pocket feels like it weighs a hundred pounds, Coulson's silence seems so loud in the comms. Missions have become like a habit now. Day after day in between training and hitting the gym, Skye has lost sense of time. Days have turned to weeks once more and soon it's been nearly a month since she and Ward were at the restaurant and he ruined her interrogation.

　

She's doing what she did in the early days, the wake of his betrayal, throwing herself into the work. Being the perfect agent for Shield, whatever and whoever Coulson needs her to be. Today is different though, it's not her first solo mission at all, but it's the first time there is no back up waiting. Bobbi and Hunter are currently in Europe, May is back at the Playground with Coulson, Fitz and Simmons aren't cleared for the field and Mack and Trip are unavaliable.

　

Granted there are more agents around but Skye can handle this. For once she's not sneaking into a Hydra base to steal intel. Turns out Shield has more than one enemy at the moment. A small group similiar to the Rising Tide have managed to get their hands on vital information Coulson needs. Skye has no idea what it is but this mission should be simple. A few guards she can take care of, she can slip in and slip out.

　

Skye leans around the wall and sees the main server room, all she has to do is get her hands on a computer and it's all over. There's only one man inside and Skye shoots him with her ICER, tells Coulson she's hacking in now. It takes five minutes and Skye could high five herself, it was so easy. She's walking back down the hallway to the exit when the sound of heavy boots running across the next hallway reaches her.

　

She only has two options here. One face them head on which won't end well, or two duck inside the storage closet to her left. Turns out someone makes the decision for her. Two arms grab her suddenly and pull her into the closet, one hand around her mouth so she doesn't scream. The light in the closet is dim so it's hard to see, but it's not necessary. She'd recognize the chest pressed against her back anywhere.

　

The hand resting casually on her lower back, the fingers over her lips. She would know Ward anywhere even if she was deaf and blind. ''I'm going to let you go, but if you scream you'll get us both killed and I have no desire to die today. Okay?'' His voice is barely above a whisper warm in her hair, Skye finds herself fighting the urge to lean back into his chest. She's going to blame it on the fact that this is the closest he's been to her body in months.

　

It's just a physical response, a natural reaction. His hands leave her and Skye whirls around gun out waiting for her eyes to adjust to the low lit room. When they do Ward is standing there almost calm as if the gun to his chest does not make him nervous. (It probably doesn't.) His wearing the maroon shirt she got him a few years ago for his birthday, a leather jacket she doesn't recognize. Did he wear it on purpose? Did he know she would be here?

　

''What the hell Ward?'' He holds up his hands, ''I'm just as surprised to see you. Coulson really sent you in here alone?'' She detects anger in his voice, just a smidge but it's there. ''I can handle it''. ''Skye these hackers have their own personal security team, heavily armed''. ''I'm not a damsal in distress''. ''I didn't say you were. You're outnumbered it's fact''.

　

The gun doesn't falter it's aim still true to his chest. ''So what are you going to do? Kidnap me again? It didn't exactly end well for you last time''. Grant winces, ''no. Right now there's six gaurds patrolling the hallway, give it a few seconds and we'll take them out. We only have a two minute window before they find out we're here''. Skye scoffs, ''and you expect me to trust you? No way''. ''Skye''-

　

''You've given me no reason to trust you. God why are you even here? Why do you keep showing up? Can't you just leave me alone?'' Skye wasn't aware how desperate she was for that until the words were out of her mouth. Once more she longs for the days Grant was very far away from her, a shadow, a dream, someone she didn't have to face only think about. His eyes are sad but he does not respond.

　

The thing is sometimes Ward still sees Skye. Like a flash and then she's gone, doesn't matter where he is. She'll round the corner at a safe house or a dusty building he's in for a mission, and then disappear in a tangle of long brown hair. Or on the edges of sleep first thing in the morning he'll feel her warmth pressed against him in bed, her scent overpowering the pillows. Choking him.

　

A woman in a crowd sometimes has her smile, if the night is quiet he can just make out her laugh far away. Perhaps he is going insane. Because she's standing in front of him now with her hair up strands have broken away from the hair tie and fall across her cheeks. Her breathing is labored and he can't tell why, her skin is flushed but the gun aimed for his heart is steady. Her hands are not shaking, her eyes seem clear.

　

He wonders if it really came down to it, if she'd really shoot him. Ward also wonders if he would let her, would he put up a fight? Grant figured Shield would be after this team of hackers but with the man power they have he assumed Coulson would send Trip or Bobbi. Not Skye and especially not alone. What the hell was Phil thinking? What if she's hurt because of this mission, or worse?

　

What would have happened if Ward wasn't here? Skye was right she's not a damsal in distress but she's sadly outnumbered, and if he saw her so easily in the middle of the hallway, someone else had to as well. She's also right that he's given her no reason to trust him, hell he doesn't blame her at all. So he takes a deep breath and counts down, they can't hide in this closet forever.

　

''You're right you shouldn't trust me. But Skye I swear I'm going to get you out of here alive, if you don't believe me that's fine. I'm not going to let anything happen to you''. He watches as she wrestles with this, her free hand grazes over her back pocket where he assumes she's stored the flash drive. Which Garrett needs, there's information on a new drug that could help him, it's just a coincidence these hackers were the ones that stumbled upon it.

　

So he can't leave here without it, John is getting worse each passing day. Only problem is how to get it from her. He's formulating a plan when Skye clenches her jaw and holsters the gun to her hip. It hasn't escaped his notice that she has yet to tell Coulson he's here either, briefly wonders why that is. ''You try and go out there alone you'll be killed''. He isn't about to let that happen, he'll follow her anyway even if she refuses his help.

　

She sighs, ''this doesn't mean anything Ward''. ''Okay''. He watches her lick her lips which means she's thinking it over, shifts her weight from her right leg to the left. He's about to say something when his phone vibrates softly, he doesn't even have to look at the caller ID to know who it is. ''What?'' The other voice on the line scoffs, ''rude way to answer the phone super spy''. ''I'm kind of busy right now Kebo''.

　

Skye's face lights up as it always does when Kebo is around. ''Did you bring any snacks?'' ''What?'' Grant pinches the bridge of his nose as Kebo continues. ''See I'm sitting here staking the place out making sure you don't die and I have no snacks. No pretzels or Cheetos also I drank everything on my person''. ''You literally called me in the middle of a mission because you're hungry?'' He sees Skye smirk.

　

''Come on boss it's not the worse thing I've done while you're on a mission''. He's right and Ward sighs in defeat. ''I'll get you tacos after this''. ''See? That wasn't so hard. Why do you sound weird?'' ''I'm in a closet trying not to be heard you idiot''. ''No it's something else. Oh god. Oh no is Skye there with you?'' Kebo starts laughing loudly and Ward has to cover the phone until he's done. ''Let me talk to her''. ''No''. ''Ward''- ''We don't have time for this''.

　

He hangs up and takes a gun out of the back of his jeans, Skye eyes it carefully. ''Open the door on the count of three''. Something flashes in her eyes and then it's gone, Ward can tell she's starting to slip into fight mode. She has no choice but to trust him and he can tell she can't stand it. Skye nods her hand on the doorknob, three seconds later it's open and Ward fires at the nearest guard.

　

Grant has one eye on the enemy before him and the other on Skye, if he had a moment to pause he would. This is a side of Skye he's never seen before. The Calvary is training her in hand to hand combat beautifully. She doesn't miss a mark all her blows are straight and true, she knows exactly what she's doing. Now is the wrong time for a spark of heat to travel up his spine but it does and Ward is nearly punched in the jaw.

　

An alarm goes off a few minutes later and more men come into the hallway, Ward braces himself. Skye fires her ICER at a few and ducks behind one of the pillars as they return fire. That familiar urge to protect her is strong, it takes all of Ward's self control not to step in front of her and take on all these men by himself. Which he very well could but he doesn't want to risk Skye screaming at him again.

　

They're nearing the exit ten minutes later, Skye's lip is bleeding but she's otherwise unharmed. Ward's left eye already has a bruise beginning to bloom but he's fine too. It takes a second for Grant to realize once they've stepped outside that there isn't an extraction team waiting for Skye. She's surprised as well and asks Coulson if there's a problem. If she's angry with Grant sticking close to her side, she doesn't voice it.

　

He's watching the area carefully gun out, the getaway car Kebo is waiting in is very far away, he's about to offer it to Skye when he sees a shadow pass beside them. Without thinking Ward throws Skye to the ground ignoring her muffled protest as the gunfire begins again. It's over just as quickly and he tries not to think of Skye below him, her face inches from his own. Her brown eyes the ones he's looked into a hundred times are wide and watering.

　

Grant knows he should push himself away, let her go. He doesn't have a second to pause there could be more guards coming, he knows this. But still he hovers above her and she's not saying anything just breathing, he can feel her ribs. ''Skye!'' But it's not his voice that calls out, it's Kebo's. Ward only has time for the back of his neck to tingle and he sees the gun aiming for the side of her head.

　

He doesn't even have to think about it. Just rolls over so his back is shielding her and the bullet meant to end her life strikes him instead. It sinks into the top of his shoulder blade, he's been shot dozens of times but it never fails to sting of course. Another shot goes out but it's Kebo taking out the man who just tried to kill them. Ward doesn't hear Skye's sharp intake of breath, nor feel her hands that suddenly cup his face.

　

Grant is only aware of the smell of vanilla and the frantic look in her eyes. There's a flurry of movement and Kebo is there helping him stand, everything is becoming hazy. ''Kebo I think they''- Is the last thing Ward says before it all turns black.

　


	11. I Can't Blame Myself for Getting Lost Inside the Promise Of You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is Skye afraid of losing Ward?
> 
> And Kebo finally has a much needed conversation with Skye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're still reading this, thank you. Feel free to leave a comment they truly give me more inspiration to write.
> 
> I've hit several rough patches in my writing these last couple months and if you're still reading my work it's very much appreciated. I'm not feeling very confident these days.
> 
> Enjoy!

 

The bullet was laced with posion. Skye hears the words clearly as they come out of the doctor's mouth, she also hears Kebo curse and kick something nearby. A chair maybe, or the crappy TV stand in the middle of the living room. She can still feel the weight of Ward against her like she had so many times before, see his face when he leaned back after taking the bullet for her. His eyes were impassive, didn't even flinch.

　

Which she supposes getting shot probably doesn't faze him anymore. Grant could be dead right now, that's the only thought that keeps pushing and crashing inside her brain over and over again. A few months ago she would have said she wanted that, but now she realizes that's just the anger talking. After everything he's done Skye can't honestly say she wants him dead. Should he pay for his crimes? Yes.

　

But should he die for them? No. If Kebo's safe house was farther away and the doctor couldn't get here when he did, Ward would most definitely be gone. No longer breathing or smiling, his heart long cold. It puts a lump in Skye's throat that she can't shake off. Seeing him lying there in a bed that's too small, an old faded quilt covering him from the waist down. Sweat trickling down his face, his bare chest flushed.

　

She's never seen him like this. In the past if he came home with an injury it was always cleaned and wrapped because Simmons would patch him up. The doctor is telling Kebo he's provided an antidote and Grant should be fully recovered in a few days. Kebo pays him and then it's just the three of them. The quiet is very very loud, Skye feels like the walls are staring to close in when Kebo speaks up. ''You hungry?''

　

Skye shakes her head, she couldn't eat anything if she tried. Nausea is creeping into the back of her throat, her stomach is a tight bundle of nerves. ''Are you going to cry? If you do can you do it outside? Because if you start crying so will I and I have no desire to do that today''. Her legs won't obey they won't move. They won't carry her to the kitchen where Kebo is, instead they are rooted to the spot a few feet away from Ward's bedside.

　

_''You're right you shouldn't trust me. But Skye I swear I'm going to get you out of here alive, if you don't believe me that's fine. I'm not going to let anything happen to you''._

　

His words seem heavy now. They sink into her chest, she remembers the honest look in his eyes. God where was that attitude when Shield fell? Not for the first time Skye wonders why he didn't pick her in the end, it's still unsettling. ''It's okay to be afraid Skye. I'm not Phil Coulson or Melinda May, I'm not going to punish you for not wanting Ward to die''. Kebo says softly, she glances over to find him pouring tequila in a shot glass.

　

Seems like that unspoken rule of never talking about Grant is gone now. Skye licks her lips, crosses her arms and tries to move again but nothing happens. ''If you're going to ask why he took that shot for you I''- ''I wasn't going to, I know why''. Because he loves her. She's always believed that, that his love wasn't a lie even if so many other things were. Maybe because he failed to protect her when Shield fell he thought he could start now.

　

''Damn fool''. Kebo mutter after taking the shot, shakes his head in Ward's direction. ''What I want to know is how a team of hackers got their security detail bullets like that. It's odd''. It's then Skye remembers she's a Shield agent and searches frantically for her phone but it's nowwhere to be found. She might have dropped it helping Kebo drag Ward to the car earlier. ''Let me see your phone''.

　

Kebo tosses it to her and Skye quickly dials Coulson's number but there's no answer. She tries May next and the other woman's calm cool tone has Skye relaxing just a tad. ''Skye where are you? Are you alright?'' ''Yeah I'm fine, ran into a little problem but I'm handling it''. ''Did you get the drive?'' ''Yes''. ''Good, get back here when you can''. ''Roger that''. May hangs up and Skye gives the phone back to Kebo who is raising an eyebrow.

　

''Are you just going to ignore the fact that your beloved Director of Shield didn't send an extraction team for you?'' There's a moan from Ward that has them snapping to attention, the other man shifts on his back and then is still again. Skye waits a few seconds, questioning again why she's still here, and then turns to Kebo. ''I would have been just fine without an extraction team, Coulson knows that''.

　

''Skye honey I love you but no you would not have been fine. You'd either of been shot and killed if Ward wasn't there or captured. Those hackers are not too fond of Shield agents. Look I get that you're on the way to becoming the next Melinda May or whatever but those bullets are no joke''. He gestures to Grant who's eyes flutter but stay closed. Skye finds herself moving closer, an old habit of worry to see if he needs anything.

　

She's aware of Kebo's phone ringing but doesn't pay attention to the conversation. Just watches Grant's chest rise and fall, still can't give a reason why she's here. Skye has no reason to linger she shouldn't care if Ward lives or dies. She should actually call May back and tell her Ward is weak, if they want to arrest him they need to do it now. But she doesn't move. Just stands there fighting the hands that long to hold his.

　

Grant's hair is a little longer in the front, his dark stubble more prominent. She's standing there transfixed by his arms that held her so many times, he's bigger than she's used to. Skye didn't think that was possible, he's always been in excellent shape but in their time apart he's grown even more muscular. His arms and shoulders are bulkier those abs- Kebo throwing the phone onto the counter has Skye coming back to reality.

　

Kebo pours two more shots before looking up at her. ''Something wrong?'' Just by the look on his face Skye knows that it had to of been John Garrett on the phone. Wondering where his Golden Boy went no doubt. ''You know Skye that's one of the reasons I like you so much, you wear your emotions all over that pretty face. Yeah that was the devil himself calling for Ward, we've been gone too long''.

　

''What did you tell him?'' There's a bitterness in the back of her throat, Garrett is always going to be a touchy subject. ''The truth, just omitted the part about you''. Skye glances over to Ward who turns over onto his shoulder, winces and the rests on his back again. ''How long is he going to be out?'' ''Doc said a few hours at most. If you're thinking true love's kiss is going to wake him up by all means try it out''.

　

Skye takes the nearest object which happens to be a large pillow and chunks it at Kebo. Who dodges it easily and laughs. ''I was joking''. ''No you weren't''. ''Alright I cave, no I wasn't. You know he's still in love with you''. ''Can you not''- ''And you love him. It's a tragedy really''. Skye takes a deep breath, having no desire to cry with Kebo and a bottle of alcohol in her hand again. ''I will never forgive him Kebo''.

　

''And you have every right. But there's a difference, you don't know why he is the way that he is. You don't know what Garrett has done to him''. ''Kebo''- ''You know I wanted to punch Ward in the teeth when he went back to John, left you. But the poor fool doesn't know any better, John brain washed him''. This is new information, surprise is all over Skye's cheeks, ''what?'' She's heard of Hydra brain washing people, is that what happened to her husband?

　

''Wow okay shit not the in way that you're thinking. Take a seat I'm going to tell you a story''. So she does, isn't expecting everything Kebo tells her. She knew that Ward was sent to a Juvenile Detention center when he was teen for setting his family's home on fire, she never really blamed him for that one, they were monsters after all. What she didn't know is that John Garrett broke him out.

　

Abandoned him all alone in the woods, left him there for five years with only a dog as company. (Whom he tried to make Grant shoot later on but he couldn't and John pulled the trigger for him.) She didn't know Garrett was using Ward as a spy all these long years to save his life, trained him into being the perfect solider. There's something special about Grant, how he can mold himself into someone else entirely in less than a second. And John saw that.

　

Apparently the only reason Garrett and Ward were in Hydra was because John was dying, which she already knew. She just didn't know Hydra was a last effort for Garrett, and it makes sense that Ward would only follow. After an hour she realizes Kebo was right, Garrett did brainwash Ward, gaslighted him. Maybe she was wrong maybe Shield is too, maybe not everything Ward did was hia fault.

　

''Garrett hits him''. The floor falls out from under Skye, ''what?'' ''There are several ways to punish Ward and Garrett uses them all, but yeah if Ward fails which is rare, Garrett doesn't like it. Or if a cover calls for it and Ward has to be injured, John takes pleasure in that, punching him''. Kebo shudders and so does Skye, tastes bile in the back of her throat. Kebo is many things but a liar is not one. He's telling the truth about all of this.

　

''Don't tell him I told you any of this. He'll kill me''. Kebo nods over to Ward who's still out. Her eyes are heavy she can hardly see, it takes a second for Skye to realize she's crying. Hands are shaking, it's too it's too much all of this everything. Yesterday she still saw Ward as a monster, a sad excuse for a man. But now? It's confusing. ''Did Garrett hurt him after''- ''He found out about you? Do you really want to know?''

　

Kebo looks distraught, he keeps flinching each time he pins his gaze on Ward. ''Look I should have told you all this sooner, actually Grant should have. But he doesn't understand, he thinks John's behavior is normal that he deserves it. He thinks everything he's done is by his own free will but that's not the case''. If May were here Skye knows what her SO would say, what Coulson would as well.

　

That Garrett isn't the one who pulled the trigger, that Ward always had a choice. But did he? Did he really? Maybe he was too afriad of Garrett, too loyal to do anything other than what John told him. Maybe he thinks Garrett is some sort of savior, that he owes him. For the first time in months Skye finds herself not agreeing with May or Phil on the subject of Ward. There's doubt now in the corners of her mind.

　

''I hoped that when it came down to it Grant would finally see John for what he is, but sadly that didn't happen''. Kebo pours her a shot and she downs it quickly. ''Now I can only wait for him to finally die. But a part of me doesn't want that to happen because I know Ward isn't going to take it well. He doesn't know who he is without John, he can't function without orders. It's all he knows. And I'll always hate Garrett for what he's done to that man''.

　

Skye buries her face in her hands and Kebo puts a hand on her back. ''You should probably go yeah? Don't want Shield to get suspicious. I'll call you when he's awake, if you want''. They both look at the man in bed, breathing evenly. He's no longer sweating, skin is clear. ''I don't know what to do. He lied to me, tried to kill my friends''. ''I'm aware. But you could give him the benefit of the doubt?''

　

She leaves the table to hover over Ward, he's so different yet the same person she met so many years ago. What does she feel about him now? She can't forgive him and yes she's still angry, but maybe he isn't the monster they all swear he is. She's about to turn to the front door when his eyes open. Cloudy hazel but still breath taking. ''Skye''. His voice is hoarse and cracks a little. ''You're here''.

　

Her fingers twitch, she wants to reassure him for some reason. She finds herself crying instead, standing in front of someone who's damaged and has no idea. ''I'm okay Skye. You're safe, now I'm okay''. He gives her watery smile and then his eyes close again. ''I'll take care of him. Go''. Kebo adjusts the pillow surrounding Grant, adds other blanket because he has started shaking. ''I'll call you if anything changes''.

　

Skye squeezes his arm, ''thank you''. Kebo gives her a wink and then she's gone. Later that night after a rather disappointing brief with Coulson, she lost the flashdrive. Which Skye has no idea how because it was secure in her back pocket, maybe it fell out somewhere between the car and Kebo's safe house. Fitz and Simmons had a movie night in the lounge which made her feel a little better but not much.

　

She's in her bunk laptop on, Skye's fingers hover over her keyboard. Does she really want to do this? Coulson wasn't shy about this file, in fact whoever wanted to read it was more than welcome. But Skye never has. Never had a reason to until now. Grant Ward's file stares back at her it seems like something dangerous. A secret she shouldn't be diving into. After a few minutes of hesitation she does.

　

Hours later she's sobbing into her sheets wishing she wouldn't have flushed her wedding rings down a toliet.

　

 


	12. You Know the Good Die Young But So Did This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kebo watches over Ward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU all for such beautiful comments on the last chapter.
> 
> I really really needed that, you are all so lovely and I'm so glad you love these stories. 
> 
> This chapter was fun to write, I love writing scenes with Ward and Kebo, it also took a turn at the end.

 

 

''You son of bitch''. Kebo walks out of the bathroom to find Ward sitting on the couch with a small silver device in his hands. Grant doesn't look sheepish at being caught, in fact he's wearing his Specialist mask, void of emotion. ''Don't start Kebo I really don't want to hear it''. Grant is pale and still shaking but he seems otherwise fine, not at all like he was posioned a few hours ago. It takes a second for Kebo to move closer and see the flash drive in Ward's hands.

　

The one that was in Skye's back pocket, the one both Coulson and Garrett want. ''How in the hell did you get that?'' Kebo really shouldn't be surprised but he is. Ward just smirks at him then winces at the movement. ''Boss how did you get that from her? When? I thought you were dead half the time after you were shot''. ''Kebo you're always doubting my skills''. ''It's not funny Grant''.

　

Ward glances around the house for Skye once more like she's going to appear out of thin air. He's been awake for a few minutes but she's gone. Of course she is. Why did he expect her to stay? Because of the fear he saw in her eyes after he was shot? The rest is hazy but he recalls her hands smooth on his face, can remember bits and pieces of her and Kebo's conversation in this room when they thought he was still passed out.

　

''Oh my god please tell me you did not get shot on purpose just to get that drive? Tell me you didn't nearly die for John again? He's not worth it''. ''Kebo shut up''. Ward pinches the bridge of his nose, a headache starting to form. ''You did, didn't you? Bloody moron''. Grant watches his friend pace the room hands on his hips, glaring at him. ''I did not get shot on purpose. That guard was going to kill Skye I did what I had to''.

　

''So getting the drive was just a bonus''. Grant looks at the flash drive in his hands, ''yeah''. ''Idiot''. ''John sent me to get this, I can't let him down again''. The thought of disappointing his mentor again makes Grant sick to his stomach. Kebo doesn't respond just pulls out his phone. ''Did John call?'' ''Yeah''. ''What did you tell him?'' ''That you were shot and we're laying low for a while''.

　

Grant knows better than to assume John was worried about him, not that he has to be. Ward has survived worse. ''Those men in the''- ''Have already been taken care of''. Kebo mutters not looking away from the screen. ''I sent in a team after the doctor said you'd be fine. It's all worked out, all you have to do is keep your ass on that couch for the next ten hours''. That's not going to happen and they both know it.

　

''She's going to be pissed at you''. Ward puts the drive in the pocket of his leather jacket. ''Lately Skye is always mad at me''. ''Becauase you're an idiot who makes the wrong choices''. Kebo pulls up a chair on the opposite side of Ward, switches on the TV. ''How are you feeling boss?'' Ward flexes his shoulders, ''like I got shot''. Kebo rolls his eyes, ''I'm so happy you pursued a career in the spy business and not comedy''.

　

Ward smiles and sits farther up the couch he's sore but it's not terrible. There's a bottle of pain pills on the night stand and he downs a few. They are quiet for a moment until Kebo grabs a bottle of scotch and rests it by Ward's foot. ''You had no right to tell Skye any of those things''. ''Ah, there it is''. Kebo mutters while taking a large sip from the bottle. ''I thought you were over here dying, my bad''.

　

John didn't brain wash him, he saved him. Everything he's done for these long years is help the man who saved him from a hell. If it weren't for John Ward would be locked up still or dead. Like he told Raina, he owes John everything. Kebo told Skye his version of the story, not what really happened. Grant is fully aware how his friend views his only father figure, but he just doesn't understand no one does.

　

''Boss you can sit there and be mad at me all you want but Skye for once actually listened when it came to you this time. With this new information who knows she might come around sooner than you think. Feel free to say you're welcome at any time''. Quicker than he should be able to, Ward shoves Kebo's shoulder who falls out of the chair but does manage to keep a steady hold on the scotch.

　

''I'm going to let that pass because you're hurt. God you're such an ass sometimes''. Kebo straightens his shirt, huffs and looks at Grant who's frowning. ''Skye doesn't care about anything Kebo, I'm not going to beg for her forgiveness, I don't want it. She hates me''. But Kebo is shaking his head again and Ward wants to hit him all over again. ''You don't see what I do boss. Skye doesn't hate you, she's still in love with you''.

　

''No she's not''. ''You didn't see how terrified the poor lamb was when you were shot. She thought you were going to die, you didn't see how she looked at you. I told her about your twisted past with Garrett because she deserved to know that not everything you've done was your fault. That John is a monster but you aren't''. 'You don't know what you're talking about''. ''You should of told her Grant, a long time ago''.

　

Kebo knows that he and Ward share a difference of opinion when it comes to Johh, Grant doesn't believe he was brain washed. Like he told Skye, Ward thinks his relationship with the older man is normal. That it's not twisted or toxic, but it is it so is. Kebo has been slowly trying to make Ward see that but he can't. Maybe now that Skye knows she can convince him otherwise. John isn't a good man, that he's bad news and doesn't deserve Ward.

　

That he took an abused vulnerable boy and made him into a weapon. A kid who didn't know any better and left him out in the woods, no normal good person does that. ''God Kebo for once can you stay out of it?'' Ward runs a hand down his face the headache starting to throb. ''I'm just trying to help''. ''Don't need it''. ''Yes you do. You'd die without me boss''. Ward throws his head back against the pillows and tunes him out, the TV as well.

　

He's nearly asleep again when Kebo's phone rings. Ward opens his eyes his spine tingling with nerves as Kebo answers. The conversation lasts thirty seconds but he knows without a doubt it's John. Without a word as soon as Kebo hangs up Ward throws the flash drive at him, it'll be faster if Kebo delivers it. Grant still isn't a one hundred percent and John has been waiting long enough.

　

''If you think I'm going to leave you unprotected and take this to Garrett, those pills were stronger than I thought''. Ward rolls his eyes. ''Can you just do it? I can take care of myself''. For a moment Kebo honestly thinks of just throwing the drive in the lake on his way out. But that would mean he'd have to run away from John and his Hydra forces, plus Ward would most definitely suffer if he did that.

　

''Dear god I hate you so much sometimes boss''. ''Feeling is mutual''. Kebo flicks him off, puts on a jacket and slips the drive in his pocket. ''I'll be back by tomorrow morning, you need anything while I'm out?'' ''Nope''. Kebo takes a gun and puts it on the night stand, heads to the door. ''Try not to get arrested or anything while I'm gone''. ''No promises''. ''Keep it up with jokes mate, really they're killer''.

　

Ward is still laughing by the time Kebo shuts the door and is on the way to his car.

　

Sleep takes it's hold once more by the time Ward wakes it's dark out. With a large amount of effort he manages to take a shower, clean the wound in his shoulder and dress it with fresh gauze. He's nearly sweating by the time he makes it back to bed, his body sore and aching. He's been posioned before and it's never a fun time. Kebo's pantry is stocked full and Ward makes soup and slips bread into the toaster oven.

　

He's watching an old silent film eating, when a soft knock at the door sounds. Grant takes the gun in one hand just in case, crosses the room and peeks through the curtains. Skye is standing there on the porch in one of his old Shield Academy sweatshirts, he can tell by the hole in the sleeve, her eyes are red like she's been crying. Of course he opens the door. Of course he asks if she's alright and would she like to come in.

　

''Are you okay?'' Her voice is hoarse and she clears it quickly. The question takes him by surprise since when does she care if he's okay? What is she doing here? He doesn't put down the gun. Skye has her hands in the back pockets of her jeans, closes the front door and looks around the living room. ''Did you need something?'' His wife turns to look at him with sadness so heavy in her eyes it puts a lump in his own throat.

　

He doesn't need her pity though, and if that's why she's here she can go ahead and walk right back out. They stare at each other for a long moment until Skye walks over to the bottle of scotch Kebo left behind, takes a huge gulp. ''I don't know what I'm doing here. I just, I think I just wanted to be sure you were okay''. She's going to blame it on an old habit, worrying about him. Ward is going to blame it on the fact Kebo told her about his history with Garrett.

　

That she for some reason feels sorry for him even though she shouldn't. John saved him, made him who he is today. ''So are you okay?'' He can read her well, she's nervous, uncomfortable. Like she isn't sure how to be civil with him, isn't sure what to say if it's not insults or hate coming out of her mouth. ''Yeah''. He isn't entirely sure how to act around her either. ''Okay. Good that's good''.

　

Skye tucks a piece of hair behind her hair and rocks on her feet. ''Kebo was supposed to call me when you woke up but he didn't. I thought something happened''. Oh. She came all this way because she was worried. Ward is surprised again, it has to be because she thinks he's some kind of victim, that he isn't in control of his own choices. Like he's some sad brain washed sap who can't make decisions for himself.

　

Ward goes with the ripping off the band-aid technique, ''look what Kebo told you wasn't entirely true''. ''I don't care''. Ward has no time to react to anything because Skye is suddenly standing in front of him. She smells the same as she always has, vanilla warm and soft. Her small hands rest on his arms it's like she's robbed him of speech of any movements. What is she playing at? What's happening?

　

He doesn't dare tell her to get away, to take her hands off him. He's starved for her touch. ''This doesn't change anything Ward''. Then she's kissing him and every thought every feeling flies out of his brain. Nothing matters but her lips demanding rough against his own, her hands curled into fists against the skin of his biceps. He forgets how to breathe. Skye becomes the center point of everything, his life she's before everything.

　

Let's be honest, she never really left that position anyway.

　

 


	13. We're Not Lovers We're Just Strangers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kebo is most definitely going to freak out when he learns what happened between Skye and Ward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For now it seems (fingers crossed) the writers block has passed. 
> 
> Thank you for reading!

 

 

_''Don't. Don't love me. Just treat me like some random girl you picked up in a bar''._

_''I will never forgive you''. ''Not asking you to''._

　

_''This doesn't change anything, I hate you''. ''And you have every right to''._

_''What do you want Ward?'' His brown eyes stare into her's, her lips are parted she's breathing heavy beneath him. The feel of her skin against his is distracting. Like he's finally made it back to the home he belongs to._

_''What I've always wanted Skye. You''._

　

 

 

*

　

Skye wakes to slow careful breathing beside her. The feel of ribs against her back as they move, a hand resting on her hip fingers slightly running back and forth along the skin there. It takes her a moment to remember what happened, who's couch she's lying naked on. The person wrapped around her like he never left it feels so right so complete, almost as if these long months of separation were just a bad dream.

　

A pause in their lives and now someone wants them to press play again. The lights are off, small rays of sunshine filter through the curtains under the back door, the house is quiet the only sounds are her and Ward's breathing. She knows he knows she's awake but Skye can't find it in herself to face him yet. Yesterday after not receiving a phone call from Kebo she thought something terrible happened.

　

Kebo wasn't answering his phone and she even went as far to find out Ward's new number but he did not answer either. In full panic because she may be angry with him still but she doesn't want him dead, Skye rushed out of the Playground dropping Ward's file on the floor mat of her car and came straight here. So to see her husband alive and well after she thought the worst, well Skye just reacted.

　

There's a bad feeling in her stomach that says Ward might think this means she forgives him, that she wants to get back together. But she doesn't. There's more to the story with Grant than she originally thought yes, but that does not mean he's excused for all the horrible acts he's committed. However Skye can't deny how much she's missed him, lying here with the couch cushions smelling like him.

　

The taste of him still heavy on her lips her skin brushing his when she shifts slightly. God what the hell did she do? Ward is the enemy she should be arresting him not snuggling back into his side attempting to fall back asleep. ''You're thinking too loud''. He whispers causing her to jump. It's been a long time since she slept next to anyone. The couch is far too small for both of them but neither makes a move to get up.

　

Skye is waiting for the familiar bitterness to creep back inside at the sound of his voice. The hatred to sting her skin like acid, for her words to wound him like they have these past few months, for her body to get up and leave this house never looking back. To hurt Ward in every way possible, but it never comes. Instead she allows him to wrap his arms around her, bury his face in her neck.

　

She's tracing a scar on the back of his hand when finally she turns around. Ward raises his head and really she's seen this before too many times to count. His sleep mused hair, the intensity of his gaze as he watches her. Now would have been the time he'd smile and kiss her good morning, they'd be late for work because they simply can't keep their hands off each other. Oh how times have changed.

　

If she could go back in time and tell her former self all the misery waiting if she married Ward, if she went back to the night they met, would Skye tell herself not to do it? To turn around and go back to Miles, forget about the Shield agent who would love her to pieces? Skye looks at him now so different from the man six years ago yet still the same. Back in his arms all feels right in the world she doesn't want to leave.

　

She can't remember placing her hands on his chest but there they are and Ward is smiling down at her. She should be demanding he put his hands behind his back, not leaning up to meet his kiss. Not straddling his hips moving her hair out of the way, kissing him as if she's been dying all this time and he's brought her back to life. Skye tells herself to shut up and shivers when Ward runs his hands down her bare back.

　

Skye actually forgot about his injury. Ward sure as hell acted as if it didn't bother him but a few hours later she sees him wince as she's falling back asleep. Reminding her of the bullet he took for her, if it wasn't for him she'd be dead. And if it wasn't for Kebo scrambling around to get a doctor Grant would be dead right now. ''I'm fine''. He says sitting up and Skye follows. ''No you aren't''. She spies a bottle of pills on the floor and tosses them to him.

　

Both he and Skye are waiting for the reality of the situation to come rushing in, for her to yell and run out of here. It hasn't happened yet but Ward won't get his hopes up. She's looking at him now with affection in her face it throws him, Skye hasn't looked at him like that in a long time. They should talk about it, why she's here what this means. He knows she will never forgive him that she'll never share her life with him again.

　

''You took a bullet for me''. She says quietly, sitting up and wrapping a blanket around her body. ''Yeah''. Skye without even thinking about it places her hand on top of his. ''You could have died Ward''. He rolls his eyes, ''if I can count on Kebo for one thing it's to make sure I don't die''. ''It's not funny''. ''I'm not joking. Skye that shot was aimed to kill, I wasn't going to let that happen. I'd do it again if I had to''.

　

Skye isn't sure how to respond to that. God what the hell is she doing here? She should being doing two things, calling May for backup and putting cuffs on Ward. But instead she's looking over her shoulder at him and he's staring up at her in that way of his. It's one he's perfected over the past six years that never fails to leave her breathless. ''Stop looking at me like that''. He grins like this is a normal morning.

　

As if nothing has changed.

　

Before he can ruin whatever moment this is Skye finds herself kissing him again, is about to ask if this is okay because he's injured (a little late for that anyway) and they're lost in each other again. Ward wakes when Skye's breathing changes, it shifts and he knows she's awake. He isn't stupid, she came here because she thought he was dead. It's understandable, he isn't about to take one second for granted though.

　

His wife in in his arms again he couldn't ask for anything more, six months ago if you told him this would happen Ward would have laughed. It may be brief it would probably never happen again, Skye is impulsive and it's only a matter of time before she's gone again. But for now he's content to lie here next to her and kiss her skin, those are limited. He's missed her. Not just her body but everything about her.

　

Her smile the way her nose crinkles when she laughs, the way she says his name. He's missed her snark, no one has ever gotten under his skin the way Skye has. Ward is about to brush her hair back because it's getting in her eyes something she's always hated, when he feels moisture on his arm. Then he feels her shoulders stiffen like she's trying to hold them in place. She's crying, it breaks something in him.

　

Skye is crying over him again, he pulls away from her and she sits up quickly. Ward feels awful so worried that he hurt her somehow but she turns to him her eyes puffy. ''I read your file''. That wasn't what he was expecting to hear at all. Why is she upset about that? She already knows everything inside it, his horrible family, his skill set at Shield. ''Skye''- ''Your family was terrible to you and you think John Garrett saved you.

　

But he didn't. He just threw you into another hell, Ward he isn't a savior''. Her words burn and he rises from the couch, throws a pair of jeans on. ''Whatever Kebo told you he doesn't know the whole story. You don't know anything''. Skye stands and slips on his old Academy sweatshirt again. ''So tell me. Grant why the hell are you doing all of this? Because Garrett is dying? You should let him''. ''God you sound like Kebo''.

　

He's angry suddenly, where the hell was this attitude all those months ago when Shield first fell? Did all it take was reading his file and a misguided conversation with Kebo and she's jumping on the wagon that he's brain washed? Poor little Grant Ward who can't fight his own monsters. If she feels sorry for him he doesn't need it. ''Look whatever twisted history you have with Garrett, I didn't see it before.

　

I wasn't ready to listen, I still hate you I can't forgive you. But maybe this wasn't all your fault''. Ward stares at his wife as she wipes her face, brushes her hands against her bare legs. It distracts him only for a moment then the anger is back. ''We're not discussing John''. ''Why not?'' ''Because Kebo has no idea what the hell he's talking about. Everything I did good and bad I did of my own free will. I'm not brain washed I'm not a vitim''.

　

''I didn't say you''- ''We're not having this conversation Skye. If that's all you wanted you can go ahead and leave''. ''Wow. You're really kicking me out?'' ''If you want to feel sorry for me then yes''. Skye chews on her lip hands on her hips and Ward stares right back at her. ''This was a mistake''. She says finally, gathering her underwear from the floor. For a moment the fury fresh in his chest Ward agrees with her. She shouldn't of come here.

　

But then he nearly says this is the opportunity to try and fix their marriage, closes his mouth though because just like last time it probably won't go over well. This was nothing more than Skye thinking he was dead and feeling sorry for him, it was just sex he knew that. Doesn't make it hurt any less when she's looking for her jeans. Skye is about to put on the jeans when the front door flies open and suddenly Ward is in front of her with his gun out.

　

''Jesus christ Ward it's me! Get the damn gun out of my face you crazy person. What are you doing awake anyway? It's two in the morning are you in pain?'' Ward sighs and puts the gun away, is just waiting for the inevitable freak out that is about to happen. ''Nope''. Skye makes a noise and Kebo takes a sip from his ever present flask before raising an eyebrow at Grant. ''Did you kidnap someone while I was gone?

　

Dammit Ward I told you to stay in bed you stubborn piece of''- Skye leans around Ward's back and Kebo chokes on the alcohol in his mouth. ''Why does everything good happen when I'm gone?'' Skye puts the rest of her clothes on while Kebo paces the floor yelling at the two of them to get their shit together. ''The last time I checked you wanted nothing to do with him Skye''.

　

Ward doesn't miss the way she's refusing to meet his eyes, how she's silent to Kebo's tantrum. When she moves to the front door Grant finds it hard to breathe, but he doesn't stop her either. Kebo does though his hand on her arm, ''you know you always run from your problems Cupcake, it's an unattractive flaw''. ''Let her go Kebo''. ''But Ward''- ''Now''. At Grant's tone Kebo obeys and Skye runs out of the house like it's on fire.

　

''Go after her you bloody moron''. Grant doesn't move. Just stands there frozen. What the hell just happened?

　


	14. You Know the Truth Hurts But Secrets Kill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A mission ends in a way neither Skye or Grant were prepared for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been brought to my attention several times that I should put space between the dialogue, so it's easier to understand who's speaking and when.
> 
> When I first started writing on this website I had no clue what I was doing, eventually just putting it all in several paragraphs without breaking the conversations up became habit.
> 
> So twenty plus fics later, right in the middle of this story, I'm giving it a try. 
> 
> If it's too confusing (or makes this fic easier to read) I'd love to hear any kind of feedback.
> 
> If the chapters are better the other way (dialogue not separated, everything in paragraphs then I'll change it back.)
> 
> Anyway enjoy! I loved this one.

 

''I can't believe you had sex on my couch''.

Ward looks out the window into the backyard and ignores Kebo. ''I mean there was a perfectly good bed that I don't use a few feet away. But no you two just had to defile the one thing I sleep on. Why was Skye even here anyway?''

Grant takes a sip of coffee before responding. ''You forgot to call her''. He hears Kebo drop something and then swear.

''Oh right I was supposed to do that''.

 

Grant isn't entirely sure what any of this meant. Yes Skye came here because she thought he was dead, she still hates him made that pretty clear. But why read his file? Why listen to Kebo? Is she looking for a reason not to blame him for all that's happened? Is she trying to find some excuse so Shield can say he's mentally unwell and Garrett forced him into doing all these things? Not that anyone would believe it.

 

Ward will always be branded traitor to Coulson, brain washed or not.

''Wait are we happy or sad that Skye was here? Your face says no but I can never be sure''. Grant looks over to Kebo who is throwing the couch cushions into the washer.

''Thanks to you Skye now thinks I was brain washed''. Kebo knows he must tread very carefully with this subject, like he told Skye Ward thinks his relationship with John is normal.

''Look boss I just told her what Garrett did to you, I can't make her believe anything. You're the one who should have told her about your past with John not me. Maybe if you did that in the beginning she wouldn't hate you so much now''.

He has a point and it causes Ward to clench his jaw. ''Well there's nothing I can do about it now''. Kebo closes the washer and walks up to his friend. ''She came here of her own free will, I'd say that's a pretty good start''.

''We got into a fight''.

''You two are always fighting. Maybe Skye realized there's more to this than meets the eye finally, maybe she's coming around Robot''.

 

Grant finishes his coffe, closes his eyes and tries to get the taste of her from his mind. It's futile of course. He's missed her so much, a lot more than he realized until she was back in his arms. Now that he thinks about it, he probably should have gone after her.

 

''Did you give John the drive?''

''No Ward I just drove for ten hours got to the base and had a beer with the man''.

At Grant's expression Kebo sighs, ''yes I did. He wants you there as soon as posssible''. At this Ward shoves on a shirt, ignores the pain his body feels.

''Oh we're going right now? You up for that?'' Instead of answering Ward grabs two bags, a gun and is out the door in less than twenty seconds.

Kebo shakes his head, bloody idiot is going to die young.

 

When they make it to the base Kebo's phone has gone off five times. Assuming it's Skye Ward doesn't say anything, but he can't quite hide his discomfort from Kebo.

 

''Jesus I wish you two could just talk it out like adults. Why am I always in the mdidle?'' ''Kebo I ask myself that question every single day''. John does not look happy when he sees Grant, it makes the Specialist weary.

''Everything okay John?''

Raina slides out of the lab and not for the first time Ward agrees with John about her, there's just something unsettling about that woman. ''There's a problem with the flashdrive I'm afraid''.

''What's wrong with it?''

''Why don't you ask your wife?'' John spits. crossing his arms and Ward is on the denfese. _Oh Skye what did you do?_ Garrett answers his unspoken question, ''she programmed it so only she can access it.

Did she know you took it from her?''

''No sir. Skye was under the impression I was unconscious the entire time''.

Garrett sighs, ''you mean when you took a bullet for her''. From his mentor's expression Ward feels very very small, like John is glaring at him from under a microscope.

''It was tactical Garrett''. Kebo says, stepping up to Ward's side.

''Oh Kebo we both know it wasn't. She's a weakness Ward, and what do we do about those?''

Ward hides the sudden panic in his voice when he automatically answers, ''eliminate them''.

Garrett smiles, ''good boy. I have a mission for you''. Ward can already tell what that is. ''You're up Romeo, find your wife and have her crack the drive. You have twenty four hours, if you fail screw it and bring her to me''.

A look passes between Raina and Garrett that causes Ward's breath to hitch.

Does he honestly think Ward is going to stand by and allow Raina to torture his wife? Juding by the look on John's face that's exactly what he expects.

''This is a bad idea boss''. Kebo mutters after Garrett has left the room and Ward is tucking a gun into the back of his jeans. Grant closes his eyes, he can do this. All he has to do is convince Skye to unlock the drive, Garrett expects him to seduce her for the information, he's done it to several targets before.

 

But Skye isn't a meaningless target, John doesn't understand that though. He's never been in love. He doesn't understand that Ward can't just turn his feelings off for Skye, it's different with her it always has been.

 

''I have a bad feeling about this''. ''It'll be fine Kebo''.

They get into the car and Kebo turns the radio on. ''What if this is just a distraction?'' Ward pulls out of the base and onto the highway.

''What?''

''I mean this drive has the supposed cure for Garrett on it right?''

''Yeah''.

''What if he knows he can't crack it and is just looking for an excuse to come after Skye?''

Ward has thought about that. ''Skye is going to be fine''.

''You know she won't hack that drive''.

''She has to''. Kebo looks sad as he glances over to Grant. ''And if she doesn't? I don't think you'd let Raina touch her''.

''I won't''.

''So what's it going to be boss? No matter what you do or say you can't make Skye do it. And she won't when she realizes it was you who stole it from her and it's for Garrett. Your twenty four hours will be up and then what?''

Ward blows out a heavy breath, turns off the radio. ''I don't know Kebo, okay? I have no idea. John needs me''.

''But so does Skye''.

And that's the crux of it all isn't it?

　

Skye finds a bottle of whiskey from underneath the kitchen sink and opens it, sits at the table. Doesn't even bother with a glass just drinks it straight, her throat burning. It's so late everyone at the Playground is long asleep, even Fitz and Simmons who when Skye checked on them were still going strong in their Star Wars marathon. Dear god what did she do? She can still feel Ward's mouth on her skin, his hands on her hips.

 

Okay she can rationalize this. It was a moment of weakness. She thought her husband was dead, she made an impulsive decision. A mistake, a terrible mistake that will never happen again. That's it, just a very bad call in judgement. Skye can lie to the team if they ever find out, but to herself? God she's missed him. Didn't realize how much until she was back in his arms, his teeth against her neck. 

 

Somehow though the moment is always ruined, how can he not see how toxic Garrett is? Kebo had no reason to lie to her, if it's all true then John is the real monster here. It doesn't forgive or excuse all the awful things Ward has done and he needs to pay for those, but it may shed some light on why he is the way that he is. Maybe everyone was wrong, maybe he is just a loaded gun that John tells when to pull the trigger.

　

Grant left one hell only to be dropped into another. A family of abusive monsters, a father figure who's worse than all of them. Skye tries to think over the past six years, she only met John once right before she and Ward were engaged. The memory is a little hazy but she doesn't remember anything off about him. He was a close friend of Coulson and Ward, she saw no reason to look for red flags.

　

Skye has spent months thinking her husband was a cold blooded killler with no remorse, just a puppet who followed Garrett. But maybe that's not the case. Has she really wasted all this time hating him? In this moment Skye hates herself for the way she's acted, did she not promise Ward to stand by him through everything? And when it got bad really bad, what did she do? Rejected him, threw him out hated him like everyone else at Shield.

　

She can't forgive him, not when Fitz and Simmons are sleeping across the hall, not while John Garrett is still alive. But perhaps Grant Ward isn't the devil she's been convinced he is. Maybe he was just dealt a crappy card and played it the only way he knew how, survive. Do whatever you can to get out alive and if you get hurt along the way walk it off. Does John really hit him if Grant does something he doesn't like?

　

All those cuts and bruises she saw on his body after a mission were they really from his target or John? Kebo wouldn't lie about something like that. What kind of wife did that make her? How did she not see it? Skye already knows the answer, because Ward didn't want her to. Could it be even then he was protecting her from the truth? Skye shakes her head and takes another sip, she's so tired.

A few minutes later Mack walks in and while they aren't very close he can tell something is bothering her.

 

''Everything okay Skye?'' He leans against the kitchen counter and can tell how exhausted she is. When he first came to the Playground he was cautious about her, despite what Coulson and May said. Surely Grant Ward's wife had to of known he was Hydra, but it turns out she was just as blind as the rest of them and he feels for her.

 

He watches her take a long sip from the bottle, brush the bangs out of her face. ''What if you did a bad thing?''

Mack is going to assume she's a little drunk, otherwise she probably wouldn't be talking to him about whatever hypothetical bad thing she did or didn't do.

''How awful are we talking?''

She chuckles and takes another huge sip. ''Like mom and dad would ground me bad''. He doubts May and Coulson would punish her anyway.

''Like I knew it was wrong even before I did it but it happened anyway. And I'm afraid this bad thing will cause a lot of trouble''.

She's afraid Grant will think it means they're back together, that she wants to work all of this out. She doesn't.

Mack takes a seat across from her, ''did you hurt anyone?'' Skye seems to think about this, ''myself probably''. The answer comes to him so easily it takes them both by surprise.

''Well you put yourself back together before. Do it again''. He gives her a smile that Skye finds comforting, it might be the first time she's ever seen one on his handsome face. The next mission she goes on a few hours later, that sentence sticks with her. What happened with Grant broke her but she fought back, didn't let it destroy her. This time doesn't have to be any differrent.

　

Mack is with her this time and Skye thinks they could become friends in time. Bobbi and Hunter go into the building first, a known Hydra bulding where they've been smuggling drugs in and out of the city. May is in their comm saying to tread carefully, there's always a possiblity of some unwanted guests to show up. Skye nearly rolls her eyes, no one has to say it but she knows they are all on the look out for Ward and Garrett.

　

There's a fight, these days there always is. Skye gets seperated from the group, chases a Hydra agent out the back door. Her gun is raised she's breathing heavy, adrenaline strong in her veins. The sun blinds her for a moment but that's all it takes, just one second for the enemy to get the upper hand. Turns out there were more agents outside than they realized, three in total. Skye shakes off the light and attempts to duck behind a large crate.

　

It's shoved away and she's grabbed by the arm, grits her teeth and kicks the man in the leg. Skye manages to take him down goes after the second one, but then a shot goes off. Then another. She doesn't feel it at first, is very surprised when her hand comes back dripping blood. Looks down to find her stomach bleeding profusely and the man in front of her grinning, gun in hand. He shot her? She's been shot?

　

She isn't aware that she's sunk to the ground, all she sees is clouds and the clear blue sky. The pain comes out of nowhere but Skye can't find her voice to cry out, to call for help. There's just white hot pain blood in her mouth sweat and tears on her lips. Someone is calling her name but she's floating away somewhere else, a place where nothing hurts. There are more bullets ringing beside her but she can't be sure.

　

A face then two swims into view but she can't make them out. Her vision blurs.

　

She's sinking.

　

Down

　

down

　

down

　

down.

 

 


	15. Sometimes Love Is Not Enough & the Road Gets Tough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flashback to when Ward asked Skye to marry him, and Skye's life hangs by a thread and Shield will do anything to save her.

 

_Ward opens the front door with a sigh, he's been away for what feels like a very long time. Undercover ops never used to bother him, but now that he has Skye, they weigh heavy. He loathes being away from her, of this life they've built together. It's dangerous and stupid but he can't help it, Skye loves him and he loves her. Still lying to himself that everything is going to work out in the end? Probably._

_All the lights are off in his apartment except for the one above the stove there's an unwashed coffee mug in the sink. A blanket tossed carelessly onto the couch, the TV remote is lying on the recliner when it should be on the table. Ward is too tired to fix Skye's mess right now, he goes to the bedroom to find her fast asleep. Curled into his side of the bed, face pressed into his pillows._

_For a moment he just stands there and watches her, this beautiful woman who loves him scars and all. Knows that he does not deserve her yet she sticks around anyway. He had a plan you see, take her out to a nice dinner somewhere in Italy maybe. But the ring in his pocket feels like it weighs a ton and he just knows without any shred of doubt, he's going to ask her right now. They've been together for a few years now, she finally moved in._

_As soon as he met her Ward was head over heels, loved her at first sight. She's the one. It's four in the morning and he can't think of a better time to ask her to marry him. He knows Skye wouldn't want some grand dramatic gesture at a restaurant, but they could go to Italy on their honeymoon. Right now it just feels right, besides he hasn't seen her in three months. Being away from her is unsettling, Grant doesn't feel right, like his being is off balanced._

_Kebo would kill him for asking her this way, Skye does after all deserve the world he can't give her that, but he can do romance. For her he can do anything. He's dead tired every body part aches the pain medicine hasn't kicked in yet, he still quietly gathers every candle Skye has stocked inside the apartment. She doesn't even wake, not when he spreads them around the bedroom or lights them._

_The room is bathed in soft light the curtains sealed, the warm orange glow across Skye's skin has Ward nearly tripping over the dresser. She's so beautiful. The smell must do her in because a few seconds later he's perched beside her, her brown eyes look into his. Skye smiles widely and sits up, cranes her head to kiss him. ''You're home, what time is it?'' She looks at the clock but doesn't even care about the hour._

_Her hands are cupping his face thumbs running across the stubble he's required in his haste to get back to her. ''I missed you''. He says nervous suddenly as she notices the candles. Skye yawns and stretches loudly, she's wearing one of his dark Henley's. Ward finds it hard to concentrate suddenly and it has nothing to do with the ring in his pocket. ''What's with the candles babe? Did the power go out?''_

_She starts rising from the bed but he stops her, kisses her forehead. ''It's okay, I lit them''. She looks around for a second time, wonder on her face. ''Why?'' Grant takes her hands in his, rubbing circles onto her fingers a nervous habit perhaps? He doesn't have any, but he finds this gesture calms him. ''Ward what's going on?'' Ward looks up to the woman he's come to love so much more than anyone, even himself._

_She believes in him trusts him with her life, given her heart to him. He doesn't deserve it but she's always telling him otherwise. He loves her so much. ''I love you Skye''. She smiles again and kisses his jaw. ''Still doesn't answer my question, are you part of some cult I don't know about?'' Ward rolls his eyes and strokes her hand again. ''I've loved you from the moment I first saw you Skye. I love everything about you, your laugh your smile._

_How you see the good in everyone, you made me see that I'm much more than a Shield agent''. ''That's because you are''. She whispers, hands on his cheeks again. ''You made me realize that there's much more to life than missions, than guns. And I'm so grateful for that''. Is he crying? Damn he really didn't want to do that. But it's true, Skye has saved him in all the ways a person can be saved. Rescued him from himself._

_Skye wipes away his tears, let's him continue. ''I love you Skye more than anything, will you marry me?'' He leaves the bed to get down on one knee, watches her every single move every breath each expression across her face. She gasps as he holds the ring out in front of him, it was his grandmothers she left it to him just before she died. ''Grant I''- For just a moment doubt sets in and then Skye leaps in his arms knocking them over._

_He can hardly feel any of his wounds when Skye is on top of him crying too, kissing his face. ''Yes, yes of course I'll marry you, I love you Grant Ward''. He slides the ring on her finger where it will be always, and Skye looks at it then back at him, her eyes wet. ''It's beautiful''. ''You're beautiful''. Ward sits up so she's leaning against his chest, Skye turns to kiss him again. ''I love you Skye''. ''Hell yeah you do''. She gestures to the ring and he takes her left hand._

_Kisses her fingers then her nose, her eyelids her lips. They stay sitting on the floor for an hour talking about their lives together how much they love each other, when Grant suddenly scoops her up lays her down on the bed. ''Someone is eager''. Skye says as he takes off his shoes and shirt. ''It has been three months''. Skye drags him by the shoulders and kisses him, breathes against his skin how much she loves him._

_How she can't wait to be his wife, that they will be happy together. ''Who knew you had feelings?'' She teases him a few hours later, traces his bare shoulder. Ward looks down at her and smiles, ''you did. You always knew''. ''I love you Ward''. ''I love you too''. He's so tired but he can't stop the grin that spreads when Skye holds out her left had in front of them. ''I love it''. ''I'm glad''. She looks over at him and kisses him._

_He prays to whoever might be listening that he will always feel this way, that Skye's love could be enough if it all comes crashing down around them._

_Whoever was out there never gave him an answer._

 

 

 

*

　

 

''She's going to hate you for this''. ''Can you not?'' Ward and Kebo enter the building Skye and a few other Shield agents just entered. ''I'm just saying boss this won't end well''. ''Kebo lately things never end well''. ''Huh wonder why that is? Oh I know because you continue to follow Garrett a crazy man''. ''Not now Kebo''. Ward leans his head around when the gun fire begins, it wasn't that hard to track down Skye.

　

Coulson really needs to get better at protecting his mission details. Grant takes a breath when he sees Skye go out the back door, there are more agents out there did she see them? All he has to do is get the drive. Get the drive and John will be fine, he can keep trying to talk to Skye. It's all going to work out he can do this. ''She's still going to be mad at you''. ''Kebo shut the hell up, go inside and help Shield''.

　

Kebo gapes at him, ''I'm sorry did you just say help Shield? Are you bloody mad? I would rather eat my own foot''. ''Skye might need back up and she can't get it if all her friends are dead''. Kebo sighs dramatically, steps around him to walk inside. ''Fine but you owe me one''. Ward hears a few gun shots go off in the back and he races there, his eyes see nothing but targets, a threat and he open fires.

　

What he doesn't count on when the smoke clears however, is Skye. He expects her to be scowling at him saying she didn't need him to save the day. He'd make a sarcastic remark back ask if she's alright, and maybe just maybe there would be a moment. Where maybe she didn't regret the night before at all. But that's not at all what happens. When the bodies hit the concrete he doesn't see Skye anywhere.

　

At first he's confused but then it turns to blood freezing panic. He hears a wet choking sound, a small tiny cry for help and he just knows deep in his gut that it's Skye. She's hurt. He runs farther into the alley and nearly loses it. Skye is lying on the ground one hand pressed over her stomach she's covered in blood, there's no much blood everywhere it's all he can see just the red haze, everything is bright crimson. No no no no no no no this isn't happening it can't.

　

He runs over to her pale form, assesses the wound. Two shots clean, if she doesn't get medical attention soon she will die. The thought nearly makes him vomit. ''Skye? Skye hey look at me you're going to fine, you're going to be okay. Just hang on''. His free hand cups the back of her neck and Skye opens her eyes, they are glassy, filled with tears. ''Ward''. Her voice is so quiet it's all quiet like she took all the noise out of the air.

　

Grant starts yelling for help, for Simmons for anyone. ''Ward''. More blood seeps out of the wound covering his hand he can't breathe or think she has to be okay she can't, she has to be alright there is no other option. He can't feel the tears pouring down his face, feel his own breath as he begins to hyperventilate from the panic. ''Grant, Grant''. He looks at her, the blood in her mouth in her teeth, her face the palest he's ever seen.

　

''Grant I'm dying''. Those words only existed in his nightmares they aren't real here they can't be, he won't allow it. If anyone in this place deserves to die it's him not her. ''What? No you're not, you're going to be fine I promise''. He hears people behind him but doesn't pay them any mind. His fingers drift along her neck, her pulse is there but very very weak. ''Don't talk like that Skye, it's going to be okay you're going to be okay''.

　

She smiles and starts to cough, he's cleared her air ways but the blood just keeps coming. His wife looks at him and he just knows, knows what she's going to say. Her small hand comes to cover his on her stomach. ''Skye''- ''I wish I, I wish I could understand''. And then her eyes close, her head rolls to the side. ''No no no Skye look at me''. His hand holds her face, ''look at me baby look at me. You are not dying today''.

　

Kebo rounds the corner the Shield agents in front of him, and he hears something he's never heard before. It takes him by surprise. At first he thinks it's some kind of dying animal that was caught in the cross fire, but when he gets closer he can see Ward's leather jacket form hunched over a body. And everything inside Kebo fills with sorrow. There's only one person Ward would be sobbing over, he's crying over the body of the person he loves most.

　

He knows exactly how that feels.

　

Is Skye dead? His own eyes fill with tears because the sound of Ward crying has to be the saddest thing in the world. Kebo ingores the Shield agents and walks up to his friend, who has now lifted Skye into his arms. She looks so pale, he can tell she's been shot. ''Grant, Grant is she''- Ward ignores Kebo and asks the Shield agents who are criyng as well, if there's a medic nearby. It's Mack who answers, says they can stabilize her in the quin jet.

　

The Playground isn't very far away, if they can get her to Simmons and to the medical team she should be alright. It doesn't escape Kebo's notice how no one even seems to remember that Ward is a traitor, that they should be arresting him. Not letting him run to the jet with Skye in his arms, Kebo follows and no one asks him any questions. Ward is a mess when they lay Skye onto a steel table and Bobbi tries to get the bleeding to stop.

　

It's all snappy comments and panic, shaking hands and trying not to cry. ''Her pulse is faint but it's there''. Kebo looks at the blonde agent, her name finally comes to him, Agent Morse. Her ex-husband Lance Hunter, and Mack all stand around Skye's bleeding body. Ward is stone by her head, one hand still holding her's. He's no longer crying and Kebo knows that is a very bad sign.

　

Kebo can't help but wonder if this was an accident or if her being shot was on purpose. If someone had orders to take her out, he wouldn't put it past Garrett. John has been dying to get rid of Skye since he first found out about her. What did he say to Grant just before they left? To eliminate the weakness, Kebo is curious if that was some kind of warning. ''She's going to be okay, she's going to be fine''. Ward says, taking her hand and kissing her fingers.

　

''You did this, didn't you?'' Hunter asks and Kebo can see the warning signs long before any of the Shield agents can. Ward snaps, just for a moment. In one careful controlled movement he grabs a hold of Hunter's throat and slams him into the nearest wall, fingers applying pressure, his other hand raising his gun at Bobbi and Mack who also have their weapons pointed. Hell Ward is going to get them both killed, Kebo points his weapon at Bobbi.

　

''I had nothing to do with this''. Ward says through clenched teeth. ''Why should we believe a word you say?'' ''Because he loves her''. Kebo answers as they all five look at the woman on the table below them. Mack he notices never took his hand off the wound on Skye's stomach, still applying pressure. ''If you've never believed anything he's said that's fine, but believe this, he would never hurt Skye''.

　

Kebo's words to the trick as guns are lowered, after a beat Ward let's Hunter go who sinks to the floor and tries to catch his breath. The ride to the Playground only takes an hour and the entire time no one says a thing. Ward just stands next to Skye her cold hand in his. Kebo is off to the side gun out just in case, Ward isn't thinking clearly. Under normal circumstances Grant would never think to step foot inside the Playground.

　

Once Skye is alright they will either arrest him or kill him or both. Neither of those options really work for Kebo. Again, Grant is probably going to get them killed.

　

The second they land Ward is out of the jet with Skye in his arms screaming for Simmons at the top of his lungs, who comes running out. Kebo recognizes the look on her face and it's not just shocked from seeing Ward. ''She's been shot you have to help her''. Simmons doesn't even move as Ward walks up to her, ''Simmons she's dying Skye is hurt. Jemma, please''. The woman seems to melt, kick back into action.

　

Kebo also notices several agents following them into the medical wing of the Playground, Ward is still a frantic mess even as Simmons demands he set Skye down on the operating table. ''In order for us to work you have to leave''. A doctor tells Ward who doesn't move from Skye's side, he seems oblivious to the activity going on around him. Doesn't care about any of it all he sees is Skye bleeding below him.

　

''Sir you need to leave this room immediately''. A hand on his shoulder but he can't bear to leave her. He looks at his wife she could almost pass for sleeping if it weren't for all the blood. Grant doesn't care about the threat he's in, all the danger he caused to himself by even coming to Shield's Head Quarters. They have to save her she can't die, a world without her in it is no world at all.

　

Quickly he kisses her forehead, ''I love you''. And then Kebo is shoving him out the door.

　

Three hours later after many heated yelling matches with Coulson, with May, Ward find himself with a heaviness in his bones no amount of time can heal. He's decided to let Shield do whatever they want to him because the doctors have just come and told them there's nothing they can do. That he has to make a choice because he and Skye never divorced and legally it's up to him if he would like to keep her on life support.

　

Which Coulson doesn't care about he demands they keep Skye alive, not that Ward disagrees. Or maybe he does, if she's suffering of course he doesn't want that. Which is how he finds himself at her bed side again, Skye hooked up to machines and tubes. How the hell did they get here? Hours ago she was in his arms and now she's dying. At that thought Ward can't keep it together, the love of his life is slipping away each minute.

　

''I love you I love you I love you, I'm sorry I'm so sorry Skye''. He's sobbing into her shoulder feeling everything and nothing at all.

　


	16. If You Love Me Don't Let Me Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ward has to work with Shield if they want to find a miracle for Skye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was fun to write, also I love Kebo.

 

Her hands are cold. In all the time he's known Skye her hands have always been warm and smooth against his own. How many times had she run these fingers through his hair in comfort, how many times did these hands make him fall apart, put him back together? Skye is still beside him face pale lips lifeless. He can't breathe nothing makes sense how the hell did this happen? It Skye should never of been caught in the war between Shield and Hydra.

　

He should have been there sooner to that base, maybe if he stopped for gas sooner just spared one second, ran a little faster he could of gotten to her in time. This is his fault. His wife is going to die because of him, because his sins caught up to her finally. She's paying the price he needs to, it shouldn't be Skye in this bed barely hanging on. Ward prays and prays and prays to take her place but it never happens.

　

''Don't do that boss, this wasn't your fault''. Kebo says, putting a hand on his arm.

　

''Of course it's his fault he probably pulled the trigger''.

　

Grant grits his teeth but not at all surprised that Shield is blaming him for this, they will only ever see the worst in him. ''Coulson I would never do that to her''. The Director of Shield scowls at his former agent, ''I don't believe you''.

　

The only reason May hasn't put him in handcuffs and locked him away in Vault D is because they have a plan and they'll need someone like Ward to get it done. There's a serum called GH-25 the same stuff that saved Coulson has to save Skye, they just need to find it. It's been a few hours since Skye was shot and Ward hasn't left her bedside, he's too afraid to take his eyes off her for one moment.

　

Which creates another problem, he wants to go with Shield to find this last chance cure for Skye. But he also doesn't want to leave her alone here. What if something happens while he's out and god forbid he can't say goodbye? What if her heart stops beating while he's away, it is maybe a little selfish but he wants to be here if she goes. He can't imagine being elsewhere no matter how painful this is.

　

Kebo gives him a look that says, 'remember those twenty four hours Garrett gave you? They're running out, what are we going to do'? To which Grant has no response. John is the farthest thing from his mind right now ( he has considered the possibility if there is more of this drug to take some for John and yes he hates himself for that too.) Time has never been a luxury so Grant looks over to Coulson and makes his choice.

　

''If she doesn't make it''- ''She will''.

　

''If she doesn't survive this you can arrest me and lock me in a hole for the rest of my life, I'll go willingly''.

　

A world without Skye is no world at all. He'd rather her be alive and hating him for the rest of his days then have her never breathing again, her body in the ground. ''And if she does?'' Phil asks crossing his arms, May ever stoic at his side. Grant does not answer but the look on his face says it all, if Skye makes it out of here alive Grant will be long gone as soon as she's stable. He sees May exchange a look with the Director before pulling him outside.

　

They don't have time to discuss whether they can trust him or not, Skye is lying here dying and Phil wants to weigh his options? He doesn't have any, Ward is his best chance and they all know it. Ward spies Simmons lingering by a few other doctors, none look at him there's this nervous energy in Skye's small corner of the medical wing. On a noraml day the guilt of what he's done to his old team eats him alive.

　

If this were a few weeks ago he'd be apologizing to Fitz and Simmons, trying to convince Coulson he isn't the monster they think. But there's not any room in his heart for guilt or past mistakes all he sees is Skye and if she dies, that's it. There's no coming back from that. Kebo is not a fan of Ward's plan, he's known the other man long enough to tell that without him even voicing his opinion.

　

Kebo knows what Grant is going through and he'd tell him that giving up is the worst thing to do. It doesn't help the sorrow will just consume you, the right thing to do would be to keep on living. To try and be the man Skye would be proud of, turn his back on Garrett and try to make amends. Ward just can't bring himself to make that promise to Kebo, his life never really had any meaning before Skye came into it.

　

Just endless missions and bullets, faceless cities and faceless women, cold empty apartments and hotel rooms. It was all just a blur until she smiled at him, and that is when Ward really started to see everything differently. Skye made him believe even just for the times he was with her, that he was more than a robot a machine that pulled the trigger. Some days he catches himself believing it still, but it was always easier with her.

　

Out of the corner of his eye he sees the agent named Mack pace. Glances at the gun on Kebo's hip, scowls at Ward. Which he ignores, Mack has probably heard every horror story Shield could tell on the subject of him, there's no point in trying to see otherwise. ''Was this an accident boss?'' Kebo whispers, leaning in close so no one can here. Ward sees the tips of his fingers graze Skye's elbow, Ward can also sense Kebo's deep fear. It's similiar to his own.

　

''Hydra didn't shoot her on accident Kebo''.

　

''That's not what I meant and you know it. You shouldn't of killed the man who shot her, when this was over we could have asked him a few questions''.

　

''What kind of questions?'' Ward knows what is friend is insinuating and it's not appreciated.

　

''I don't need to remind you what your insane mentor said before we left''.

　

Ward sits up straighter and his tone makes it loud and clear to back the hell off, ''John didn't do this he wouldn't''. The response is automatic, defending Garrett even here.

　

''You sure about that? He's been looking for a way to get rid of Skye since the day he found out about her and you know it''.

　

''Kebo shut up''.

　

''You know I'm right''. ''Don't push me''.

　

''You don't intimidate me Grant''.

　

Before Ward can think of a response Coulson, May, Bobbi, Hunter and Trip walk in all in mission mode. It also hasn't escaped Ward that Fitz is nowhere to be seen. ''You brought the whole team along Phil, we're flattered''. Grant elbows Kebo in the ribs to stop talking. Coulson just fixes his glare at Ward, in fact all of them do. If they expect him to get on his knees and forgive him during a time like this he's going to laugh.

　

''I hate that you're here, in my base looking at Skye like you still love her. I hate even looking at you Ward much less talking to you, but I know you didn't do this, we looked at the security footage from the Hydra base. So here's what's going to happen, you're going to help us find this serum for Skye. We bring it back and save her life, what isn't going to happen is you making the rules. When Skye survives you will still be locked in Vault D.

　

Consider it a mercy Ward that I haven't let May kick your ass yet''. May raises an eyebrow, ''there's still time''.

　

''And then you're going to tell me everything you know, every piece of intel and everything about John Garrett. If you try anything on this mission I'll shoot first and ask questions later, do I make myself clear?''

　

''You know Phil you really should have taken a lesson or two at the Academy over the art of intimidation. You suck at it''. Kebo comments expecting Ward to join in but he doesn't. Just nods at Phil and goes back to looking at Skye. ''I'll look after her boss''. Kebo mutters as Coulson informs them to be ready to go in two minutes. Grant knows Kebo wants to go with and make sure Ward stays safe, that May doesn't shoot him after they get the cure.

　

But Skye needs him too, and Grant would prefer Kebo be here just in case. Grant takes both Skye's chilled hands into his and kisses her knuckles, fights back the tears. He begs her not to go to stay here because he needs her, Shield needs her she can't leave them leave him alone. Ward stands and leans over her, reminding him of other hospital visits full of tears. He has to bite his tongue to keep from crying both from old pain and the new.

　

''I'll be right back baby okay? Don't go anywhere. I love you I love you so much''. He kisses her forehead, clears his throat to find Simmons nearly shaking in anger. He can't deal with that right now but she doesn't seem to care.

　

''How dare you''. ''Agent Simmons''. Coulson warns but she pay him no mind tears filling her own eyes.

　

''How dare you stand there and say those things to her! Do you have any idea what she's been through these past months? Do you know how many times I heard her calling for you in her sleep, or sobbing late at night in her bunk when she thought we couldn't hear? You don't love her Ward because you don't destroy the person you love, you don't ruin them. You can't be a murderer and tell her how much you care about her.

　

She hates you or did you forget that?'' Oh how could he ever with Skye reminding him most days lately? ''Skye will never forgive you and if you think saving her will make her want to reconcile with you''- ''I don't''.

　

Ward takes a deep breath Skye's hand still in his. ''I'm not doing this because I have some twisted logic that it will make her want to be with me. I'm trying to save her because I love her Jemma, I don't care if you think otherwise. I'm sorry for what I did to you and to this team but right now making sure Skye stays alive is my main priority''. He gives Kebo a look before walking out of the room, dragging his hands through his hair.

　

Coulson informs him once they are in the quin jet that he'll be accompanied by guards at all times, if they suspect anything off he will be put in handcuffs. Ward just rolls his eyes and buries himself in the tiniest corner in the quin jet, ignoring the expression on Trip's face. It's funny about Trip, he's basically everything Ward should have been. Picked Shield over Hydra, maybe in the end Trip did the right thing.

　

''You better hope Ward knows what he's doing or I swear to god I'm going to lose my shit''. Kebo tells Skye, squeezing her hand.

　

''How could you be loyal to a man like Grant Ward? Don't you know what he's done?'' Simmons asks and Kebo sighs ever so dramatically.

　

''Can you please shut the hell up? You don't know a damn thing, Ward is a better man than any of your precious Shield agents put together''. ''He's a killer''.

　

''And so is Phil Coulson, the Calvary and Trip. We're all killers Agent Simmons and if you stick around long enough you will be too''.

　

They find the GH-325 serum in the same place Coulson was treated when he died. Ward doesn't dwell on how it feels to work with Coulson and May again, how much he's actually missed them. He's missed having a team around him, the idiots at Hydra don't count. They fall in line and let Ward do his job, complete the mission get the hell out. No one yells at him or makes any nasty comments. He can almost pretend things were back to normal.

　

That they didn't hate him.

　

But reality comes back like a slap in the face when they make it back to the Playground and the drug that could possibly save Skye's life is whisked away and Ward finds himself held back by guards. It's their mistake really, did Coulson honestly expect him to just stay put and not check to see if the serum would work? It takes a punch in the face each to knock them out and Ward sprints back to the medical wing still in full tact gear.

　

He swings the doors open so hard they nearly break but no one pays that any mind, all the attention is on Simmons who's inserting the needle into Skye's arm. The room is quiet as a tomb, he's about to speak up when her heat rate spikes and she starts seizing, arching her back off the bed. Ward doesn't hear himself yell her name can't feel his legs but they carry them over to her, fear drenching every inch of him.

　

He has no idea what to do. If this doesn't work, then that's it. Coulson is yelling at Jemma everyone is asking her what's happening to which she replies she doesn't know, she's flustered and sweating they all are. The sweetest sound he's ever known follows shortly though, easing the panic almost immediately, Skye's heart beat evens out. She starts breathing on her own, Simmons after a few minutes deems that the drug is working.

　

Skye is going to be fine.

　

Ward let's out the breath he's been holding for what feels like days and takes her hands again, they aren't warm yet but they are no longer ice either. Brushes her hair back with shaking bloody fingers, kisses her forhead. Doesn't care about his own tears dripping onto her now flushed cheeks, about the injuries from the posion or the few he got on the mission to save her. He cries into her shoulder again thanking god or whoever is listening that she's okay.

　

Kebo has a supportive hand on his back crying as well, ''told you she was a fighter''. The men aren't the only ones crying, even May looks misty eyed. Ward just for a second knows that Skye belongs here. Her home wasn't with him after all, it was with these people. There will never be a a place for him at the Playground but Skye has created a life here. A family. And isn't that what he always wanted? It's what she deserves.

　

The hand on his back tightens after a few minutes, once Simmons checks Skye's vitals and assures them if she makes it through the night she will be back to her normal self in a few days. Kebo is warning him that if they want to go it needs to be right now. Ward can't just leave her, it's harder than he thought it would be. Skye nearly died in his arms her last words her wishing she could understand him, what is he supposed to do with that?

　

It's dangerous being here he knows that but everything inside is telling him to stay here holding her hand, wait for her to wake up. He only has two choices and neither of them end with him staying in this room anyway, seeing Skye awake and moving around will have to be on his terms not Shield's. Kebo tugs on his sleeve again, scratches his nose. It's a signal, letting Ward know he has a plan to get them both out of here.

　

So with a knife in his chest Ward stands kissing the space between her eyebrows, whispers that he'll see her soon and stands up straight. Bobbi and Trip are on alert of course and prepare themselves for a fight, Coulson just looks at him and summons the guards. ''Well Phil it's been so much fun really, I've enjoyed my time here but we're leaving''. Kebo says hand on Ward's shoulder, assurance for Grant or for himself that this is going to work?

　

''Take Grant Ward into custody''. No one even has a chance to move before Kebo sticks his hand into his jacket pocket and pulls out a detonator, shifting the material so everyone can clearly see the explosive device strapped to his side. ''One move and we all die''.

　

''You're bluffing''. Bobbi says but they all back up as one.

　

Kebo jiggles the device in his hand, his thumb on the button, ''you really want to take that chance? Oh god look at Coulson's face! Ward can you take a picture? I'd really like to capture this moment''. At Ward's expression Kebo rolls his eyes, ''you just can't let me have a moment can you?''

　

''Kebo how long have you had that on you?'' Ward never saw him even put it together much less strap it to himself. Instead of answering Kebo takes his free hand pulls out his phone, holds it at arms length and snaps a selfie, Coulson's annoyed slash terrified face in the frame. Kebo looks down at the image fondly before tucking it back into his jacket, ''had this baby on me since I left the safe house''. Before or after he took the drive to Garrett?

　

''You won't get away with this Ward we will find you''. May snarls after they start walking out when the moments of heavy tension died down. Ward for the first time in a long time cracks a sarcastic smile, ''no you won't''. He looks at Skye one more time and then follows Kebo out the front door.

　

Skye wakes eight hours later a long lost image of Ward in her head. Where is he? Where is she what happened? Her head is heavy her body doesn't feel like her own there's a foul taste in her mouth.

　

''Oh you're awake, are you alright?'' That's Simmons, Skye opens her eyes to bright white light and winces. Isn't even aware that she asks for Ward before Coulson is standing in her line of sight. ''Skye, Ward left you in that alley''. That, that can't be right. She remembers his face, it's fuzzy but he was there between the blood and bullets. He woulnd't leave her. She was shot right? Isn't that what happened?

　

''Skye when Bobbi found you, you were alone''. It's all a blur of colors and an IV drip Skye can't tell what's real what's the truth before falling back asleep.

　

 


	17. But He'll Never Stay, They Never Do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kebo is convinced Garrett is responsible for Skye being shot, Ward doesn't agree.

 

''Do I even want to know why you had that?'' Ward nods to the device on Kebo's chest which he's currently switching off and removing. They're halfway to Garrett's base and Ward can't settle down. Every thought is consumed with Skye, he knows she's alright but hates that he left her. They're supposed to be together through sickness and in health, it feels very wrong to be free while she's lying in a hospital bed.

　

''Never can be too careful robot. You need a shower by the way''. Ward glances down to his hands that are covered in dried blood, Skye's blood. God how long has it been since he was injured? Days? It's all one big blur now the hours clumped together nothing had meaning it was all depending on if Skye lived or not.

　

''So you don't find anything suspicious about Skye being shot, at all?''

　

''Kebo we talked about this, John wouldn't do that.''

　

''I'm sorry what gives you the impression that he wouldn't? Think about it, he's been looking for a perfect time to get rid of her and you know it. He tells you to find her to crack the drive and suddenly she's shot? Use those super spy instincts Ward you know something doesn't add up. I don't think this was a coincidence I think he had her shot to teach you some twisted lesson. She's your weakness Grant and we both know what John does to those''.

　

Ward clenches his hands against the steering wheel, takes a deep breath. There's a voice saying that Kebo could be right, John did the same with Buddy. He's hated Skye, it's a possibility. But then Garrett's voice is in his ear and the doubt vanishes. No no John wouldn't do that to him he knows how much Grant cares for Skye, it was just something that happened it wasn't planned. People are shot on missions all the time that was all this was.

　

Kebo nearly smacks Ward in the shoulder when he sees what conclusion he's drawn. ''You know Grant you're a smart man, in your line of work guess you have to be. But right now if you think Garrett is innocent in having your wife shot you're the biggest idiot I've ever met''.

　

Grant doesn't respond and that's all the confirmation Kebo needs, ''God you need to be kicked in the throat''.

　

''Go ahead and try it Kebo see how it works out for you''.

　

''Cocky is not a good look for you boss''.

　

''John wouldn't do that to her or to me''.

　

''Oh Ward you're so stupid. He would kill anyone that got in the way, anyone that could throw you off your game from being his perfect little solider. You know I'm right''.

　

The rest of the drive is quiet. Kebo sends a message to Skye of course she doesn't answer but he might get a response in a day or so. Ward is busy putting everything in a box, Skye, the mission, how worried he is about it all. And pins his focus back on Garrett because that's what matters right now he's always mattered. Ward would give up his life for John, when they pull into the base it hits him, that's exactly what he's done.

　

''Well it's about damn time son''. Ward glances over Garrett slowly to see if there are any changes. Anything subtle he's missed while he's been gone. Other than his face being a shade lighter the older man seems well. The fear deep in his gut becomes a dull ache instead of the raging all powerful beast it is on most days, Garrett doesn't look worse. Grant flexes his shoulders and prepares himself for what's about to happen.

　

''So Romeo you cracked the drive, I'm proud''.

　

Kebo gives Grant a nervous look that John doesn't catch.

　

''No I didn't actually''.

　

The surprise on Garrett's face nearly has Ward shaking but he holds his ground, Kebo is a wreck next to him Ward can almost taste the stress coming off him.

　

''You want to repeat yourself son? What did you just say to me?''

　

Before John can react Ward fishes something out of his pocket and tosses it to Raina and Kebo feels his stomach sink.

　

''What's this Agent Ward?'' Grant gives her a smirk, ''John's cure. It's the same serum Fury used to save Coulson's life''. Ward turns his attention back to Garrett, ''and now it's going to save yours''.

　

The two men exchange wide smiles and Garrett claps Ward on the shoulder who hides a wince. ''You son of a gun. You did it''. ''Yes sir of course''.

　

Raina rushes to the lab to test the serum while Ward takes the flashdrive out of his pocket, John waves it away. ''Don't need that anymore, destroy it. Go take a shower you look like hell. Come back when you're done''. ''Yes sir''.

　

Kebo follows Ward into one of the spare rooms, shuts the door and turns on the light. ''You need something Kebo?'' He's shaking his head, pacing the room with a strong look of disappointment on his face that gives Grant pause.

　

''Oh Ward please tell me you didn't''. ''Didn't what? Just save John? Yeah I did''.

　

''Oh my god. Your wife was dying Ward! And you stole the same serum for John in the middle of the mission? You were thinking about Garrett's life while Skye's hung in the balance? What the hell is wrong with you?'' Ward tosses his bag onto the bed and takes off his jacket.

　

''What do you want from me Kebo? Ever since I've known John that's all I've cared about. I saw an opportunity and I took it, all these years and my job is finally finished. That's what I do, it's what I've always done. This shouldn't surprise you''.

　

''What surprises me is the love of your life could have died in the few seconds it took for you to steal that second vile''.

　

''You don't think I thought about that?''

　

''Oh I know you did that's the problem. You chose Garrett over her again and look where it got you. You're alone and Skye is at the Playground. God you're a real piece of work Ward. If you had any doubts before about John being behind this they should be gone now, he had Skye shot to motivate you and Coulson. It wasn't just luck that you found that serum how can you not see that?''

　

''You don't know that, don't make assumptions like that''.

　

''Or what you'll shoot me? Or are you going to let Garrett come in here and pull the trigger instead like he did with Skye?''

　

Honestly Kebo should have realized what was going to happen if he kept getting Ward worked up. The past twenty plus hours all the stress and blood he was bound to snap. Normally Ward works out his sins his frustrations on a punching bag but there's not one in this room. So instead Kebo gets a punch to the nose. ''Yeah should have seen that one coming''. Kebo holds his nose as the blood starts to pour out.

　

''Get out''.

　

Kebo sighs and leaves the room, calling Ward a few names before slamming the door shut. Grant cracks his knuckles feels a headache coming on. After stripping down he steps into the shower, let's the hot water soothe his sore muscles. Knows he needs to hurry because Garrett is waiting, but the water runs pink for a moment distracting him. Skye's blood runs down the drain and he nearly vomits.

　

Has to steady himself with hands on tile wall, the small space sways dangerously. She almost died. If they didn't make it in time she'd be dead right now. He'd never gaze into her brown eyes again, never see her smile or hear her laugh. He should be ecstatic right now, John is going to live. Ever since he was a teen that's all he's been working towards. One goal all these long years and he's finally reached it.

　

Ward waits for the relief to set in but it doesn't come. Instead there's just this overwhelming black cloud of guilt hanging over. Because he knows Kebo was right, it was selfish of Ward to grab the serum for John too. Honestly he really wasn't thinking clearly when he got the second vile, he was consumed with Skye but a part of him knew it could save John too. What choice did he have? His father figure was slowly slipping away from him day by day.

　

Grant takes deep measured breaths to calm his heart beat, to keep the anxiety at bay. Hands still braced against the tile head bent down. The water pouding at his back but Ward can't feel it he can't feel anything. Did he really choose John over Skye once more? Is that what this is? What did Kebo expect him to do? He couldn't stay at Shield and despite what he hopes, Skye will never take him back.

　

He'll spend the rest of his life loving her from afar.

　

Five minutes later he's walking to where John is standing in front of the lab, Ward can tell by his body language it's good news. ''What did you do to piss Kebo off?'' He asks as Grant comes to stand beside him. ''You know Kebo, he never knows when to stop talking''.

　

John laughs and claps Ward on his injured shoulder again but doesn't let it show. ''Flowers is positive it's going to work''. Grant smiles at his mentor, ''good''.

　

''How'd you come across this Jesus juice anyway?'' Grant despite everything telling him not to, looks for any kind of tell in John's face. Anything to give him away and much to his relief finds none. Kebo was wrong Garrett had nothing to do with this.

　

''Skye was shot''. Ward's voice sounds hollow to his own ears, dead. He isn't looking at Garrett but he hears his sharp intake of breath. ''She okay?'' ''She is now''. ''Good''.

　

An hour later Raina comes out of the lab and gives John the widest smile either of them have ever seen. ''It's ready. May I?'' John rolls up his sleeve as Ward helps him over to a spare couch. ''Moment of truth son''. John keeps his eyes locked with Grant as Raina inserts the needle and Ward braces himself in case he has the same reaction Skye did. It happens just the same. Garrett seizes, arches off the couch and Ward keeps him steady.

　

After a few moment Garrett doesn't open his eyes and Ward starts yelling at Raina, checking his pulse it's not there. Fear shoots up his spine so fast he's about to tear this place apart starting with Raina, but then Ward feels a beat under his fingers. John is propped up against the pillows when he opens his eyes. ''John? John can you hear me? Are you alright?'' The other man's dark eyes focus on Ward.

　

''I'm alive''. Ward let's out a shaky breath, ''yeah you are''.

　

And for a second Ward can pretend all is right with the world.

　

 

 

*

　

Skye watches as Simmons checks the heart monitor again, the IV drip. ''If you're good we should be able to release you in a few days''. ''Joy''. Skye's foul mood hasn't gone unnoticed by the team, Jemma is the only one who knows the real reason. It's not just because she nearly died (honestly the thought is giving her nightmares but she doesn't tell anyone.) It's because she can't wrap her head around it. Grant leaving her when she was hurt.

　

Why would he do that? Skye racks her brain for an answer but can't find one. That's not like him, but maybe without realizing it she's put too much faith in him. Simmons puts a cup to her lips and she takes a long cool drink of water, it burns on the way down. For the most part Skye doesn't feel as if she's been shot, more like she caught a twenty four hour virus and she's beginning to recover.

　

Coulson told her about the mission to save her life, about the same serum that brought him back from death is now running through her veins. At that Skye cried and thanked everyone on the team for risking their lives, she'll be forever grateful. Skye runs her hand down the needle in her palm, toys with the tape holding it until Jemma sees and scolds her. She's trying very hard not to think about Grant but fails every time.

　

If he wasn't so damn handsome it wouldn't be this big of a problem, if he didn't nearly die for her if she wasn't still so in love with him it hurt, she could try to move on. Pretend he doesn't exist find someone else to make her happy. But it still makes her uneasy thinking of someone else falling asleep next to her or kissing her goodnight. It feels wrong, but perhaps that will fade with time.

　

Clearly he doesn't care about her as much as she thought because he left her dying in an alley. Skye believes that Coulson had no reason to lie to her about that but a part of her still wants to check with Kebo, just to make sure. She's thought the worst of Ward but that just doesn't seem right. Leaving the woman he loves to bleed out, it's not in his nature. Skye closes her eyes and wishes he was next to her.

　

His warm skin curled into her's, his breath against her cheek, heart beat lulling her to sleep. She really missed him. Was it a mistake? Yes. But Skye can't find a reason to regret it, not yet anyway. What she can't understand is how Ward just doesn't seem to get it, that John is an evil bastard and is just using him. How can he not see that he's just his puppet? John doesn't love him he doesn't care about him.

　

Before she can dwell on it too much Mack walks into the room and gives Simmons a nod. ''How are you feeling?'' Skye gives him a smile, ''like I got shot''. ''Real funny Skye''. He takes a seat next to her stretches out his legs. ''Are you in charge of babysitting me since Fitz needs Simmons in the lab?'' Jemma just shakes her head while taking off a pair of gloves.

　

''You could spring me out of here you know''.

　

''Absolutely not Skye you need your rest. You were just shot not thirteen hours ago!''

　

'''But Simmons I'm fine! Could an injured person do this?'' Skye sits up quickly and attempts to do a sit up but Mack is pushing her back down while Simmons fusses over her.

　

''Easy there Turbo''.

　

''Skye don't do that again you'll rip your stitches!''

　

''God you're no fun''. Skye pouts while Jemma adjusts her IV and after a few minutes leaves the room.

　

''You know she's just worried about you, everyone is''. ''Yeah I'm aware''.

　

There's a dull pain in her abdomen that has Skye wincing a tad and then it's gone, Mack looks at her with concern all over his face. ''Getting shot sucks''.

　

He chuckles, ''yeah it does''.

　

Throughout the day the rest of the team comes and goes to check on her. Trip stays the longest, watches over her while she naps. Even brings her laptop much to her surprise. She's working on upgrading the Playground's security just for something to do when Coulson walks in and Skye can tell from the blank look in his eyes it's not going to be a fun conversation. ''What up? Did you come here to free me? Oh did you bring any ice cream?''

　

He doesn't laugh just sits in the chair beside her head and crosses his legs. ''Skye what do you remember?''

　

There's a flash of blood the sound of a gun shot, Ward's petrified face filling her eyes. ''Why? Did you catch the guy who did this to me?''

　

''No''. And then she gets it. Coulson is asking her if she remembers to see if it was Ward who shot her. ''DC Ward didn't do this to me''.

　

''Are you sure?''

　

''Positive. Look you know how I feel about him and I wouldn't lie for him, if he did do this I'd shoot him myself. But it wasn't, just some Hydra agent I wasn't quick enough to take down''. Coulson takes her hand, sighs loudly.

　

''Skye this wasn't your fault''. She shrugs, ''sure feels like it''. ''How so?''

　

''If I was a better agent''- Coulson holds up a hand to stop her.

　

''Skye you're one of my best agents, you've proven yourself time and time again. Sometimes things just happen but I'm so happy you're alright. I wouldn't know what to do if you didn't make it''. ''But I did. I'm okay''. He smiles, ''yes you are''.

　

Later that night she dreams of the bullet ripping through her (is unaware that she's screaming) but then Ward's face comes into view. Brushing her hair back as she lays on the concrete blood everywhere, his tone calm and collected. ''You're going to be fine Skye I promise I love you''.

　

She wakes covered in sweat to Jemma holding onto her shoulders, Trip and Bobbi holding her hands.

　

Was that a dream or a memory?

　

 


	18. When Did I Become So Cold, When Did I Become Ashamed?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kebo confronts John about Skye being shot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly this is kind of a filler chapter, but things heat up in the next one I promise.
> 
> Thank you to those still reading and commenting!

 

''I know what you did''. Kebo says as he walks up to John, who for once since the last few days, doesn't have Ward glued to his hip. After Garrett was injected with the GH-325 serum Grant refused to leave his side, worried about side effects or if he was too weak someone could use that to their advantage and try to hurt him. Hydra agents are afraid of John, far more afraid of Ward yes, but you can't ever trust anyone here.

　

But a few moments ago Garrett sent Ward to talk to a few agents about an upcomimg mission and Kebo took this fleeting oportunity to confront Garrett over the truth. He just knows the other man had something to do with Skye being hurt, it was timed too well. Something just doesn't add up, and yes Ward is blind when it comes to John but his skills are better than this, especailly if Kebo senses something wrong. Ward shouldn't be so quick to assume the best about John.

　

So far Garrett hasn't shown any reaction to the serum except he looks a thousand times better, he has more energy, everyone can sense the relief in both Garrett and Ward. Their goal for the last nearly twenty years has finally been reached. Garrett is going to live and that's all Ward has ever wanted, Kebo not so much. He wants John to rot in hell where he belongs, Ward is too good for him, he's screwed up his life enough.

　

John it seems wasn't paying attention because he claps Kebo on the shoulder and says, ''what'd you say son?'' Garrett's cheeks are flushed his breathing even, any idiot could see he's never been better. Kebo wants to spit, punch John and then kick Ward's ass for this. Where's the justice? Why does a man like John get to live when so many innocent people die? It's not fair, Kebo's hands twitch towards his gun.

　

''Don't call me son''.

Garrett finally looks over to him and rolls his eyes, ''what's on your mind? If you're looking for your boyfriend he's talking to Ronald about a mission''.

''Not looking for Ward, looking for you actually''.

''What do you want Kebo?''

''I know what you did''.

　

Garrett looks confused for a moment but quickly wipes it away. ''you'll have to be more specific kid, I've done a lot of things in my life''.

　

''You know playing dumb might work on your Golden Boy over there but it can't fool me. I know you had Skye shot. Just like I also know the whole cracking the flashdrive was just a tool to get Ward to Skye at that exact moment. You knew he'd find her on time, you had one of your Hydra goons shoot her, knew Ward wouldn't leave him alive so then nothing could be traced back to you. Just like you also knew Ward would do anything to save her.

　

Even go as far to work with Shield on a miracle drug that could save her, the same shit in Coulson is now in both you and Skye. Now that would be just an odd coincidence wouldn't it? Surely you're not that clever right? It would be ridiculous to assume you'd go to that much trouble, putting Ward's wife on the line just to save yourself? And oh hell even if she died you'd still win because nothing would be standing in your way.

　

You'd have Ward all to yourself again, Skye wouldn't be able to cloud his judgement, be able to turn him against you. Which you know that's inevitable, eventually he's going to leave you. Especially when he finds about what you did to his wife, and sure you can threaten me and kill me to shut me up. But you do that and Ward will most definitely realize how much of a monster you are.

　

This little plan of yours was doomed the second you ordered that Hydra agent to pull the trigger. And I swear to god if Ward wasn't in this room I'd put a bullet in your face for the damage you've done to him, the pain you've caused Skye''.

　

It's probably the most Kebo has ever said to Garrett, who looks surprised, he isn't quite sure what to say. Instead his loud laughter fills the base and Grant glances over to them. Yeah Kebo still hasn't forgiven him for being punched in the face a few days earlier. John throws an arm over Kebo's shoulder and leads him further away from earshot, away from Ward. Who has one eye on the agent in front of him and the other on his best friend and mentor.

 

''I'll give it to you Kebo you've got balls''. ''Ew''. Garrett shifts so his back is to Ward because he's fully aware that the man is perfect in the art of reading lips.

''Let's say I did have something to with Skye being shot just for fun. Ward wouldn't do a damn thing, want to know why?''

''Oh I have a feeling you're about to tell me''.

''Because I made him loyal to me, like a dog. Ward will never turn on me he will never betray me, hell the man gave up his wife for me. Nothing you do or say will convince him that I am the bad guy in this situation. I made him he owes me for everything, Ward is a smart man he won't turn on the one person who's never left him, who rescused him from a life in jail''. John looks so smug with himself Kebo wants to punch his mouth.

 

Instead he just rubs his head and says, ''the fact that you just called my friend a dog I'm having a hard time getting over that one. You're a sick son of a bitch you know that?''

John gives him a smile, ''yeah so is Ward''.

　

''That's where you're wrong. You see some people are just born evil, that's you. You brain washed Ward made him into this perfect little weapon and the one time he disobeyed you, you just couldn't stand it could you? You couldn't punish Ward fully like you wanted when you first found out about Skye. It took a lot of waiting to get your revenge but you did. Just admit it John you tried to kill her and save yourself. Two birds one stone''.

 

There's a look in Garrett's eye, a warning. And Kebo just knows deep in his gut.

 

''Kid I have no idea what you're talking about''. He gives Kebo a slight punch to the shoulder and just walks away, like nothing happened. Kebo wants to grab him by the arm and just punch him repeatedly but Ward wouldn't like that.

 

After a pack of beer and calling Skye who doesn't answer, Kebo finally has had enough of Ward's tantrum. He finds the other man on a laptop in the makeshift kitchen area. it's nothing more than a mini fridge and some boxes of cereal on the floor. A plastic table with arm chairs rests in the center, where Ward seems like he's engrossed on whatever is on the screen but Kebo knows better.

 

''My face is fine by the way''.

Grant doesn't answer or show any other sign that he's aware Kebo is in the room.

''Boss you know I'm just trying to protect you and Skye''.

The mention of his wife has Ward finally looking over to his friend.

''Kebo if you want to protect me, stay away from John''.

''God can't you see he's who you need protection from?''

''John has been nothing but''-

''I swear to god if you say the words good or helpful you're going to be the one with a bloody nose''.

This isn't the first conversation the pair has had about Garrett, when they first met Kebo tried to get to Ward early, save him from the monster.

But John had already sunk his claws into the man so deep it was too late.

 

He still tries though, and now that Skye has been nearly killed because of John, Kebo is more insistant than ever. Garrett has gotten away with a lot of shit and if Ward were to just see that, he could escape his mentor's clutches. But judging by the look on Grant's face, Kebo's words have no effect. He might as well be talking to a brick wall.

 

''We're done talking about this. He didn't have anything to do with Skye, I understand why you came to that conclusion but it just didn't happen. It was an accident people are shot in the field all the time''.

Kebo crosses his arms, ''you trying to convince me or yourself that?''

Grant just scowls at him and after a beat leave the room, the two don't speak for another three days.

　

Ward is at the punching bag again the recent mission fresh in his mind, John had him and a team break into a wearhouse and steal a few weapons. It was simple enough no one was hurt everyone got in and out alive and without a hitch. Shield didn't make an appearance, it was a sucuccessful mission. But Ward just can't shake this bad feeling off, he hasn't slept well. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that Kebo left two days ago without a word.

　

Could also be he's never seen John this healthy this active before, Ward is happy for him. After all these years their goal is finally complete. Ward's days at worrying and finding a cure for his father figure are over. Grant still worries about him of course, that's something he'll probably never be able to turn off. Just like his love for Skye. When he thinks of Skye after just having her in his arms days ago, it's hard for him to concentrate.

　

And how she almost died, her bloody face keeps him up at night. The thought of living without her makes him want to cry all over again. Kebo won't tell him if he's spoke to her and Ward broke down and called her last night. But she didn't answer. Not knowing if she's alright is worse than anything, she could be dead and he'd never know. Never get the chance to say goodbye, to tell her he loved her one last time.

　

Sometimes when he's washing his hands he can see her blood still under his fingertips, that day comes back to him all over again and it takes a long time to compose himself. If Garrett senses anything off he doesn't show it, in fact he's been a little more stand off-ish these past couple days. Is it because of the conversation he and Kebo had? Ward knows it had to of been about Skye, Kebo needs to be careful accusing John of things if that's what he was doing.

　

As if he knew Ward was thinking of him, Kebo walks into the small training room his expression sad. Putting Ward on high alert but before he can comment Kebo starts speaking.

''Look I'm not going to apologize for what I said about John. I can tell you what a cruel son of a bitch he is all day long but until you believe it, I'm just wasting my breath. You may not believe he had your wife shot but I do. I can't get ahold of her though, she's probably still recovering. What the hell was in that serum Simmons gave her anyway?''

Ward shrugs, ''I have no idea. All I know is it saved her life and John's''.

''Well don't punch me again if I don't leap for joy where Garrett is concerned''.

There's a pause and then Kebo chuckles like Ward punches him in the face all the time and waves off Grant's attempt at an apology.

''I shouldn't have pushed you mate. How'd your mission go?''

And the two continue on as if their arguement nothing ever happened.

　

It's a week later that Ward's world turns on it's side once more. He's cleaning weapons in the back of a room when Garrett walks in with Raina at his side. There are a few boxes in his way so John can't see Ward from his line of sight. Which was his first mistake, and the second is about to be revealed very soon.

 

''Ward will never go for this''.

Grant can almost hear the eye roll Garrett gives before he responds, ''Ward will fall in line like he always does''.

''Even after Skye?''

''She survived, he's fine. Grant will do this mission without a problem. Now that I'm no longer a walking corpse it's time for our next plan''.

''Going after Shield isn't a good idea. We don't have the man power''.

''Ward is all the man power I need, Flowers''.

Grant flushes with pride, it's rare Garrett ever compliments him. He lives for John's approval.

''You'd be wise to watch over your pet John''. Raina purs and Ward's hands tense on a gun.

''Grant knows his place and if you were smart you'd remember yours. Don't tell me how to handle Ward I know better than anyone''.

There's an edge to Garrett's tone that Ward recognizes, Raina needs to tread carefully.

''I'm not afraid of you John and neither is Coulson. If you want to attack the Playground you're going to need more men''.

Attack the Playground? Why didn't John tell him any of this? It's Ward's job, why was he kept in the dark?

''All in due time Flowers''.

''Ward won't let you put Skye in danger again, you know that''.

''As long as he gets me results I don't give a shit what he does''.

''Even if he leaves you for her?''

''He won't, didn't do it when Shield first fell, won't do it now''.

Raina smiles and it's not kind, ''and what are you going to do about if he does?''

''Skye will fall in line just like Ward''.

''Whatever you say John''.

　

That conversation stays with him all night, he doesn't get much sleep. What the hell did John mean by falling in line? And if she doesn't, Grant doesn't even want to think about what would happen. One thing he knows for sure, he has to protect Skye. He won't let her be hurt again.

 


	19. I Get the Message, You Wish I Was Dead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Skye is finally allowed to leave the Playground, she tries to get Ward out of her head.

 

Skye wakes to the sound of a baby crying. It seems so real that she steps out of bed to check if everything's alright. Her feet on the cool floor about to head to the door, when she stops. The noise is gone. She was about to run to a child that isn't there, that will never be there. It must have been a dream, the edges are frayed half clinging to her mind, sleep clouding everything for a suspended second. It wasn't real.

　

Grant isn't in the next room trying to soothe their child to remain silent so Mommy could sleep. When she opens this door a warm living room filled with toys will not greet her. Instead it will be gray walls and guns, training rooms and mats growing cold with sweat. Sometimes Skye misses her home, it still always takes a moment when she wakes to remember she's in an underground base. The home she shared with Ward is gone now.

　

Skye shakes off the dream of young laughter and Ward swinging a small child up in his arms, heads to the shower. After brushing her teeth and changing, it still lingers. Small bits come back as she walks to the lab, her coming down the stairs to see Grant cooking breakfast. Pumpkin pancakes, their baby already sticky with syrup in a high chair. Smiling brightly at her just like Ward when he notices her.

　

It felt so real, something Skye thought would be reality one day. The dull ache in her abdomen is a harsh reminder that some things aren't meant to be, she opens the lab doors and takes a deep breath. Simmons is already waiting syringe in hand, Fitz looks nervous but doesn't comment. It's the same thing every morning and Skye has started to hate it. She wishes she was back in that house with fuzzy throw blankets and hot coffee in her favorite mug.

　

It seems like such another life ago.

　

''Ow''.

''I haven't done anything yet, keep still''.

''Jemma''-

''Just one more Skye''.

''I feel like a science experiment''.

　

Skye pouts as Simmons takes more blood, Fitz is standing off to the side his face pressed against a microscope. For days now it's been the same, have Simmons run more tests, lightly train with May before sneaking off to do more hands on training with Bobbi. (Skye is feeling so much better now, almost as if she was never shot.) Eat lunch, have Simmons draw blood and run more tests. On and on it goes.

　

Coulson took her out of the field of course since it's only been a week since she was shot but no one besides Bobbi and Mack really understands that she feels fine. Sure sometimes she may get dizzy and grow tired quicker than she used to, but otherwise it feels as if she caught the flu and is beginning to recover. It's only a matter of time before she's back in the field, Skye finds herself becoming restless with each passing day.

　

And it has little to do with not holding a gun in her hands.

　

Normally Kebo can't go longer than three days without talking to her, but she hasn't been able to contact him at all since the previous week. Which is odd it worries her, has something happened? And then there's Ward who it seems with each passing hour she's starting to wonder if he did indeed leave her alone in that alley. Part of her says no way in hell but the other believes Shield.

　

Skye has even tried calling his own personal number and he won't answer, neither will Kebo. Now she's not only having nightmares about being shot (they are constant every single night, the dream about a future she'll never have, was a surprise.) She's having dreams that Ward is dead. And she had no idea, all this time thinking he was alive when he really wasn't. Sleep isn't a blessing anymore, not when she wakes nearly screaming.

　

She's so tense that two weeks later Bobbi reccomends going out for a drink, a girl's night. Everyone on the base has been treading around Skye so carefully these days, afraid that she's going to snap into a million pieces if anyone so much as mentions Ward. Late one Thursday night Jemma deems Skye is more than ready to get out of the underground base. With Coulson's blessing and a warning to take it easy, Skye finds herself trying on a dress in her bunk.

　

She honestly can't remember the last time she just went out to have fun. It had to of been before she married Ward, once she had a wedding ring on times were different. In between work and all the hospital visits, Skye never had time for letting loose. Not at a club anyway. Married life was amazing don't get her wrong, but once Skye slips on a pale purple dress and is sitting in between Jemma and Bobbi with a drink in her hand, she realizes she's missed this.

　

Just relaxing the alcohol buzzing in her veins, the music throbbing at the walls so loud Skye can't hear herself think. Think about how she nearly died a few weeks before, how she can't get ahold of her husband she slept with and then apparently he left her to die in an alley. Doesn't think about all the hardships Shield has faced this past year, about John Garrett or Fitz who is getting better by the day, but Skye still can't help but feel guilty.

　

''Woah you plan on passing out tonight?'' Bobbi asks when Skye slings back her fourth shot of tequila.

　

Jemma has a Cosmopolitan by her elbow and Bobbi is nursing a glass of whiskey. Skye is moving her hips to the beat around them and winks at Bobbi, ''you know I am actually. You're going to have to carry me out of here''.

The older woman takes a sip from her drink before responding, ''you know what? Do it go crazy, you deserve it''.

Skye smiles before downing another shot her skin starting to hum. ''Jemma let's dance!''

　

Before she can respond Skye is dragging her out onto the dance floor blending in with all the bodies around them. The lights are so bright and blinding Skye closes her eyes, runs her hands through her hair. Let's the music take over her body matching to the rhythm. Soon she's lost in the tequila the music the bodies pulsing and laughing around her.

　

Doesn't even notice when Jemma leaves her to get some water. Skye doesn't care that her feet ache in the heels she's wearing, that sweat is staring to form on the back of her neck. She feels good. For the first time since Ward was in her arms since she was shot, Skye doesn't care about anything or anybody. Just sways and moves wherever the music takes her. It's electrifying it's empowering she dances and dances until her legs nearly give out.

　

When she makes it back to the table Bobbi has a cool glass of water waiting for her, which Skye only downs after two more shots of tequila. She's starting to feel it now the buzz the gooey feeling in her arms in her head. She really needed this. Skye is going to feel this in the morning but right now she could care less. Bobbi and Jemma share a glance as Skye takes another shot. Skye catches it and raises a brow at them.

　

''What?''

Bobbi grins into her drink, ''oh nothing''.

Jemma leans in close to the pair, she too has had a lot drink. ''Just that there is a very attractive male over there looking at you''.

　

Skye glances over to where Bobbi directs and instantly agrees with Jemma. He is gorgeous, curly hair and bright blue eyes which are glued to her. He bites his lip when he notices Skye staring back at him, begins to walk over to the trio. Skye is caught up in the spell of it all which is why she doesn't even think about it when she says yes to his offer to dance. Doesn't even remember the name he yelled in her ear.

　

The dance floor is filled with shiny bright bodies sweaty skin pressed into her's, Skye closes her eyes again. God when was the last time she got drunk like this? Danced with some random dude with his hands on her hips? She doesn't even care that it's not Grant that's got his face buried in her neck, not his hands on her skin. If she was sober maybe she would, but Skye continues to dance and enjoy this. Bobbi is right, she deserves it.

　

Screw Ward and Hydra and John Garrett. Screw the asshole who shot her, none of that matters right now.

　

Which is how she finds herself outside behind the bar two hours later, has whateve his name is, the curly haired guy, pressed against the bricks of the building and is kissing him. Sloppily probably but she's too drunk to care. Has flashes of Ward's face behind her closed eyelids, even moans out his name a few times but doesn't notice. Pretends it's his hands on her legs on her neck, his lips against her own.

　

She doesn't remember what happens next, just that one minute the dull street lights were glowing around her, and then the world went dark like someone shut off the sun.

　

Skye wakes to the feel of something scratching against her cheek. Paper? It's rough and smells of lemons. Harsh white lights greet her when she opens her eyes, wincing painfully. Her head pounding. How much did she drink last night? Enough to blackout? She doesn't think so. Everything is blurry except the gray trash can in front of her, which she hurls in a moment later. Where the hell is she?

　

Wiping the sweat from her brow Skye takes in her surroundings and immediately knows she's not at the Playground. Oh my god did the guy from last night drug her? Impossible she didn't take a drink from him, just the ones at her table where Bobbi was present at all night. That's always Skye's rule, never take a drink from someone you don't know. There are crazy sick people out there.

　

There's a small cot with a paper sheet covering it behind her, a solid wooden door in front, a trashcan and a small chair in the corner of this small room. Even hungover Skye is going to fight her way out of this, the Calvary didn't train her to freak out and give up. If curly haired guy from last night did something to her, she's going to kick his ass. But if it wasn't him then where is she? What happened? She can't remember anything.

　

The answer comes fifteen minutes later with the door opening. And it's the last person she expects to see. This haze fills her body so quickly hate seeping out of every inch of her. John Garrett smiles at her, he looks different from the last time she saw him. Stronger, his stupid face no longer pale. In fact it's flush with color, the man actually has a skip in his step when he walks further into the room.

　

He no longer looks like he's dying. Did Hydra find a cure? Pity.

　

''Well good morning Sunshine''.

　

Skye says nothing, just crosses her arms, prepares for whatever is about to happen. John closes the door, he's alone with a gun strapped to his hip. Skye could take him out, she's younger and faster, was trained by Melinda May herself. She's not weak, fully recovered from being shot. He deserves to die, and if it comes down to her life or his she's going to pick herself. This monster needs to put in the ground for all the terrible things he's done.

　

''It's been a long time since we saw each other. You know I was thinking you should just call me Dad, has a nice ring to it yeah? Ward is basically my son, you should try it out''.

　

Skye bites the inside of her cheek, does not respond. Watches him watch her, his eyes never leaving her battle ready stance once.

　

''What is this Garrett? You kidnapped me?''

''Well technically I just gave the order to kidnap you. It was pretty easy, the Calvary needs to work on training you better. If you were my agent this wouldn't have happened''.

Skye glares at him, ''if I was your agent you probably would beat the shit out of me for failing you, huh? Or do you reserve that punishment strictly for Ward?''

John doesn't even bat an eye when he responds, ''speaking of Ward you and I both know even if you had a shot at killing me, he would never let that happen. That boy would die for me''.

''You're a monster''.

He cocks his head to the side, ''same could be said for you. Tell me Skye, did you ever find out what makes you an 0-8-4?''

She actually takes a step back at that causing him to grin, ''maybe we'll find out soon. Would you like that?''

''You will never touch me''.

She lunges for him but he steps to the side, she grabs his arm and nearly breaks it but John shoves her so hard into the wall it causes her nose to bleed.

''You know I have to say I was pretty disappointed to find out you survived that shot''.

John shakes his head, his hand tight on her arm, ''thought I taught my boys better than that. Only good aim around here is Ward, but he'd never shoot you if I gave the order''.

All the blood drains from her face, wait John was responsible for her being shot? He's the one who planned it, told that Hydra agent to do it? Why is she surprised?

''You son of a bitch''. Skye moves to punch him but he simply tosses her to the ground.

'Shield isn't here to save you and neither is Ward. You will never leave this room''.

　

Is all he says before leaving the room, locking the door behind him.

　

Damn. Coulson is never letting her go out after this.

　

 


	20. Didn't Mean to Leave You & All the Things That We Had Behind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Skye has no idea how she's going to make it out of Garrett's base alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really enjoyed writing this one.
> 
> As always thanks for reading and commenting!

 

Ward walks into Garrett's base already irritated with how this day has gone. He hasn't slept in forty nine hours he was shot again in the shoulder three days ago and it still hurts something awful. He hasn't been able to get in touch with Skye at all these past couple weeks and that is what he's really stressing over, why he's on edge. Kebo can't either which is odd, Skye always wants to talk to him.

　

Upon further investigation Shield is not in any danger, Hydra hasn't attacked the Playground yet like John was planning. That's another thing Ward can't figure out, what does Garrett want with Shield? They found the cure he's no longer dying, Shield has served it's purpose. Unless it's about Skye but what would John want with her? Kebo is waiting for him beside the weapons room looking grim, he's playing with his fingers a sure sign he's worried.

　

''What's wrong with you?''

　

Kebo shrugs and follows him into the room, remains silent as Ward takes out every weapon in his jacket, jeans, and begins to take them apart and clean them. This relaxes him, keeps his mind steady and focused. He's always felt better with a gun in his hands. However he can feel the anxiety Kebo is currently drenched in and Ward can't stand it, looks up from the rifle in his fingers and scowls.

　

''What the hell is wrong with you? Just spit it out already. Is Skye alright?''

Kebo wrings his hands together and chuckles, it's more nervous than it is amusing.

''Define alright''. At this Ward puts the gun on the table and straightens, worry clouding him.

''Wait wait before you do anything crazy, just calm down. When I tell you this, don't freak out''.

Ward grits his teeth, ''I won't''.

''See I don't believe you''.

''Kebo for the love of god''-

''She's here''.

This makes Ward's blood turn cold. ''What?''

Kebo races after him as Ward leaves the room and heads straight for the command center, where he knows John is at.

''Boss don't freak out''.

''What the hell is she doing here?''

''Yeah I don't really know. Just that I walked in and those morons were talking about it. I think Garrett gave someone an order to take her last night''.

　

Ward sees red. That's it just all this rage and hate as he enters the command center swinging the door open so hard it crashes against the wall. He doesn't hear the loud bang it makes, doesn't care. Just focuses on John who gives him a knowing smile. ''There he is! How was your mission son?''

''Where is she John?'' Ward puts his hands on his hips and attempts to calm himself, can't have Garrett seeing how unraveled he is.

　

''Who?'' Ward wants to spit.

''Don't. You know who I'm talking about. Skye, where is she?''

Garrett claps his hands together almost as if he forgot, and gestures over to a cluster of agents a few feet away, staring at them. ''Right. Agent Phillips brought her in last night''.

Ward looks over to the agent in question who sends him a cocky smirk. ''It wasn't that hard really, she was easy. Hell she was pretty drunk though''.

　

In the back of his mind Ward registers Kebo's hand on his shoulder, how he says his name as a warning. But that red haze decends on him once again and he just reacts. Shuts it all down on the outside he looks so calm as he walks over to Agent Phillips.

''She was drunk?''

''Hell yeah''. The other man answers, a bright smile on his face.

''Picked her up at this club late last night, I think she thought I was you a few times.

Anyway she was wasted out of her mind, all I had to do was get her alone and the rest was easy''.

Grant takes a step closer to the other man who it seems all of a sudden remembers exactly who he's talking to. ''You took advantage of my wife while she was drunk''.

　

There's this edge this dark bit to Ward's tone that has every agent in the room taking a step back. Phillip tries to laugh it off but Ward presses closer.

　

''Look Ward if anything she took advantage of me man. Your wife is pretty hot, you know she does this thing with her mouth''- Grant doesn't even feel bad for breaking the other man's jaw half a second later. Doesn't care about the stinging in his knuckles, takes Phillip's now bleeding face and slams it onto the table across from them. He's out cold on the floor, Ward feels nothing as he turns back to other men in the room.

　

''Anyone else want to talk about Ward's wife?'' Kebo asks, the room is thick with silence until John starts laughing. ''Relax kid I brought her here for you. She's in the holding room across from your bedroom''. John is lying, Ward can easily tell. There's another reason entirely why Skye is here and it makes his stomach turn. Kebo exchanges an uneasy glance with Ward as he leaves the room, John is planning something. He just doesn't know what.

　

Grant's hands are shaking as he reaches the room, opens the door. The last time he saw Skye she nearly died, is she alright now? Will she think he had something to do with this? He walks in to find his wife leaning against the far wall, arms crossed feet apart. Ready for anything, May taught her well. He can tell she was probably expecting Garrett, she wasn't prepared to see Ward. Her eyes go wide for a moment, then her fists clench.

　

''Are you alright? Are you hurt?''

　

There's a smidge of dried blood underneath her nose, like she quickly scraped it away but missed a bit. She looks like she had too much to drink the night before, bags heavy under her brown eyes. If he didn't know her so well he'd have no idea she was afraid right now, but he does, and she is. When was the last time he saw her frightened of anything? When he took a bullet for her? When she came to that safe house thinking he was dead?

　

That warmth in her voice when he woke up to find her softly sleeping next to him, the adoration the love in her eyes after they slept together, is gone now. That hateful expression is back and it floors him, what is he supposed to do? Is she angry with him because she's here? Skye continues to glare at him as he closes the door, notes the camera in the corner of the wall. Garrett and his men are watching this right now, laughing more than likely.

　

Grant steps closer to her, hesitant, and she recoils like a snake about to strike. He places his hands out in front of him, showing he means no harm. He would never hurt her, doesn't she know that by now? Not intentionally, not physically. ''Skye, are you hurt?''

She scoffs, relaxes just a bit her muscles shift. ''Am I alright? Are you serious? What you kidnapped me again? When are you going to learn that never works for you?''

　

''Skye I had nothing to do with this''.

　

He wants to ask where Shield was when she was taken, they're supposed to protect her because he's not in the picture to do so anymore. She doesn't believe him, takes a deep breath and puts a hand on her stomach.

''Skye I swear to you I didn't even know you were here. I just got back from a mission''.

''You swearing things to me, doesn't mean a damn thing anymore. How can I trust you after what you did?''

　

There's fresh new anger in her eyes, the damaging kind that wasn't there before. Ward understands she will always hate him for what happened with Shield, which is why he sighs and looks up to the ceiling for a moment, so she can't see the guilt in his eyes.

''Skye when Shield fell I''-

''That's not what I'm talking about''. Skye looks down to her stomach and for a moment he's reminded of hospital visits and the children they will never have.

''What''-

''How could you leave me there Grant? I was dying, I needed you and you just left me in that alley''.

　

He can't actually believe what he's hearing, it makes him angry for a second, and then sad. So sad in fact that he has the sudden urge to weep, does she honestly think he would do that? She doesn't remember talking to him, covering her bloody fingers over his and telling him she wished she could understand him?

　

Those words her face, that day, will haunt him forever.

　

_''Grant I'm dying''._

　

It takes him a moment to recover, she's here next to him, she's not dead. Even if she spends the rest of their lives hating him at least she'll be breathing.

''You love me, yet you left me in that alley to die. I don't trust you I don't need you. Get the hell out''.

　

Ward can't help it he really can't, he walks over to her, wonders just for a moment what his face looks like because the fire in her eyes dulls for a second. ''You think I had a part in that? That I would let that happen to you?''

　

Ward isn't even aware of the movement of his hand until he feels her knuckles under his palm, his hand is resting over her's, on her stomach like he had so many times before.

''The man that shot you is dead. I killed him myself, I didn't leave you, did Coulson tell you that? He lied. I brought you back to the Playground I was there when the doctors said there was nothing more they could do for you, that we should just say our goodbyes. I couldn't, Skye I couldn't let you go''.

　

His free hand cups her face she doesn't push him away. He's nearly in tears he shouldn't let Garrett see him this way but Skye has to know that he would rather be shot a thousand times than haver her think he abandoned her. That if given the chance he would have taken her place.

　

''We found the serum used to bring Coulson back to life, I went on the mission to go get it. You're alive because I helped Coulson save you. I love you, Skye I would never ever let something like that happen to you''.

''I''-

''It's true. And so will be every word I say to you for the rest of my life''.

Skye's face falls and her hand comes to rest on his hip, he probably stops breathing. ''You don't know, do you?''

Skye looks sad, he doesn't understand why. ''Know what?''

　

Her fingers twitch against his shirt, does she believe him? If she never gave a crap about anything he ever said that's fine, but this, dear god he wants her to know he had nothing to do with her being shot. That he would have gone to hell and back just to save her, she has to know that.

''Kebo was right''. She mutters mostly to herself.

　

Right about what? Him? John? Who?

　

The door opens then and Ward takes a step back, knowing it's Garrett, knowing he has to slip back into the role of perfect solider instead of worried husband. He does however stick as close to Skye as he can, he trusts John with his life, but not with her's. ''See you two had a chance to catch up. That's good, now the real work can begin''. Raina steps out from behind John, they both look excited about something and that puts Ward on edge.

　

He knows exactly what kind of work Raina does, he also knows Skye in an 0-8-4 is that why she's here? Does Garrett want her? The GH-325 serum also runs in her veins, does he want that too? Is he going to have Raina pick her apart until there's nothing left? Over Ward's dead body. He doesn't even recognize his own voice when it fills the room, it's calm but there's a threat there. He will kill Raina if she even thinks about touching Skye.

　

''If you think I'm going to let you experiment on my wife John''-

''Calm down son that's not why she's here''.

　

Ward doesn't even bother to catch himself when he takes a protective stance in front of Skye, it's instinct it's what he promised he always would do. He didn't do it when it counted, when Shield fell, but he can do it now. He just can't disobey Garrett. That's against everything he knows, but how is he going to get Skye out unscathed? God where is Kebo when he needs him?

　

Garrett smiles the kind that always makes Ward weary. ''I took your wife here because she's going to help me with something''.

''If you think I'm going to help you with anything after what you did to me''. Skye spits back.

Grant has known John for nearly twenty years, so he can see when he becomes nervous for a moment, flicking his gaze over to Ward.

There's a whisper that sounds a lot like Kebo in his ear, all these weeks of suspicion clawing back to Ward's brain.

''You didn't tell your Golden Boy did you? About what you did. I guess it makes sense, you didn't want him turning on you''.

　

Ward feels like he's in the room with Skye and John but also not. Like he's watching this conversation unfold from afar and he's powerless to stop it, just stands there frozen waiting for all this to implode in front of his face.

　

''Sweetheart I have no idea what you're talking about''. Garrett says, he's lying.

　

Skye feels light headed and sick, her stomach is aching her head hurts. She's thrown off as she always is with Ward around, but after seeing the fear the desperation in his eyes, she believes him. About not leaving her to die, but why did Coulson lie about it? It's obvious she supposes, wanted her to hate Grant, to keep seeing the darkness inside him like the rest of them do. But standing here now, Skye can't see it.

　

She just sees Ward looking like a confused lost puppy, eyes jumping back and forth between her and Garrett. Does he really not know John was the one who had her shot? Doesn't look like, and then Skye wonders when she started trusting Grant again, at least where her safety and well being is concerned. She has enough faith in him to see that he wouldn't stand by and let her be hurt, nearly killed.

　

She doesn't have time to dwell or cry over the fact that he's part of the reason why she's standing here, her heart is beating. He really found the serum that saved her life, he carried her to the Playground, endangering his own life to save her's? Why is she surprised? It sounds like something he would do.

　

She moves to stand beside Ward, hoping to unfreeze the apparent block of ice he's become, brushes her fingers against his own. If she wants to get out of here in one piece she's going to need his help.

　

''Just admit it John, tell Grant what you did''.

''I''-

''Tell him that you were the one who gave the order to shoot me''.

　

The silence is so heavy in the room so loud it's the only thing she can hear. Grant takes in a sharp breath, Skye glances up to him and wants to cry. He looks so vulnerable so shocked, there's no way he could fake that. He had no idea that John did this.

　

''Now Skye''-

''Did you do it?'' There's a razor sharp edge to Ward's voice that even has her afraid.

''Son''-

''Did you give the order to have her killed?'' Ward's jaw in clenched, his hands are shaking.

''Of course I didn't. The bitch is crazy''.

Skye places her hand on Ward's back and says, ''he told me himself, before you came in. Just stood there and bragged about it''.

　

Skye isn't entirely sure what she's attempting to do here, make her husband finally see the monster that is John Garrett? Manipulate him with her words so he can get her out of here? Also why did John even tell her that? He had to of known she would tell Ward, or did he have so much faith in his boy that he didn't think it mattered? Or maybe he was going to kill her anyway and didn't think about it.

　

''Can I talk to you, outside sir?'' Ward asks, not looking at her.

''Sure son''.

　

They head to the door and Raina looks as if she's going to stay, until Ward stops in front of her and must give her a look because she's following the two men out the door. It shuts and Skye can't really make out much, but there's yelling. From John she thinks, Ward's tone is low and chilling, that she can recognize.

　

''Shooting Skye wasn't part of the plan''.

Then there's nothing at all, more than likely they walked out of ear shot.

How is she going to get out of here? Will Ward help her? The better question is, where is Kebo?

　

Everything about Ward right here and now is being held together by a tight string. It feels as though he's just waiting for someone to come with a giant pair of scissors and cut it all to pieces. He's filled with so many emotions he can't name them all, betrayal, hurt, angry, scared for his wife, angry that John was the reason she almost died in his arms. Kebo was right. Grant can't understand it, John knows how much Skye means to Ward.

　

His mentor tried to take her from him to save himself, that he gets. But this is Ward's wife this is Skye, the only woman he will ever love. And a man he trusts a man he would die for, this man who saved Ward from a hell gave him a purpose, tried to kill his wife. What is Grant supposed to do with that? For the first time in a long time, probably when he was a teenager and John left him in the woods, Grant finds himself despising John.

　

At first he tries to reject this feeling because it's wrong, Garrett deserves everything Ward can give him, all the loyalty in the world. But then he sees Skye flash before his eyes, gasping for breath choking on her own blood, lying there in that dirty alley thinking she was going to die. And all Ward did the entire time was deny John had something to do with it, he even stole the same serum used to save Skye, for John. What kind of man does that?

　

It's there standing in the middle of the room watching while John walks away, Grant wipes the blood from his lip (Garrett didn't like him speaking out in front of Raina or Skye back there) that he realizes Kebo was right this whole time. Which Ward groans at because one, Kebo is never going to let him live this down nor shut up about it, and two, isn't Kebo usually right on most occasions? Even after fifteen plus years of friendship Ward still doesn't listen.

　

''The hell happened to your face? Wait, don't answer that I already know. Is Skye alright?''

Kebo asks, walking up to Ward, beer in hand, acting as if his ear wasn't pressed up to the door listening to their conversation all this time.

''Why do you look like that? Are you alright mate? Look like you've seen a ghost''.

Ward can't feel Kebo's hand on his arm, can't feel the temperature in the room.

Can't feel anything but he can hear himself breathing, can hear John laughing a few feet away.

''Kebo I need you to get Skye out of here. I don't care how you do it, you just need to get her as far away from John as you can''.

''Are you going to help me with that or''-

''I can't''.

''Yes you can. Ward get her out of this place, go with her protect her. Screw Garrett''.

''I can't''.

''Yes you can''.

''I''-

''If you say can't one more time I swear to god''.

Ward turns to his friend who is shaking his head at him, ''it's time Ward. You're going to have to choose. Skye or John? Because I promise you if you don't, if you try and think you can have both just like last time, one of them is going to die here. I can promise you that''.

Kebo chugs the rest of his beer before continuing, ''you get to decide who that's going to be''.

　

Skye or John? It really shouldn't even be much of a choice, a question.

　

But it is.

　

It always has been.

　

 


	21. The Night Was Full of Terrors, & Your Eyes Were Filled With Tears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is purely a flashback to the day Shield fell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here be the pain.
> 
> Um this one even made me sad, so there you go.
> 
> The next chapter we'll catch back up to Skye & Ward again in present time.

 

 

 

 

 

>  

Skye remembers hearing the saying 'betrayal never comes from your enemies, but from your loved ones' once, maybe in a movie or book as she was passing through. It hardly ever applied to her life, until the day Shield fell. From that day on the phrase stuck with her, a constant reminder of that awful day, it was like someone switched the Apocalypse button to 'on'.

　

She wakes to an empty bed because Ward left four days ago on an undercover up and neither of them have any idea when he'll be back. She showers after checking her phone, no new messages no emails from any co-workers asking to update a system or hack into a drive. Skye showers missing her husband, makes coffee and misses him even more. She's gotten better about him being on missions over the years but it's still not easy when he's gone.

　

Switching on the TV as she leans against the kitchen counter, Ward's shirt around her smelling strongly of him, Skye sips her coffee. The news pops up and at first it's all a blur of falling buildings and people running. Skye watches as the news anchor explains that Shield is under attack by Hydra, an organization believed to be long dead. She stands there not moving fear trailing up her spine, not understanding.

　

She watches as the US government denounces Shield, informing the public that the organization is on their own. Skye sees them claim Captain America is a wanted criminal, that Nick Fury is dead. Skye picks up her phone with shaking hands about to call Ward, Coulson or May, anyone she can trust. A message blinks on the screen saying to come into the Triskelion, Hydra probably assuming she wasn't aware of what was going on.

　

She can't think about how the only place she calls home has been destroyed right now, she just needs to see if the people she loves are safe. Ward doesn't pick up the phone neither does Fitz or Simmons, Coulson, nor May. What if they're in danger or, or what if they're hurt or dead? Skye almost let's the panic the fear over take her until she realizes maybe she can do something about it. If she can sneak into the Triskelion, maybe she can any remaining Shield agents out.

　

Slipping into auto pilot because she doesn't have time to think of the reality of this situation otherwise she'll curl into a ball and cry, she goes to the closet for a bullet proof vest, trying not to think about the fact that Ward is going to be so pissed when he finds out she's doing this, makes a note to get the gun and ICER he has hidden in the living room and kitchen, when her phone rings.

　

Heart in her stomach she nearly starts crying when Grant's number flashes across the screen. ''Grant?''

''Skye are you alright?'' She sighs in relief closing her eyes letting his voice wash over her, the love of her life is okay, he's alive.

''Oh my god baby please tell me you're safe, it's like World War Three over here''.

Ward pauses on the other line, she hears a muffled sound. ''Skye are you at home?''

''Yes. Ward I can't get a hold of Coulson or Fitzsimmons''.

''I'm sure they're fine. Skye I need you to listen to me''-

''Are you coming home? Where are you? I'm triyng not to freak out over here but what the actual hell is going on?''

Grant is not at all calm or put together like he probably looks. ''Skye''.

''Grant''-

''No matter what happens I need you to remember that I love you''.

''Ward what's-''

''There's no time to explain. You need to get somewhere safe alright? Don't move until I come find you''.

''Grant what's going on?''

She hears him take a deep breath, he pauses. ''I'm going to give you a set of coordinates and I need you to''-

　

Skye never does get to hear the rest of what he said.

　

Because their front door is suddenly kicked in and the small house is suddenly overwhelmed by men in tactical gear. Skye drops the phone moves to get the ICER hidden under the kitchen table, Fitz would be proud, when she's grabbed from behind and the rest of the world fades into nothing.

　

They must have knocked her out because the next time she wakes, there's something dark over her eyes. Feeling as if she's suffocating Skye tries to fight it, get what she assumes is the bag over her head, off. But she's not alone, someone, a male, curses loudly and strikes her across the face. Not being able to see is a problem of course, but whoever this man is is close enough for her to smell the blood and whiskey on his breath.

　

So blindly she kicks out and he cries in pain, cursing her again. Skye knows even being temporarily without sight, that this has to be Hydra. They kindnapped her, but why? She's not a high ranking agent, she's barely a blip on their radar. They have clearly overtaken Shield so it's not like they would need her to hack into anything.

　

''You do something like that again and I don't care what the order is to leave you unharmed, I will kill you''. The man says, spitting her general direction. Gross.

　

With ice in her bones Skye feels like perhaps this has something to do with Ward.

　

He's the best Shield has ever seen since the Black Widow, did they take her to get to him? Skye knows with every inch of her body that he will do whatever it takes to make sure she's safe, even turn himself in to be tortured or killed by these people. Suddenly more afraid for her husband than herself, Skye blinks back tears. When she was at the orphanage Skye had more faith than she does now, used to believe in a god of love.

　

She hasn't prayed in so many years but quietly to herself, Skye prays to whoever could be listening. That Ward is okay that he won't do anything stupid (that's futile wishing but still) that he will make it out of this alive, that Coulson, May, and Fitzsimmons are unharmed in safe place somewhere. After a few minutes her anxiety isn't any better but she's not freaking out, which is an improvement.

　

She's in a vehicle which stops eventually, juding by the soreness in her limbs they've probably been driving for a while. Two sets of hands drag her out, she falters a little when her bare feet touch sidewalk but they haul her up so she can walk. They pass through a door and then another, Skye feels the chill of the A.C. brush her bare legs. She's really wishing she was wearing more than Ward's dark grey Henley and underwear, it's not like she was expecting the freaking world to end, but still.

　

Skye feels vulnerable, exposed her skin is crawling with the gazes of however many men are with her. They take the bag off her head at first she's blinded by the lights in this large room. The first thing she sees are various weapons on a huge steel table, there are dozens of agents inside this bland faceless room. There's a large monitor to her left hanging on the wall, every news channel running on it.

　

Other than a couple of extra doors, there's not much to this massive place she's in. It has to be base, it's not a safe house. There are a few chairs in front of her but the men keep her standing in place, hands on her shoulders. One of the doors to the right opens up and Skye takes a step back, totally not who she was expecting. John Garrett is smiling at her, a few more Hydra agents behind him.

　

Holy crap, Garrett, John Garrett is Hydra? That's not possible, it's wrong. Coulson talked about hiim all the time, praising him even for his perfect flawless bleeding for Shield-ness. It's a blow to the chest when Skye also remembers Garrett was Ward's SO, this is going to destroy him when he finds out. Seeing John confirms her earlier suspicions, she was taken because of Grant. Why else would John do it?

　

What easier way to take out Grant than to bring his wife here?

　

''Well well well it's so good to see you again Skye''. Garrett purs, sticking out a hand like she's supposed to shake it, like she's going to be happy to see him. Skye glares at his fingernails before backing away, attempting at least but the hands on her shoulders keep her rooted to the spot.

''Oh come on honey don't be like that, you don't have to be afraid of me I promise. No one is going to hurt you''.

''Coming from the Hydra agent''.

Garrett claps his hands together and laughs, ''you're smart. Look if it makes you feel any better I'm not entirely a die hard fan, but if the shoe fits''.

''Go to hell''. John drags a finger down her cheek and Skye wants to spit in his stupid face. ''All in due time sweetheart. Now shall we begin''-

　

''Skye?''

　

Garrett isn't the only one who turns quickly at the voice behind him, Skye cranes around because that's Ward. They got to him already? Are they going to hurt her right in front of him? At that thought she's shaking and beginning to struggle with the hands holding her, begging to that god again to not let that happen. Grant has been through so much pain he doesn't need anymore, he doesn't need to watch her die and he can't do a thing about it.

　

She's expecting him to be chained to a wall or restrained by countless agents, his gorgeous face a little battered and bloody even. But that's not what happens. He appears unharmed as he walks towards her and Garrett, his face blank. There's fear there so much fear it's practically rolling off him in heavy dark waves.

''What the helll is this John?''

''Kid''-

Ward shoves past Garrett and nods to the men holding her, but they don't release her.

　

There's a pause, a stand off, where Ward glares at them and they glare at him, their hands loosen just a tad. Then it's over. Not even a second has passed before three of them are on unconcious on the ground and the other two have bullets in them. Honestly Skye wants to care but she just can't. Ward reaches for her and she breathes his name, crashing into his chest. Feels his free arm tuck the gun back in the back of his jeans before wrapping around her.

　

He moves them so they are behind a pillar, no one can see them. Skye breathes in the smell of his shirt, roams her hands across his back his chest, in his hair making sure he's alright that he's not bleeding. Grant is holding her too tight but she doesn't say anything, just stands on her toes to kiss him, asking in between her lips on his if he's alright. Isn't aware she's crying until his thumbs wipe them away.

　

''Skye look at me''. She opens her eyes his whiskey ones burning into her's, he's still afraid. Of course he is they're surrounded by Hydra agents. But if anyone can beat these odds, it's her husband.

''Grant Hydra, they've''-

''I know. I know. We're getting out of here''. He bends down to kiss her forehead before running his hands down her arms. It's then he must notice her attire because he scowls, takes off his black leather jacket and wraps it around her.

　

Maybe to reassure himself but she can't imagine why, fiddles with the wedding band and engagement ring on her finger, he gives her a look she can't read.

''Skye, I love you. More than I've ever loved anyone, I need you to know that''. She doesn't like his tone, it makes her afraid.

She cups his face so he has to look at her, ''I know. Grant I love you, how are we going to get past all those agents?'' Grant looks so sad in that moment it throws her off.

　

''Oh Ward don't keep her all to yourself back there. Come out here and introduce me to your wife, you know the one you never told me about''. Garrett calls, Skye feels a shudder ripple through Ward against her. He meets her eyes one more time, kisses her forehead, and together hand in hand, they step into the lion's den. Garrett is standing there with his arms crossed, but still smiling, it's not a kind one. Like he knows something Skye doesn't.

　

''There she is. Tell me Skye, what is it about you that would make my boy here lie to me? He never does by the way, so what was it? Did you just open your legs and''-

''John''.

At Grant's tone Garrett narrows his eyes, ''what was that? Do you have something to say?'' Ward tightens his hold on Skye's hand, his jaw clenched when he responds, ''no sir''.

Skye feels like she's missing something here, but can't pin what it is.

　

Last she heard about Ward and Garrett's relationship was that they obviously weren't as close as they were before, but still kept in contact occasionally. But looking at them in the flesh she can tell there's something between them, that the rumors about their fall out were in fact just rumors. Shouldn't Ward look more upset that the man he's known for years has turned out to be an enemy? A Hydra agent of all things, perhaps he's just hiding it.

　

Locking all his emotions down until the mission is over, so he can get them out safe and sound. It makes sense, it's what he's been trained to do. ''Anyway as I was saying, Skye have you spoken to any of your friends today? I would love to know if Coulson made it through''.

''Coulson is going to kill you when he finds out what you are''. Skye snarls back, and Ward shifts so he's in front of her just a bit more, hiding half her body from view.

　

John just laughs, Skye watches as the tension in Ward's shoulders intensifies, his whole body is stiff and straight, if he tries any harder he could break. Skye feels a pang in her chest knowing how awful this must be for him and runs her hand down his back, but it does nothing to relax his muscles.

　

''You mean what we are''. John responds to her earlier statement about Coulson, and Ward hisses out John's name again almost like a warning. Her confusion only grows when she leans around her husband to find Garrett still standing there but this time cleaning a gun, hardly looking a them. Why isn't Grant doing anything? They should be running out of here not listening to the obviously crazy man talk even more shit.

　

''What are you talking about?'' Skye asks, a voice in the back of her mind starting to whisper unspeakable horrors, she fights it off but it's still there.

John lifts his eyes from the weapon first smirking at Ward, who strangles out ''please don't do this'', then turning to her.

''Tell me Skye, how are your science friends Fitz and Simmons?'' She moves to do something to him her brain not thinking rationally, maybe punch the information out of him.

　

But Ward grabs her around the waist from behind and pins her to his chest. His lips in her ear saying to calm down to please stop, his entire body is beginning to shake. It startles her because Ward is never afraid in tense situations, even if he is he never let's it show. What's so different about this? What has him so unraveled? And what the hell does Garrett know about Fitz and Simmons? ''What did you do to them you monster?''

　

There's this sinister look on John's face then when he replies, ''oh honey I didn't do anything. Ask your husband''.

''And why would I do that?'' Ward's arms around her suddenly become like chains but she doesn't demand he let her go.

Garrett simply smiles at her and calmly responds as if they're discussing the weather, ''because he's the one who killed them. Oh don't worry, they were brave until their last breath''.

　

Skye is aware of two things; one that all the air seems to rush out of Grant in a woosh, and two, that she instantly is denying John's words. No. No way would Grant even think about hurting their friends, he's a Shield agent he loves Fitzsimmons, he'd rather die a thousand deaths than ever harm them.

She looks up at him while Garrett says with humor in his voice, ''did I forget to mention my boy over there is Hydra too? Oops. Hail Hydra''.

　

The look on Ward's face as he meets her gaze, breaks her heart. She'll remember it for the rest of her life.

　

She's waiting for Grant to say it. Roll his eyes at the thought of being Hydra. Tell her to not believe all the lies spilling out of Garrett's mouth, to kiss away her paranoia. But then it hits her. How he's not in handcuffs like any other Shield agent would be right now, there's no one hovering over him as a guard. Garrett doesn't seem bothered at all by Grant's presence. Doesn't care that there's an expertly trained killer in front of him with no security detail.

　

Ward releases her but her body is drawn to him, waiting for that denial to come. But it never does. He doesn't say anything, just looks down at her sadly as she places her hands on his chest.

''Grant what is he talking about? I know you, I know you would never hurt Fitz and Simmons. I know you aren't Hydra you can't be, just tell me what's going on. Please''.

Her voice is calm betraying the storm of emotions she's feeling right now.

　

it's not true it can't be true, not pictute perfect Shield agent Grant Ward, he's not a traitor. He's her husband, who drinks black coffee and likes to watch the sun rise from the porch. The man who loves dogs and to cuddle with her at night. Who climbed out of the abuse his family put him through and made something of himself, became a Shield agent who would die for the cause. Who loves his wife so much he can hardly stand it sometimes.

　

Grant Ward who watches football games with her not because he loves the sport but because she does, and he'll do anything to make her happy. For some reason their wedding day flashes through her mind in this second, how she and Ward promised themselves to one another, to love each other no matter what. Their wedding night with his hands on her skin and him promising he'd protect and cherish her always.

　

''Skye I need you to listen to me, okay? Please, can you do that?'' Ward is holding her face now desperation in his cheekbones though she doesn't understand why, he has nothing to hide.

Right?

''I wanted to tell you, every single day I wanted to tell you but I couldn't''. Everything just simply falls. Almost as if she's watching the scene unfold before her like she's someone else, a stranger looking in on the outside.

　

Ward is coming apart at the seams his hands shaking, Garrett is standing there watching him with a gleefull expression like he triumphs from Ward's pain. And Skye is standing there between it all triyng to make sense of this impossible situation. Is Grant trying to tell her he's been lying all this time? For the past six years, he's been what? Undercover for Hydra? Is that what he's saying? Skye can't see past the hot layer of tears in her eyes.

　

Because yes, that's exactly what he's saying.

　

''You're Hydra''. Skye hears herself say but the words pull at her throat burning on the way out. Associating Ward with Hydra feels wrong because it is wrong. There has to be some mistake some kind of mix up this isn't real this isn't happening. Ward doesn't deny it. Just keeps looking at her with that puppy dog expression he's perfected over the years, Skye is already slipping away from him and he couldn't get her back if he wanted to.

　

She takes a step back shaking her head. ''Tell me it's not true Ward''.

''I can't''.

''Tell me you didn't hurt Fitz and Simmons''.

Guilt overwhelms his face, ''I can't do that either Skye. Just listen to me okay? Just let me explain''.

''Explain what?'' She throws up her hands lashing out, it's too much she can't handle this. ''Please explain to me what the hell Garrett is talking about! The Ward that I know would never hurt his friends, he would never hurt me.

And he sure as hell would never ever be Hydra. So tell me then, explain this to me''.

He takes a step towards her and Skye holds up a hand, ''don't''.

　

The sorrow in his face is so strong it would bring him to his knees if he wasn't who he is. ''Skye I was on a mission''.

''All this time everything we've been through. Why, how could you?''

''You don't understand''. She snaps. Isn't even in control of her body anymore.

　

''You lying bastard, son of a bitch you liar!'' He grabs her wrists when she lunges for him (Skye has never been prone to violence but nothing makes sense anymore.)

''Stop, it's over Skye. You can't win''. She head butts him, it honestly wasn't even her intention it just happened. The strong grip on her wrists doesn't lessen when he goes to wipe the blood from his nose. Off to the side Garrett laughs but the couple ignores him.

　

''I don't know you anymore. I don't know who the hell my husband is''.

Using her wrists as leverage Ward pulls her to him and says, ''yes you do. Skye I'm a spy, my mission with Shield it wasn't personal''.

She reels, ''You did not just say that! It wasn't personal?''

''Skye listen to me''. Ward's voice is soft, he bends down slightly to cup her cheek with his free hand but she moves her face away.

''The only time I wasn't myself was when I was with Shield. But with you, Skye you woke up a weakness inside me, and for the first time in a while I wanted something for myself''.

　

Ward knows there's no point now in trying to hide that from Garrett, he knew the second he found out about Skye, she was his weakness. Just like Fitz and Simmons. Skye is shaking her head tears streaming down her face, her body trembling beside his.

　

''You're a liar''.

''Skye''-

''You've been lying to me for six years''.

''I wanted to tell you, but I couldn't. Skye please just''-

''God I can't even look at you right now''.

　

Not even caring about anything everything inside is just numb, she tears herself away from him, walks over to the nearest wall and slides down, the floor hard and cold underneath her legs. She can't feel anything, not the all out crippling pain at her husband betraying her and their friends.

　

Not the burning realization that this has all been a lie for six long years. She doesn't even know the man she married. He's a murderer, a traitor. Who knows how many people he's killed, all the lies he's told. He doesn't love her, you don't lie to someone that long if you really truly loved them. It was all just part of his cover, her, agent Grant Ward, everything was just a lie. How did she not see it, how did no one see it?

　

Skye's fingers go to the rings on her left hand and it physicaly hurts to look at them, weights pressing down on her chest she can't breathe. She can feel Ward's eyes on her, against her will she looks up and begins to cry again at the look on his face. Like he's just lost everything he's ever wanted. (He has.) Skye wipes her eyes and looks down at the diamonds on her finger, all this pain and hate rippling through her chest.

　

She takes them off and holds them out in in front of her. Remembers the day Grant put them on and kissed her skin, how many times he's done that over the years. It's all tainted now, meaningless. He's not her husband just a stranger and she believed him. Believed in his lies, in the love he doesn't have for her. God she gave him everything and what did he do with it? Played her into thinking he was genuine, someone real she could trust.

　

Feeling sick and beyong hurt beyond anything, Skye throws back her arm and chunks the rings across the room. They bounce off the floor the sound the loudest in the room, it just makes the tears fall faster down her face. She's got her head in her hands so she can't see Ward approach, but suddenly there's a hand on her knee and Skye jerks away. He's crouching in front of her so close to her she can feel his body heat, smell his cologne.

　

She bought him a new bottle for his birthday three months ago, she could laugh about it now but can't find it in herself to do. Skye stares at her husband who was never really her husband at all, the hate must show on her face because he winces. Holds out his hand and her wedding rings are there, she gapes at him.

''Skye please, please don't do this to us''. Is he serious? Is he trying to blame their now deteriorating marriage on her?

''You going to kill me now?'' She asks, does her voice really sound so lifeless?

Ward seems so appalled at the question almost as if he'd rather die himself than have any harm come to her. ''What? No''.

Skye cocks her head to the side anger slipping out, ''why not? I'm a Shield agent you're a Hydra agent. Isn't that what you're supposed to do if I don't submit?"

''No one is going to hurt you, Skye stop this. Okay? I love you, it's still me, I'm still in love with you''.

She shakes he head, ''god you might actually believe that. You're not real Ward, the man that I married is a lie''.

''No, no it isn't Skye''-

''You don't love me you can't love me. You are a serial killer''.

He moves back at her words like she's physically hurt him. Sees the anguish in his eyes, and can't feel a thing. ''Oh she hates you. I got to say I'm actually surprised she turned on you so quickly''. Garrett speaks up, Skye just turns away from him and Ward.

　

How is she going to get out of here now?

　

Ward moves away from her after that, her rings resting beside her thigh, Grant slinks back over to John. They start arguing in heated tones but she can't make out what they're saying. Skye hasn't even begun to process all of this yet, reality hasn't hit her full force. Her friends are probably dead, her husband is a traitor, she's knee deep in a base full of Hydra agents. What are they going to do to her? What purpose does she even serve by being here?

　

She gets it then, why Garrett had her brought here. One to make her see Ward for who he really is, and two, to torture Grant and amuse himself all at the same time. John Garrett is a sick sick man. Skye looks up when she hears the door open, mostly because she needs to see if more agents are coming in. She doesn't trust Ward anymore so she's going to have to try and get out of here by herself.

　

The last person she expects to walk through the door is Kebo. In a light leather jacket holding a flask, looking worried out of his mind. Almost like she's wearing bright Christmas lights Kebo's gaze immediately falls on her. This small sliver of relief settles in her bones just at seeing him, and before she knows it Skye is running across the room into his waiting arms. She's crying into his warm shoulder and he's shushing her quietly, hand stroking her hair.

　

Someone clears their throat and Kebo pulls back, one hand holding her chin to tilt her face up. ''Did they hurt you?'' She opens her mouth to respond but nothing comes out.

''Right stupid question. I'm going to get you out of here cupcake, alright? Just hold on for a moment''. Skye nods and Kebo puts the flask up, sighs dramatcially before turning to Ward and Garrett.

''The bloody hell is wrong with you Ward?''

''Kebo don't start''.

''Don't take that tone with me''.

''You really don't want to push me right now''. Ward's voice sends shivers down Skye's spine.

''Or what? We both know you won't shoot me, I'm your only friend''.

''What are you even doing here Kebo? You're supposed to be in Boston''. John growls, Skye can tell he doesn't like Kebo much. Kebo ingores the other man entirely, just stares disapprovingly at Grant.

''Since you didn't have the balls do to it yourself Ward, I went to your house to check on Skye. But I was too late and Garrett had already taken her. So we'll be leaving now''.

　

Kebo turns and takes her hand, winks at her before moving to the door. A gun is cocked and Skye looks to see Garrett pointing it at them, while Ward looks torn and frozen. ''That's not happening. Let the girl go Kebo and maybe I won't kill you''.

Kebo just rolls his eyes, ''good luck with that John. Ward won't let that happen''.

''You have too much faith in him''. John says and Kebo responds, ''funny I was going to say the same thing about you. Ward come with us, you don't need this twisted son of a bitch''.

Grant looks at Skye and turns back to John. A moment passes Ward shows no sign of moving to which Kebo groans. ''Damn. Well I guess the only way you'll be free of that monster is if he's dead''.

He turns to Skye so no one can see, pulls a gun out from his jacket, hands it to her. ''I'm not going to feel bad for what's about to happen''.

''And what's that?'' John asks, gun still up. Kebo smiles at the two men but there's no emotion behind it. As if someone was waiting on his words as a signal, the base rumbles and every agent runs into actions as alarms go off.

''Kebo what the hell did you do?'' Ward asks putting a hand on John's arm.

''I called Coulson, told him where to find Skye''.

''You did?'' Skye asks, Kebo takes her hand, ''of course I did''.

　

Ward starts walking over to them and Kebo tells him to back off, he doesn't until Skye steps up and aims the gun for his heart. Shocks plays out over his face then pain, then acceptance. He doesn't pull out his own gun like they all know he could, instead his arms just hang lose at his sides as he stares at her.

　

''Skye, I love you. I do''. ''Don't''. Her finger is on the trigger but she just can't do it, no matter how much she hates him now.

　

The base rumbles again, this time a few Shield agents Skye doesn't recongize fliter through one of the back doors. Ward notices them too of course and quickly pulls John to his side, shoving him against the spray of bullets and behind one of the concrete pillars. Kebo does the same to her but instead of firing at Shield he's taking shots at Hydra. Skye hears Ward yell something at John before the fight dies altogether and the room is silent once more.

　

She removes herself from the pillar to see John leaving out one of the doors Ward behind him. Kebo is gone too but that's only because she demanded he go, Shield would throw him in jail if they found him. Ward turns to her and just stands there looking at her. The past flowing between them all the good times the bad, she just can't believe it. Here is her husband her best friend the father of her unborn children, leaving her.

　

Skye hears Coulson calling her name, she turns to his voice and when she looks back, Ward is gone. She's alone in the room. Every Hydra agent is gone.

　

She's sitting on the ground her wedding rings in hand when Coulson finds her. Skye starts sobbing the minute he sits down next to her, puts an arm around her shoulders.

　

''He's Hydra, Ward he''- ''I know, I'm so sorry Skye''.

　

　

A few hours later she's standing in a gas station bathroom with Trip, they're on the way to a new secret Shield base but Skye had to make a pit stop first.

''You sure you want to do this baby girl?'' He asks as Skye wipes at her eyes.

She tosses the rings in the women's toliet, watches as they sink down before pulling the handle and they disappear altogether.

　

She will never forgive Ward.

 


	22. Darling, Can't You See? I'm A Broken Man With Addictive Tendencies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It all comes down to a choice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to warn you, this story is drawing to a close.
> 
> Also a warning, this chapter contains mentions of abuse, and actions. If you can't read it, I understand.

 

Skye paces back and forth in the small room her head pounding. Everything may be blurry but she knows one thing for sure, one thing that's been bugging her for weeks, Ward didn't leave her in that alley. He had nothing to do with being shot, he saved her. Why she expected or doubted otherwise, she doesn't know. Of course he did. There's one thing Skye doesn't doubt, ignoring that little bit in the beginning, Ward loves her. He always has.

　

He just loves John more, which is why she's so bitter.

　

It makes sense she supposes, with everything Garrett did to him. John made sure Ward was never loyal to anyone else, was never attached to anyone but him. Anything else was viewed as a weakness. What kind of monster does that to a person? It also serves as a problem here, how is she getting out of here? Can she count on Ward to help or is she going to have to do it herself? How long has she been here anyway? Coulson has to be looking for her by now.

　

Skye chews on her thumb nail her legs starting to ache from all the pacing. She's worried about Ward, if Garrett hurt him. It's with crystal clear clarity that bring her moving legs to a stop that she realizes, the hate she's felt for Ward all these long months doesn't burn like it used to. Oh it's still there she'll never forgive what he did, she's still bitter about him lying and not choosing her in the end.

　

But she can honestly say now that she doesn't hate him like she used to, the all consuming wanting to shoot him in the face way. When did that happen?

　

The door opens loudly and dramtically, banging against the wall and everything. Despite the crappy situation the person brings a smile to Skye's face. ''Aw, you came to bust me out of this hell hole''.

Kebo shuts the door and tosses a silver flask her way. ''I didn't actually, well maybe I don't know yet. Depends on if your dumb husband gets his shit together or not''.

Skye takes a sip out of the flask expecting whiskey or vodka, but it's water.

She raises an eyebrow to Kebo who responds, ''don't look at me like that. You got wasted last night the last thing you need is more alcohol''.

Skye groans and takes another swing, ''don't remind me''. Kebo chuckles and leans against the wall, another flask in his hand but she'd bet her life water isn't in his.

''Did you really make out with some random dude?''

''In my defense I was drunk''.

''Yeah okay he's the one who brought you in actually''. Skye shouldn't be surprised but she is. ''Why does every man that I kiss end up being Hydra?''

Kebo laughs, ''if it makes you feel better Ward broke his jaw, and the rest of his face actually I think''.

She stills, uncomfortable with the fact that Ward knows about last night. No matter what has happened now, they were married once. Still are, she feels like she cheated on him.

Kebo noticing her facial expression gasps, a wide smile taking over his face. ''Oh my god. You still love him don't you? I knew it! I told him a dozen times! I'm going to tell him. Though it might short circut his entire brain and maybe he'll finally get his head out of Garrett's ass''.

''Kebo stop being dramatic''-

''Impossible''.

''There was nothing on my face for to you tell, god''.

''Wow who's being the dramatic one now?''

''Just drop it''.

''I can't. I saw that look on your face. You feel guilty for sucking that guy's face. Which means you still care about Ward''.

Skye glances over to the camera on the wall, if Garrett is watching she doesn't want to give him anymore ammo.

''If you're worried about John don't be, he's barking some orders to some sorry Hydra agents who still listen to his crap''.

''Where's Ward?''

''I don't know Princesss, probably running some errand for Garrett''.

Kebo drains the contents in his flask, gestures for Skye to do the same. ''So did any of your Shield friends see you go off with that guy last night?''

''I don't know. I wasn't paying attention to them, I doubt it. The last place they expected me to be was in a back alley kissing someone''.

Kebo rubs at his forehead, ''it doesn't matter I guess. Coulson is looking for you now I bet, which is exactly what John wants''.

''Why?''

　

Because Garrett is nothing if not dramatic, he comes into the room with Raina and Ward at his heels. Skye looks at her husband who's face is blank giving nothing away, just the way John likes him. He won't meet her eyes, his gaze focused and ready on John. ''So I'm sure you're wondering why you're here honey''. Skye doesn't respond, Kebo takes a step closer to her, not liking where this is going.

　

John smiles and glances over to Ward who doesn't return the gesture.

''I have a plan and I need your help to achieve it Skye''.

She scoffs and crosses her arms, ''if you think I am going to help you with anything''-

''Oh but that's the fun part. Because you are, you're going to help me get into the Playground''.

Skye actually laughs and after a beat Kebo does too, no one joins them. Ward shoots Kebo a warning look but it's ignored.

Skye rolls her eyes at John, ''part of me wants you in the Playground just so I can see May destroy you. She will tear you apart the second you step foot into our base. But if you think I'm going to risk the lives of my friends and every other Shield agent by letting you walk in there, you're wrong. I will never give you what you want''.

　

She doesn't see Ward tense, doesn't see the look he and Kebo exchange.

John however doesn't seem upset by her at all, she gets why a few seconds later when Raina starts smiling. ''You will help me Skye, if not I'll get the pleasure of making you talk. There are ways to make that happen''.

Before she can respond or even blink, there's a wall of Ward in front of her, blocking her from view. ''John you can't''.

''Sure I can. And you aren't going to a damn thing about it''.

''John I told you where the Playground is, that's all you need. I'll take a team there myself and get what you need''.

Skye can't see Garrett's face but his tone takes on a soft note when he responds, ''I know you would. And that's Plan B. But this is how we're going to get all the information on the Playground''.

''I already gave that to you''.

''It wasn't enough. I need your girl to hack into it for me, show me all the weapons and equipment they have. Get me inside, you can't do that''.

''I can go right now and get all of that for you, you know I can''.

''Of course I do son. But without your wife we can't get through the front door. She's going to do that for me''.

Skye leans around Ward's body to glare at Garrett, ''no I won't''.

He smiles, ''then I'm going to enjoy what happens next. Flowers, go get the lab ready''.

''Of course''. Raina leaves after giving Skye a sickly sweet smile.

''Now Ward stop being an idiot and stand aside''.

　

There's a pause where no one really knows what Grant is going to do. Garrett seems to think Ward is just going to let him torture his wife, Skye and Kebo know that isn't going to happen. Which makes them both terrified for him.

　

''No''. It's just one word, one tiny little word said a billion times a day. But it means the world, it means life or death in this situation.

　

It's more than likely the first time Garrett has ever heard it come from Ward's mouth. Grant starts visibly shaking in front of her, like he can't quite believe he said what he did. Leaning around Ward again, Skye can tell that Garrett is shocked as well. Kebo moves a little closer to Ward, hand on his gun just in case.

　

''What did you just say to me?'' Grant's sharp intake of breath is so loud in this tiny room, the back of his neck starts to sweat.

''You're not touching her John''.

　

Ward's voice is steady, you wouldn't be able to tell he was falling apart just by his voice. Is this the first time he's disobeyed John? Trying to comfort him Skye places her hand on the small of Grant's back and starts rubbing small cirlces and patters, hopes it reassures him, maybe calms him. It doesn't work. John's face goes slack with disbelief for a moment, then the black fire in his eyes returns.

　

''I'm going to give you one chance Ward to change your answer''.

　

Grant moves so he's in front of Skye once more shielding her for what Garrett has planned, and she's never been more afraid for him like she is now. She's not the only one, Kebo puts his hand on Ward's arm and glares at Garrett.

　

''Here's what's going to happen John, you're going to let us walk out of here, and maybe I won't kill you. You aren't getting your hands on Ward or Skye''.

　

John actually laughs before snapping his fingers, Skye only registers how Ward braces himself before the door is swung open. A swarm of Hydra agents fills the room and Skye is expecting them to make a grab for her but they don't. They head straight for Kebo, who is the only one who stood a chance against Garrett doing whatever he was planning to do with Ward. Grant himself is torn between helping Kebo and protecting Skye.

　

If he moves away from her for even a second Garrett could grab her, she's too hungover to strung out to put up a decent fight they all know it. Which is why Kebo isn't angry at Grant when the agents grab him and hold him down. ''Oh I can't wait until Ward kicks all of your asses. Boss don't let them pour out my alcohol''. Skye tries to grab the gun she knows is tucked into the back of Ward's jeans, but he snatches her wrist and shoves it away.

　

The door closes, it's just her Ward and Garrett. Skye feels nerves begin to tingle in her arms, she knows Ward will protect her. But at what cost? He won't kill John but he won't let her die either. What's his plan?

　

Garrett locks the door and rolls up the sleeves of his shirt, shaking his head at Ward almost looking somber. ''Oh Grant I had hoped you grew out of your little crush by now. Skye is a weakness, or did you forget about that?''

　

Grant doesn't respond, but Skye notices he's not shaking anymore. ''She hates you Ward, everyone you've ever cared about can't stand you because of what you are. You're a murderer, remember? Skye will never forgive you for all the things you've done, she will never love you. All you have is me and you choose now to say no to me? You owe me everything Grant, I made you, you would be dead if it weren't for me''.

　

''I know''.

　

Grant's voice is cold, no life in it. Skye can't believe what she's hearing. Kebo was right. Ward may not know it but Garrett has been brain washing him since he was a teen, what kind of monster does that? ''You're a monster''. She tells him, her hand on Ward's back again. If it comes down to it even though she's not at her best, she'll protect Grant from John. She could laugh at this situation.

　

If you told her nine months ago she'd be defending her husband against the very man who caused a majority of this betrayal in her life, she wouldn't have believed you. Skye never sees it coming. One second she and Garrett are glaring at each other Ward in between them still as a statue, and then Skye is standing across the room in shock. Did Grant push her out of the way at the last possible second?

　

John hit him. Just swung back his fist like he does it all the time and punched Grant in the mouth. Ward doesn't even look like it bothered him, just stands there still, his breathing even, not looking at her. The second time he does it Skye isn't aware of her movements she just lunges for Garrett, only to be shoved back once again by Ward. John it seems finds this amusing as he cracks his knuckles.

　

''Oh so you're protecting him now? Isn't that interesting, thought you hated him''.

''I hate you''.

She spits, tries to pry Grant's hand from her arm so he can hold her back, but it's no use.

''Tell me Skye, you must already know that I'm no longer dying right?''

''Unfortunately''.

''And how do you think we accomplished that?'' Skye shrugs while trying to get a look at Ward's bleeding lip but he won't let her.

　

In fact his body language has changed again, he's stiff as a board but his hands have started shaking. ''John''. Ward's whispered beg is ignored by the other man, Skye has a bad feeling she already knows what he's about to say. ''You see you thought Ward only found one miracle drug for you, to save your life. But what if I told you he stole another one for me? While you were holding onto dear life back at Shield he saved me too''.

　

She's waiting for that familiar bitterness to creep inside her body. That all consuming hatred to flow through her blood whenever she sees or thinks about Ward. But it doesn't. In fact this information does not surprise her at all. Is she upset by it? Yes. But she realizes she understands why he did it, though it does not excuse the action it explains it. She's not going to crucify Grant for it.

　

To assure him that she does not hate him for this, Skye runs her fingers over the hand that's holding on to her, she realizes it's his left hand. Because the cool metal of his wedding ring glides under her finger tips and she stops breathing for a moment. Has he been wearing it all this time? How did she not notice it before? The day she put it on him flashes through her mind, how happy he looked like he finally belonged somewhere.

　

''Go to hell Garrett''. Is all she says to which he just rolls his eyes. Skye doesn't even blink before Ward is shoving her out of the way again, taking the blow John delivers without flinching. It happens again and again and again, each time Skye tries to intervine but Ward shoves her away. She's begging John to stop tears streaming down her face when Grant finally falls to the ground and John doesn't relent, just keeps hitting him.

　

Eventually a few agents come in to restrain her, she can do nothing but helplessly watch as Ward just lays there and takes it. Does he think he deserves it? Is he using himself as a distraction so Skye isn't tortured yet? It feels like it goes on for hours, John is sweating when he's finally done. His knuckles spattered with blood, Ward hasn't made a sound. Just lays there.

　

''Next time I do the same to her''. Is all Garrett says to Ward before leaving the room, the agents release Skye and follow him out. Skye runs over to her husband, bends down and touches his shoulder. His face doesn't look too bad, just a bloody nose, his lips too, his cheek has been split open. ''Oh, Grant''. He's got one arm wrapped around his waist, she can only assume a rib or two has been broken since he won't let her look at it.

　

Whiskey eyes look into hers and she starts crying, sits down with him and pulls his head into her lap. He didn't deserve this.

''I'm so sorry Skye, I'm sorry''.

She shushes him, kisses the top of his head before resting her forehead against it. She isn't sure how long they stay like that, she's running her hands through his hair before he starts to stand up.

　

''Ward what the hell are you doing?''

　

Ignoring her and the help she offers, he stands, hiding every ripple of pain he must be feeling. Standing up now he kisses her forehead and walks out of the room, locking it back. What the hell just happened?

　

His blood has dried on her hands, there's no sink to scrub it off. She wipes as much as she can on her clothes. Skye has sat on the floor and cried for she doesn't know how long, but her eyes are puffy and heavy. How could Ward just stand there and take that? Why would he simply just let John beat him? Ward didn't deserve that at all. Skye has never hated another human being more than she hates John Garrett.

　

If Coulson or May doesn't kill him, she's going to do. Or maybe Shield will lock him in Vault D and torture him to death. She's thinking of how utterly broken Ward looked when she was holding him, when the door opens again. It's Grant, his cuts and bruises haven't been cleaned, in fact it looks as if he's acquired more since he left her. He has a gun in one hand and is holding out his free hand to her.

　

''Do you trust me?'' It's a simple question. But her answer means the world to both of them, it's a test. She gets up and places her hand in his, an alarm starts going off but she doesn't care. Before he can slip back into mission mode, or whatever he's doing, Skye hugs him. Lightly, keeping in mind his injuries. ''Are you okay?'' She whispers against his shirt, he smells like gun powder and smoke, a small hint of his cologne shines through.

　

''I will be''. He responds, kissing the top of her head. They leave the room he's keeping a tight grip on her hand as they walk the halls of this safe house, there are bodies littering each hallway they pass. ''Ward what did you do?'' They pass what she assumes is a built in lab maybe in the garage, it's on fire the smoke filling up fast. ''John and Raina were going to hurt you Skye, I wasn't going to let that happen''.

　

She squeezes his fingers as they make their way through the house. ''Where's Kebo?''

''Getting an escape vehicle for you two''. They reach the front door when Skye's stomach drops.

''Wait, us two? Grant you're coming with us''.

''I can't''.

''You can and you will. Please tell me you're not planning on staying with that monster?''

''I have to get you out of here Skye, you need to go''.

''Not without you''.

　

He ushers her outside before spinning around, two Hydra agents were about to open fire but Grant is quicker. Skye is about to yell at him for being an idiot when hands grab her from behind. She gives a startled gasp and then there's a gun pressed to her temple, when Ward turns around his entire face falls. Goes pale, she doesn't have to look at the person holding her at gun point to know it's John.

　

''You son of a bitch. I gave you everything and this is how you repay me? Betraying me for your whore of a wife?''

''Don't talk about her like that John''.

''Or what? You'll shoot me?''

No one is as surprised as John when Ward lifts his gun, his aim straight and true for the space between Garrett's eyes. ''If I have to''.

''You won't do it. You're weak, you don't have it in you''.

Skye watches as Ward begins to shut down, his face stripped of every emotion.

''Let her go John''.

The gun bites harder into her skin, she tries to struggle out of his hold but it's no use.

''Let her go''.

''If your finger even touches that trigger boy, she's dead''.

Ward is quicker, they all know it.

''Just let her go, we can pretend this never happened okay? We can find a different way into Shield. Skye doesn't have to be apart of this''.

''God Grant you never learn, she's a weakness! And what do we do to those?''

Skye holds her breath, she knows someone is going to die here right now.

She feels Garrett's finger move to squeeze the trigger.

Ward's does the same as he says, ''we eliminate them''.

Skye hears Kebo yell out, ''oh shit''.

　

The sound of a shot rings out. Then nothing else.

　

 


	23. Boy Back Home In Michigan

Okay I have a question for you guys.

 

Would anyone be interested in reading another Framework fic? Sort of a prequel to the other story I’m currently working on, “Looking At My History I’m Bad At Love”.

 

It can be read as a stand alone you won’t have to read that fic beforehand or after to understand it. 

 

It’ll be how Daisy & Ward met, became partners, their missions together how they fell in love, deal with the fact that she is indeed married. It will last all the way up until Skye comes into the picture.

 

What’s different is this fic will follow the show’s story line, not my fic, where Avengers Universe Skye comes into the party.

 

Anyway please let me know your thoughts in the comments! Are you guys just sick & tired of my stories? I’d love the feedback! 

 

Thank you! 

 

 


	24. Lost & Insecure You Found Me Lying on the Floor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happened after Garrett could either bring Skye and Ward together, or rip them further apart.

 

Skye has seen Ward at his worst, has seen him get so pissed off at the world that he splits his knuckles open from hitting a punching bag with all he's got. She's seen him with the kind of sadness that leaves bruises both emotionally and physically, like when he would cry in those empty bedrooms of their house thinking she couldn't see. She's witnessed him falling apart over a mission when he couldn't save everyone.

　

She's seen him at his best and everything in between.

　

But not like this. Never like this.

　

Broken.

　

''Skye there was nothing you could have done''.

''Garrett was too close, Ward had to of known what he was getting himself into''.

''He had to know it was a risk, standing up to John like that''.

''He was protecting you, I can't fault him for that''.

　

Skye closes her eyes, ignores all the voices around her. Feels tears well in her eyes then fall, a comforting hand on her shoulder but she doesn't care enough to look at who it belongs too. Maybe Mack, the fingers are big as they spread over her shirt. It's over. It's all finally over, all the stress of Garrett and Ward these long months have finally come to an end. She never has to worry about it anymore, Shield can breathe a little easier now.

　

Those thoughts give her no comfort though. Because even after everything she can no longer lie to herself. She still loves Grant. She's always been in love with him and even though he hurt her, she can't hate him for it anymore. Maybe that old saying is right, that time heals all wounds. Forgivness is another thing entirely, but for now understanding Ward even a little, seems to help. To make her think it might all be okay in the future.

　

It hits her then in the middle of the medical wing of the Playground, as she's crossing the threshold of a private room, she's alive. Garrett would have killed her if it wasn't for Grant, she's breathing because of him. Again. He called Coulson and told him where Garrett's safe house was, that's how they found Skye. She still can't believe it all ended like that, looking down at Grant this time he was the one bleeding out and she was begging him to stay.

　

Skye takes a deep breath and pushes open the door, the smell of bleach and beeping machines greet her. There lying in the sterile white hospital bed with an IV in his arm, is Ward. He was shot twice, once by Garrett, that bullet lodged deep in his shoulder. The other grazed his side, that one was by some random Hydra agent no one saw coming. On top of Grant's other injuries becauase of what Garrett did to him, he passed out from the pain.

　

It took begging and crying for Simmons to even think about helping Ward once they reached the Playground. Coulson didin't even want to bring Ward on the quin jet, just expected Skye to leave him to die all alone on the ground. But one threat from Kebo and Skye practically on her knees asking for him to help, he caved. So here they are. She has dried blood on her hands but she can't tell if it's hers or Ward's.

　

''How is he?'' She asks one of the doctors as she sits at Ward's bedside.

The woman gives her a comforting smile, ''he'll be fine. Just let him rest''.

　

But he won't be fine when he wakes up, not for a while anyway, she thinks. Because Garrett is dead. How is Ward supposed to live with that? Skye scoots the plastic chair as far up as it will go and takes his hand, normally so warm in hers, it's cold. WIth the intention of warming it up she takes it with both hands and rubs circles on the back of his palm, kisses his knuckles simply because she can, because she's grateful, because she doesn't hate him.

　

Because he's an idiot and risked his life for her, again.

　

He looks so peaceful right now, eyes closed, chest rising and falling at a steady rhythm. Skye doesn't want to shatter that, how young and innocent he looks, even under these pale florescent lights. She doesn't want to be the one to tell him that his entire world for the last almost twenty years, is gone. While she hated Garrett more than she's ever hated anyone, she gets what he meant to Ward. John was the only family he had.

　

You can't really compare the team to Garrett, but Skye wouldn't know what to do with herself if one of them died. She wouldn't know how to go on.

　

''You going to tell him when he wakes up or should I?'' Kebo asks, he hasn't left Ward's side since he was shot.

''I don't know''.

''You might want to figure it out''.

''That's helpful''.

''He's going to freak out''.

''Of course he is''.

''Would you tell him the truth?''

She gives Kebo a funny look, ''of course. Why do you think otherwise?''

''Just wondering, he deserves the truth''.

''I wasn't going to lie to him''.

''Good, because he deserves to know it was Coulson who killed Garrett''.

''I agree''.

　

It all happened very fast. One moment it was just Ward and John facing off, then Garrett was on the ground, but he was still quick enough to get that shot into Grant just before he died. When Skye turned around Coulson was standing there in a bullet proof vest, his gun raised. Then Ward went down, did he see John fall? What was the last thing he thought about? How is he going to react when he wakes?

　

Will he hate Shield for this? Try to kill Coulson for revenge? She doesn't know. Skye plays with the wedding band on his finger, suddenly missing her own. Could that be possible again for them? Or has there been too much damage, too much bad blood? Have they hurt each other beyond repair? Is she thinking this way because of all that's happened over the past couple days? Hell, the past few weeks?

　

Will she wake up tomorrow morning and be bitter on the subject of her husband all over again?

　

''You know he never took that off. Surprised you didn't notice it before''. Kebo mutters, nodding to Ward's wedding ring.

''Yeah me too''.

　

Grant begins to stir and Skye keeps ahold of his hands, she's nervous. Not for herself but for Ward, she doesn't want him to suffer over this. But he will, he loved John and now he's dead. His eyes don't open his breathing doesn't change nothing about Ward deems that he's awake, but Skye can tell, so can Kebo.

　

''It's alright boss, you're safe. Skye is too, we're fine. No one is going to hurt you''.

Brown eyes flutter open and Skye makes sure she's the first thing he sees, hoping to calm him.

''Grant? Are you in pain?''

He looks confused and out of place at first, side effect of the drugs in his system, it takes a minute for him to grasp his bearings. And then his face slips back into that mask he's so fond of. Skye wonders if he notices he does it, or if it's just so apart of him now he can't stop it.

　

''Skye''. Grant breathes, ''are you okay?''

She stands so she's leaning over him, gathers up their hands and presses them into her chest. Right over her heart so he can feel that she is.

''I'm fine. Ward you were shot, twice. We had to bring you to the Playground to recover but the doctors promise you're going to be just fine''. That's not what he cares about, they both know it.

''You're not hurt?'' He asks, his voice hoarse.

''No I'm alright''.

　

And then it all comes back. Skye can see it, the way everything floats to the surface on Ward's face. The stand off between himself and John, how Skye was in the middle and almost died. She can't actually tell if Ward is upset or not, nothing about him gives anything away.

''Where is John?''

Skye looks over to Kebo, Ward doesn't miss it. The silence in the room gives him the answer.

''He's dead, isn't he?''

With tears in her eyes Skye nods, places her hand on his chest, ''yes he is''.

Nothing. No expression, a smooth blank look on his cheeks.

''Ward? Are you, are you okay?''

And then the panic sets in, the guilt. ''I killed him''.

Ward says his tone sounds strange, hollow in a way.

''No Grant''-

　

Skye has never seen Ward have a panic attack before, so it takes her by complete surprise when he suddenly starts hyperventilating. She wonder for half a second how often he's had these, was it a common thing over the years? If so how did she miss it? Kebo it seems has experience with Ward's anxiety because he carefully braces both hands against the other man's shoulders and tells him he's going to be alright.

　

To breathe in and out slowly, match the breathing patterns to his own. It takes five minutes for Ward to fully calm down and Skye feels like he didn't want her to see that, that side of him. She wants to tell him it's nothing to be ashamed of that she's had a few panic attacks herself, but the words die and tears fill her eyes when he looks at her. Her heart breaks at what she sees on his face, he looks so lost. And afraid, vulnerable.

　

Like he has no place in the world.

　

''Grant, Garrett is dead but you didn't kill him. Coulson did, he was going to kill Skye, Phil didn't really have a choice''. Kebo tells him, Ward shows no reaction. Just pins his gaze on Skye, who's hands are still wrapped around his own.

''None of this was your fault Ward''. Skye comments, nothing shifts in his expression.

She looks over to Kebo for help, and the other man looks just as sad as Ward does. ''Boss what do you need? Just bloody say something''.

But he doesn't. And Ward's silence lasts for days.

　

Skye doesn't leave his bedside unless to shower or use the bathroom, even doing that causes a panic so deep inside her she does them as quickly as humanly possible. She's scared Ward is going to do something to himself, or Shield will lock him up in the basement cell, Vault D. She hasn't forgotten Coulson's hatred of her husband, she doesn't trust anyone at the Playground right now where Grant is concerned.

　

Ward just lays in bed and stares at the ceiling, sometimes he'll watch Skye when she isn't looking. But he still says nothing and it makes her unsettled. Skye wishes he'd scream or cry or do something anything other than this. She's got his hands her hers once more, perched on his bed now, Kebo is sitting on the opposite side in a lime green chair. He has a trashy magazine in one hand, beer in the other. He's acting like he isn't afraid for Ward, but he is.

　

Grant's injuries are healing nicely and according to the doctor on call he should be able to be released in a day or two. Skye knows there's no way in hell Shield is going to let Ward go, he has two options. Death or being locked up for who knows how long in Vault D. Skye has always wanted Ward to pay for his crimes, so maybe a few months in the basement is what he deserves.

　

While she loves him still with everything she has, he can't just be let off the hook for everything he's done. She'd rather have him safe at the Playground than dead, a world without her husband in it, isn't one she wants to live in. Skye could laugh at the turn of events, six months ago she would never want to be in the same room as Grant. Now she crawls into his hospital bed at night and tries to help him sleep, her hands never leaving his.

　

For the first time she wonders if they could really have a second chance, would she give him one? Could they make it work if he's ever allowed out of prison? Would he even want to after this? He's still not talking, at least he's eating, but Skye sees the sadness that weighs him down. Sleeping for Ward has been rare these days but when he does drift off he says John's name, cries when he dreams.

　

Kebo and Skye try to soothe him to hold him when he's having another panic attack, but they aren't sure if it's helping or not. The doctors have attempted to prescribe medication for the bad dreams, the attacks, but Ward always shakes his head at that. Skye is starting to fall asleep sitting up, so she does something out of habit. Lays down next to Grant curls her legs with his under the blanket, lays her head on the uninjured part of his shoulder.

　

Taking their joined hands and resting them against her stomach. There's a camera in the corner of the room that Skye has long stopped caring about, let the team think whatever they want, right now she doesn't care. Grant is at his worst and she's not leaving him, not again.

　

''I'm sorry''. Skye jumps up in her half asleep state, turning around to see Ward staring at her. ''What? Did you say something?''

The room is dark she can barely make out the brown in his eyes, but his palm is sweaty against hers. It's day six of him being in the hospital wing of the Playground.

''For everything, for lying to you. I am so sorry Skye''. ''We don't have to talk about that''.

''But I need you to know that I am, baby I am so sorry for hurting you, for ruining us''.

Skye feels salt water on her lips but can't feel the sensation of crying, she just lays back down next to Ward and starts running her free hand through his hair.

''I know you are''. ''I thought I could keep it all together, that even if Hydra came out of the shadows I'd still be able to be with you''.

''Ward, it wasn't just you that ruined us''. For the first time real emotion flashes across his face, surprise, she thinks. ''Skye you don't have to''-

''I should have tried to understand Ward, everything that happened to you. Our dying marriage wasn't all your fault, I didn't try to save it either''.

Skye takes a deep breath and plays with his wedding ring, this deep forgotten sorrow and guilt entering her. ''Can you ever forgive me?'' She asks Ward, who looks like he's going to cry himself.

''What?'' ''I was awful to you Grant, and you didn't really deserve that''. ''Skye''- ''Look I know it's unfair of me to ask for your forgiveness when I don't think I'll ever able to do the same for you but''- ''I forgive you Skye''.

　

It sort of hits her all at once, her and Ward's life together is dead and gone never to return again. She was shot and nearly died because of Garrett, she lost Ward because of him, and now he's dead and Grant doesn't know how to function properly. All the children forever gone to them too, those flowers in the backyard she will never see again swaying the wind. Skye turns and sobs into Ward's neck.

　

She's expecting him to do nothing but instead he wraps both arms around her, not caring about his own injuries. Skye can't hear him over the emotions tearing out of her chest but he's crying too, buries his face in her hair. Kebo who has pretended to be asleep this whole time stretches his arm and places it on Ward's shoulder. Squeezes gently, his other hand cupping the silver flask always full of alcohol.

　

Skye isn't sure how long she cries for, just that when she's done her face is numb eyes puffy, and her whole body hurts. She untangles herself from Grant who is stroking her hair. A distant look in his eyes. He frowns when her gaze meets his, she thinks his fingers attempt to caress her cheek but he stops himself. Hand suspended in midair. Skye wordlessly takes his wrist and drags until his fingers are resting against her skin.

　

''I didn't mean it you know, when I said I was glad we never had kids''. Skye tells him, her voice soft. ''I wanted to hurt you but that wasn't the way''. Ward just continues to stare at her hand on her cheek, one running through her hair.

''Maybe it just wasn't meant to be. Think of what our baby's life would be right now, his father gone. Living in an underground base on the run, that's not the life I'd want him to have, or you''.

Skye doesn't know where this sudden desire to talk came from but she's not going to stop it.

''You would have made a wonderful father Grant''. He looks like he's going to cry again but with a clear to his throat, it vanishes.

''You'd of been the perfect mother Skye, there's no one else I would have wanted to raise my children''.

He wipes a stray tear from her eye and gives a sad smile, she returns it, her fingers clutching his wrist again. Ward's expression turns from sorrow to anger, his eyes swimming in fury.

''What? Are you okay?'' His mood swing is making her nervous. ''I never should have gotten that serum for John''.

 

Oh. Skye still may be upset about that but she understands why he did it. He was trying to save the only father figure he'd ever known, Garrett brain washed him into thinking of only that for all of his adult life. In the end what happened with John Garrett wasn't completely Ward's fault. Skye tells him this and Ward starts shaking his head, claiming he wasn't good enough not for her not for John. He failed them.

　

It takes an hour to both Skye and Kebo to talk Ward down, to make that guilt eating away in the pit of his stomach to lessen just a tad. Ward looks to Skye and apologizes for putting her life at risk just to save John, that she'll never know how sorry he is. Skye just nods and holds his hand, not sure what to say. She isn't in a place where she can forgive Ward but she understands to an extent, and that's a bridge she never thought she'd cross.

　

Skye feels this weight has been lifted off her shoulders as she and Ward continue to talk. When was the last time they did this? Just laid next to each other and had a conversation? She honestly can't remember. Putting all the bad memories aside, Skye realizes she's missed this. Her best friend, just talking to Ward about everything and nothing. She's missed him more than she knew, if he notices her holding onto him a little tighter he doesn't comment.

　

Eventually though there's one elephant in the room and Skye is hesitant to discuss it. Ward always on the same wave length runs a hand down her arm. ''We don't have to talk about it''.

''Do you regret it? What happened that night?'' The night they slept together after she thought he was dead.

Ward looks at her like she's grown a second head, ''no''. He assumes she does, didn't she say as much?

But taking him by surprise Skye shakes her head, ''me either. I'm sorry for making you think I did''.

　

Eventually they doze off once more, not waking up again until the late hours of the morning. It's day eight that Ward's been in the hospital and Skye can tell he's getting antsy. She wonders what he's going to do if Coulson insists on locking him up, will he try to escape or go willingly? Or is Grant thinking the same thing she is? That prison is not an option, he's going to be executed? The thought makes Skye nauseous and grab onto his hand.

　

''You need to shower and eat something''. Mack tells Skye as he enters the room, hands her a plate stacked with potato chips and a sandwich. ''I'm good''.

All three men in the room roll their eyes and Skye scowls. ''Fine''. Mack stands at the foot of Ward's bed, makes sure Skye finishes all the food on the plate.

''You need anything Ward?'' Grant isn't used to any Shield agent showing kindness towards him so he doesn't respond right away. ''No, I'm fine''.

Skye takes an offered sip from Kebo's flask before going off to take a shower. ''I'll be right back''. She tells Ward, squeezing his hands.

He watches her until she's out of sight and sighs, causing Mack to look over at him. ''You're still in love with her''. Instead of saying yes Ward has something else to talk to Mack about.

''Take care of her''. Is all he says, causing both Kebo and Mack to cock their heads to the side.

''You're not planning to break out of here, are you?'' Mack asks, Kebo stands at this gun at the hip ready to use if need be.

''No. But I have a feeling I won't be seeing my wife again for a long time''. Kebo is about to ask why, if the drugs they have Ward on are making him loopy, when Phil Coulson walks into the room.

''Agent McKenzie I need a moment alone with Ward''. ''Yes sir''.

Coulson looks over to the man in question with a deep hatred on his face, the kind that if looks could kill, Ward's heart would have stopped beating by now.

''Let me guess, you're here to throw me in a prison cell. Can't say I don't agree with you''.

''Actually no, I have something better planned for you Ward''. Kebo stands over Grant, hand on his gun.

''If you think I'm going let you''- If Ward could feel anything he would have never let Coulson pull an ICER out and shoot Kebo with it.

But Grant feels nothing but emptiness, this dark numbness dragging him down like stones on his chest. So he watches Kebo fall to the ground and knows that Coulson isn't going to be merciful.

''You know I thought long and hard about what to do with you Ward, and locking you up in the basement just isn't enough. So something better came along just this morning actually''.

Coulson puts the ICER away, locks his hands behind his back. For the rest of his life Ward will remember this moment, remember the fear of what's about to be said clawing at his throat.

''Your brother has been asking about you, he's still wanting to bring Hydra agents to justice. You will be transported into Senator Christian Ward's care within the hour. After that, I don't give a damn what he does to you''.

　

Grant feels nothing at all.

 


	25. I Don't Ever Think I Can Ever Learn How to Love You Right

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Skye finds out about Coulson's plan for Ward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to warn you, I made myself sad writing this. 
> 
>  
> 
> Enjoy!

 

Skye dresses quickly her hair soaking through the shirt she's wearing, small puddles of water from her skin are forming on the floor but she doesn't care. The hot shower didn't soothe her sore muscles or make her feel any better about the current situation. Throwing the dirty clothes and towel into the small gray hamper in the corner of the room she races out the door, grabbing her phone in the process.

　

Kebo staying with Ward gives her some reassurance but she can't stop worrying about him. Coulson could do anything he wanted, something tells Skye Grant wouldn't care, that he would let him. Ever since Garrett died Skye believes Ward is depressed, rightfully so, that man was his whole world and now he's gone. Grant probably feels as if he has no place in the world without John. Skye hates Garrett more now than she did before.

　

He made it so Ward wouldn't know what to do or how to function without orders, so the Specialist would always be loyal and come back to him. Now that he's dead Skye fear Grant will want to join him, just by the way he's been acting. Occasionaly refusing food, not speaking except for a few hours before. Her head is still reeling from that short sleepy conversation, that really happened didn't it? It wasn't a dream?

　

Skye can't help but feel a little lighter, less guilty where Ward is concerned. She said awful things to him, treated him like crap, never tried to understand him until nearly a year later after everything happened. While she was angry, he deserved better. She's passing the kitchen when May calls her name. Turning back around a little annoyed, she walks through the door to find May, Fitz and Jemma sitting at the kitchen table.

　

She wants to ask what's up, if this is going to take a long time because she has to get back to Ward. Then she remembers that she's the only one at Shield who doesn't hate him with a burning passion, so she keeps her mouth shut. The guilt though still floods her when Fitz and Simmons meet her eyes, Fitz's hands are shaking despite Jemma's fingers tangled with his own. Skye can't tell what May is feeling about all this, her face is blank and impassive as always.

　

''Everything okay?''

''Sit down''. May commands, her tone leaving no room for arguing.

Skye obeys noticing how Jemma shifts away from her.

''What's going on between you and Ward?'' May asks, crossing her arms.

''Excuse me?''

''Skye we can all see it, how kind you're being to him''. Jemma responds, Skye glances over to her.

''He was my husband and right now he's in pain. The man he considered his father just died, of course I'm being kind to him''. ''Why do you care? He's a murderer, he deserves whatever the hell is coming to him''.

Skye bites her lip, this sudden protectiveness for Grant coming over her.

''Look May there's nothing going on, okay? And even if there was it would be none of your business. I just feel bad for him that's all''. Fitz glares at her, ''you feel bad for Ward? After what he's done, after what he did to me?''

''Fitz''-

''Grant Ward is a serial killer and a psychopath, he doesn't deserve your sypmathy and he sure as hell doesn't deserve you''. May comments causing Skye to cross her arms as well.

''What is this? Are you punishing me for talking to me husband after his father figure died? Ward is a mess, I just want to help him''.

It was the wrong thing to say, Skye realizes that when Simmons recoils from her chair like she's been slapped.

''Help him? He's probably killed hundreds of people Skye! He dropped Fitz and I into the ocean! He betrayed all of us or did you forget about that?'' ''Of course I didn't''-

''Are you still in love with him?'' Fitz asks his voice shaking. Skye nearly jumps out of her chair, suddenly feeling flustered. ''What? No''.

''Skye it made sense a few months ago, your lingering feelings for him, but now well now you need to let him go. He's a toxic human being, no good for anybody''.

''I am not having this conversation with any of you''.

Skye gets out of the chair only to be halted in her steps by May's stare. ''You tried calling him a few times right after you were shot, didn't you?''

Skye runs a hand through her hair, suddenly feeling like the team is becoming her enemy, her judges, and Ward is the only one she can trust. She shakes that off though, these people are her family and they're just worried for her right now, don't want Ward to hurt her again.

''Yeah''. Skye wanted to lie but couldn't bring herself to do it, what would be the point?

''Coulson told me to block every single call coming in and out of the Playground''. Fitz speaks up, Skye looks over her shoulder at him, ''why?''

''In case Ward tried to contact you, he couldn't''. It all clicks into place right then and there, tears fill her eyes.

''So Ward would try to find me, Coulson was setting up a trap for him''.

''It didn't work, we had no idea Garrett was going to kidnap you. We thought Ward would come after you soon enough and we'd have a shot at him then''. May admits. Skye isn't surprised, Shield will never forgive Ward.

''Coulson had no right to do that''. She tells May who shrugs, ''Ward is a wanted man, he had every right and you know it''. ''So what am I supposed to do May? Just let Coulson torture him to death?'' ''You are a Shield agent, you'll do whatever your Director tells you to''.

Skye closes her eyes, ''what if we lock Ward up in the basement downstairs?'' Her question is met with silence for so long Skye nearly takes it back but then Simmons replies, ''Vault D? What good would that do?''

''He doesn't deserve to die for this Simmons! God. Maybe if we put him in a place to reflect on his actions and get him in therapy he could''- ''Coulson won't go for that''. Fitz says.

''Ward was never loyal to Hydra, okay? He shouldn't even be labeled a traitor, he just joined Hydra to save John Garrett''. ''Skye''- She waves her hand to silence Jemma.

''Ward has never been loyal to Hydra, never will be. I didn't understand that before but I do now''. It's May who stops Skye with a glare so sharp it has her reeling. ''Is that really what you believe? Skye Ward is a master manipulator''-

''He was brain washed May, by Garrett''.

''Skye he's been playing you. You were the easiest target, you have a deep emotional bond he used that to get to you and it worked. He doesn't care about anyone but himself''. Skye thinks back to when Grant took a bullet for her without even blinking, how much he loves Kebo and can't agree with May.

'''He's not a monster May''. The Calvary shakes her head, ''yes he is''. ''That's why he's being treated like one''. Fitz says, causing Skye to freeze. ''What?''

　

May glares at Fitz almost as if he spilled a secret Skye wasn't supppsed to know about. The look on Fitz's face has Skye freezing in fear. She left Ward alone for only a few minutes and Kebo is with him, he won't let anything happen. Unless Coulson brings an army of Shield agents, Ward and Kebo wouldn't be able to take all of them on by themselves. Is Coulson planning something? Was this conversation with May to distract her?

　

She's been arguing with her team this whole time and Ward could be dead. ''What the hell are you talking about?'' Skye doesn't recognize her own voice, it's sharp and cold full of fear. ''No matter how you feel about Ward, he has to pay for everything he's done''. Is the only answer May offers and it has Skye running out of the room.

　

She has no idea what she's going to find in the medical wing, Ward lying dead in his hospital bed? Coulson's gun trained on his face? Skye doesn't make it all the way down the hall before someone grabs her arm. Turning sharply to find Trip, his face so sad it makes tears form in her eyes. ''You can't be down here Skye''. ''Why not?''

　

Bobbi and Hunter are behind him trying to coax her into going somewhere else, anywhere else and she knows something terrible is happening, or it already did. Skye never thought she'd feel panic or fear when Ward was concerned, that those days of worrying if he was dead or alive were long gone. But this iron cold fear grips at her chest it's so hard to breathe she's shaking, he can't be dead. He doesn't deserve to die, she can't live in a world without him.

　

Skye doesn't even have time to reflect on how drastically things have changed between she and Ward, a few months ago she couldn't even think about him without wanting to shoot something. Now here she is terrified that her mess of a husband is not breathing somewhere and she never got to say goodybe. Coulson appears out of the medical wing his face giving nothing away, a trail of guards behind him.

　

The dark head of hair towers over everything else. Ward is tall, she couldn't miss him amoungst the sea of Shield agents surrounding he and Coulson. There have to be at least twenty five men armed to the teeth walking beside Ward, Skye knows his hands and feet have to be bound. At first there's this relief that comes, he's alive he's unharmed. But the brief look of panic in his eyes before he wipes it clean, has her shaking again.

　

Coulson sees Skye and casts a glare at their fellow Shield agents, ''I thought I told you to keep her out of here''. ''We tried sir''.

''Coulson what the hell are you doing? Ward is hurt he still needs medical attention''. Skye tries to take a step forward but Trip still has her arm, she shouts to get off her, no one sees Ward tense up.

'You're transporting him to a high security prison aren't you? Somewhere he'll never get out, he'll be in a cell for the rest of his life''. Skye asks Coulson, trying to make eye contact with Grant but he won't look at her.

Silence is the only thing that greets Skye, causing her stomach to sink. ''Coulson please tell me that's what you're doing''. Still Phil does not reply.

Flashes of Ward smiling at her in their kitchen, driving late at night the lights of the highway passing across his face. Waking up in the morning to his stubble on her skin, his loud laugh that always made her smile, pass through Skye's mind.

　

''Coulson please tell me you're not executing him''. She gets close enough to see that Ward has changed from the pale gray hospital gown, to light green prison scrubs. He still won't meet her eyes and she wants to yell at him for it. That familiar all consuming fear enters her lungs making it hard to breathe, it must show on her face because Coulson puts a hand on her shoulder. What once would be a comfort, now feels like posion.

　

''His brother is asking for him, we're transporting Grant into Christian Ward's care''. Ice down her back as the memory of a very terrified Ward enters her mind. It was after they got in engaged and Skye asked about his family, she knew they were in politics and Ward was born with a silver spoon, she had no idea the monsters that hid behind all that money and power. He told her with trembling words exactly who his parents and Chrisitian were.

　

Afterwards she remembered Ward looking at her like he expected her to run away screaming. But she just held him, told him what a good man he was and kissed him. She's seen Ward shaken up before, sad, angry, but when she looks at him now there's something new in his eyes. Something she hasn't seen before, pure raw fear. It bleeds all over his perfect face spilling into his cheeks like ink. Is he letting her see this on purpose? Or is it just for show?

　

Hating that she's even questioning it, she rips herself out of Coulson's grip. Shoves her way through the armed guards to Ward's side. He's shaking and her heart breaks for him. ''Coulson you can't do that''. Grant looks down at her not saying anything barely breathing, before his face goes blank, slack. Where the hell is Kebo? Why isn't he here cursing Coulson and Shield, pointing a gun at all these people holding Ward?

　

Skye isn't aware her hands are atop of Ward's cuffed ones until she feels his rough skin against her own, his eyes widen just a fraction but then it's gone. ''It's done Skye, it's what he deserves''. There's malice in Phil's voice that ignites something in Skye. Anger fills her blood and Ward must sense it because he nudges her foot with his and shakes his head. But Skye doesn't listen, she keeps her hands tangled with his and shifts her stance.

　

Instead of standing beside Ward she's now in front of him, protecting him from any outside forces. Ward tries to move her but Skye does not budge, not an inch. Coulson and the team notice this and all give her disappointed glares at once. But she doesn't care she doesn't see them, all she can picture is Grant as a child tortured and bullied by his parents and brother. Beaten alone and scared, tears fall down her face hot and fast.

　

''Coulson you don't understand, Christian is not a good person''.

''Neither is his little brother''.

''Will you get over your hatred for Grant for just one second? Christian is going to kill him! You can't do this. Please, just put Ward in Vault D, get him a therapist someone who can help. If you ship him off to his brother you're signing Grant's death sentence''.

Phil gives her a sad look, not for Ward, but for his poor wife who just can't seem to let him go, he thinks.

''Ward signed his own death sentence the minute he betrayed Shield''.

　

Frustration weighs her legs down Skye wants to punch her boss to knock some sense into him, say anything do anything to change his mind. But she can see it in his eyes that this decision was made and there's nothing she can do to change it. Skye has no power here, and Ward won't fight it. Skye knows the thoughts that are currently running through his brain.

　

That he deserves this, John is dead and his life has no meaning. His wife does not love him, it was long overdue seeing his brother again. Skye squeezes his knuckles trying to assure him, but can't tell if it worked. ''You can't do this Coulson, please don't''.

Sympathy plays at his features, every Shield agent present gives her their best ''condolence'' looks and it makes Skye want to punch something.

''If you do this you're killing him''. She tells Phil who shrugs it off like Ward is a bug under his shoe and not a living breathing human being.

''It's done Skye, and I highly doubt Senator Ward would kill his little brother. I'm sure Ward will be given a fair trial''.

Skye scoffs, ''he's as good as dead and you know it, don't lie to me just to make you sleep better at night for this decision''. Phil's mouth draws into a hard line but he does not respond.

　

Knowing she won't get anywhere with Coulson she turns her rage on Ward, who is has been stone silent this entire time not even trying to defend himself. Her tone is desperate, pleading when she says, ''Say something''. He just gives her a dead stare that causes her to put her hands on his chest. Maybe it's to convince him to stay to fight, maybe it's to feel his heart under her palm one more time, maybe it's a reminder of everything she once had that's gone now.

　

Ward flinches at her touch but still, remains quiet. The brown eyes she used to wake up to every morning are void of emotion, he's like a shell of Grant Ward. She can't find anything about him familiar, is this who he is without John Garrett? All that left over hurt and pain inside is gone, it doesn't matter. Now fresh iron hot suffering is in it's place at the thought of never seeing him again.

　

This man who has been through so much with her, has seen the worst parts of her and still stayed. He won't get a trail, Christian Ward is going to kill his own brother in the name of justice and there is nothing she can do about it.

''Are you just going to stand there and let them do this to you?'' Ward opens his mouth and then closes it, almost as if he wants to form words but can't. ''I deserve it''. He says eventually, softly, broken.

''No you don't''. Skye is shaking her head digging her fingers into this rough shirt covering his skin. ''I am not a good man Skye''.

Nails push harder into the fabric, enough pressure to puncture and draw blood but still Ward does nothing. ''So you're just going to let them kill you?'' ''If that's what my brother wants. If that's the price I have to pay for everything I've done''.

　

Skye breaks. Can feel herself crack slowly piece by piece like she's a coffee mug on a table and was just knocked over on a hard wood floor. She's not Agent Skye in this moment. She's no one but Grant Ward's wife who has loved him for almost seven years. They have gone through heart break and crying in each other's arms. Sharing joy and tears over two pink lines on a pregnancy test. Seeking comfort in one another when the feeling didn't last.

　

So many memories the awful the ugly the happy the sad, the love made and broken torn down by crazy mentors and own personal pride, race through Skye's mind. Ward smiling, frowning, laughing and crying next to her. The first time she saw him with his smooth cheekbones all those years ago, that shy smile he gave her the first time they kissed. Walking towards him on their wedding day, he looked at her like she was the brightest sun.

　

''You don't mean that Grant''. ''Yes I do''. His voice is so empty.

How is he okay with this? Why isn't he fighting back why is he doing this to her? ''Maybe I deserve to die Skye''.

She's openly sobbing then shoving at his chest slapping him, hands grab her arms but she shoves them away from her. ''What about me? You maybe just fine with dying but what about me when you do? What am I supposed to do when you stop breathing?''

She screams at him tears on her lips she can't feel her body or her hands there's just Grant looking at her with nothing in his face. ''I've been dead to you for a long time Skye''.

She slaps him, making it the second time she's ever struck his face but she can't find it in herself to be angry over it. ''Please don't leave me''.

A brief flicker of something takes over him, his hands suddenly curl into her own, warm now not cold.

''You'll be alright Skye''. Shaking her head salt water heavy in her eyes it's hard to see she replies. ''no I won't. Not without you, please Grant please don't let them take you away from me''. She clutches his hands so hard bordering on painful but neither let go.

　

Skye feels someone at her back, May says they only have a few minutes left to get Ward to the transport van. Grant doesn't move or blink, he's still withdrawn in front of her.

　

There's a voice in her head that whispers this is the last time she will ever see him. The stubble across his cheeks, those eyes she always got lost in, his fingers between her own. She will never hear him say her name again, never feel his lips against her own, they will never get a second chance. Ward will die never knowing that Skye was still waiting for him, and she will spend the rest of her life doing it too.

　

Grant is the love of her life. And she has to say goodbye to him. How do you do that? How do you look at the one you love most in this world and just let them go? How can you stand in front of them knowing they won't ever hold you again, walk next to you, drink coffee early in the morning with you? You will never hear them laugh or see them smile, they will never wake up with you or make breakfast on late Sunday mornings.

　

How is Skye supposed to be okay with that? How is anyone expecting her to just let her husband walk out of here knowing he's going to die? That his brother is an awful man and has always wanted Grant to suffer? She looks at Ward now and doesn't see fear or sadness in his face. He's just empty, like there was a faucet inside him and someone turned the handle until all the water drained from his skin and there was nothing left.

　

Skye throws her arms around his waist, her fingers thrust underneath his shirt to feel his hot skin. Buries her face in his chest her ear to his heart beat, the sound is something she wasn't aware she treasured but does now because it's limited. He still smells the same, same familiar after shave and gun powder. His strong body lined with hers, Skye has never felt safer when she was with him, she wishes he was able to put his strong arms around her.

　

No matter how much she wants to deny it, to believe she can fight this she knows, Ward has accepted his fate. And there is nothing she can do or say to change it. ''I love you''. She tells him crying again, her tears staining the ugly green shirt, fingers like claws into his back like she's able to root him in place, to stay here with her. Ward's body perks up with surprise at that, ''Skye you don't have to''- ''No, shut up Ward.

　

I love you Grant, I never stopped. I've always loved you, I will always be in love with you''. She can't see his face but it falls, falters for just a moment as he lays his cheek against her hair. Skye sobs into his chest until she can't anymore, until hands pull her away from Ward and she lets them. Watches through puffy eyes as May and Trip drag her away. The guards pull out a black bag to cover Grant's face and his eyes are fixed on her.

　

Just before it passes over his lips he breathes her name, just her name. And then nothing at all. He's led away down the hall and disappears from view. Leaving Skye screaming after Coulson to stop this, she's crying on Trip's shoulder but no one listens to her. She's a crumpled mess against Trip, from this day on she will never be the same. Losing who you love changes you, alters you in a way that you won't even recognize the person staring in the mirror back at you.

　

And if Coulson feels guilty for this no one would ever know.

　

What Shield didn't count on however was there was someone else at the Playground who loves Ward, who swore so long ago to save him from anything and everything or die trying. Which is why Skye straightens when she sees a figure flying down the hallway past them, and once she is able to make out it's Kebo, a flicker of hope enters her chest. Kebo will help Grant, Kebo will save him, it's what he's good at.

　

When an alarm sounds a few minutes later causing May and Bobbi to run the direction Coulson went, Skye knows that Kebo either got Ward out or they are both dead. Detaching herself from Trip she sprints to Coulson's office to access the security feed around the Playground. It only takes a few seconds and ah, there it is. The transport van is on fire everything it seems is up in flames it's hard to make out anything.

　

Coulson and May along with other Shield agents are running around trying to find anything in the wreckage, Skye can't see Ward. She starts to panic, surely Kebo isn't that stupid to get them both blown up. But then very carefully with trained eyes, and because it was meant for her to see, there in the corner of the screen, right beside the burning van is Ward. And he winks at the camera, at her, before Kebo's hand is dragging him out of the Playground by the shoulder.

　

''Son of a bitch''. Is all she says but happy tears are trailing down her face and she's smiling, the grief all but vanishing. Ward is nothing if not a survivor, and he does that best. Garrett, life, Shield, taught him well. She will see him again, that she can count on.

　

 

 

*

　

_Eight Months Later_

　

 

The bar is stuffy and packed, old country music is blaring out of a dusty jukebox. Ward looks around the room for an open seat, spots one in the back and walks over. It no longer aches to move his feet or breathe, the overwhelming sorrow at John's passing doesn't hurt so much anymore. He supposes time heals all wounds and while he will forever miss his father figure, Ward is learning who he is without him. How to live without Garrett, without orders.

　

He never believed in therapy, even as a child he used to hear his father rant and rave at his mother how therapists were just people who stuffed with you pills to collect a paycheck. It's a far cry from that actually, for Grant at least. He sees a man named Paul three times a week and it's done wonders for all of Ward's anxiety, guilt, shame and sadness over everything he's ever experienced in life.

　

Taking off the leather jacket and draping it over the booth, Ward rubs away the cold from his hands and looks around. Nothing out of place, nothing to put his senses on high alert, no threat here. Yet. Ward has accpeted that he will probably always be paranoid, on guard, it's just something he can't turn off. A waitress with big blue eyes comes to take his order, a beer and glass of water.

　

He sees her shine with hope as she flirts with him, but it quickly disappears when she catches the glow of his wedding ring beneath the lights. As he begins to sip his beer his thoughts turn to Skye, as they always do. He hasn't seen her since that day at the Playground when Coulson was going to send him off to Christian for a ''trial''. But they all knew it was an execution. If it weren't for Kebo pulling a miracle out of his ass, Ward can honestly say he was going to go through with it.

　

Let Christian find him guilty for his ties to Hydra and put him to death. Most nights Skye's face as she begged him not leave her, haunt his dreams. He's spoken to her a few times over the months, on the phone or in an email. She has been busy with Shield and Ward has taken up jobs as a paid mercenary that causes him to travel all over the world. He misses his wife, the wife who loves him still. That was a shock, to hear her say those words.

　

Grant thought Skye would always hate him, that love was something they'd never have again. That he would be one sided in that relationship, always loving her from afar. He remembers thinking it was nice to hear, somethig to carry with him to his death. But they both should have known Kebo was not about to let that happen. After causing the van to explode and getting him out of there, Kebo yelled at Ward for hours as they escaped.

　

Pouted and moped about Ward's choice for days, calling him an idiot and everything else under the sun for weeks. Grant joked that if he'd known Kebo was going to whine about it this much, he was better off in Christian's hands. It did not go over well. Currently Kebo is in Tokyo watching over one of their tagets, Ward is enjoying the comfortable silence while he's gone. Looking around the bar again all seems well, no threats.

　

A threat does come an hour later though, and Grant doesn't notice until it's entirely too late and he's sitting there unprepared. A dark leather jacket slides into the booth right up next to him, familiar perfume drifts over to him making it hard to focus on anything else. He turns, surprised, as Skye presses as close to him as she can get without sitting in his lap. Fifty different questions speed through his mind at the sight of her.

　

What is she doing here, how did she find him, does she still love him, is this an ambush? But all that melts away when she smiles at him with her big brown eyes. ''Skye''. Her hair is longer like it was when they first met all that time ago, there are subtle changes in her thought that weren't there the last time he saw her. She seems softer, not at all the hard ice cold woman that he used to see.

　

She seems warm and he wants to touch her skin to see if she's warm there too. Her cheeks are flushed as she yanks off the tan gloves protecting her fingers from the snow outside. Grant's heart probably stops beating when he sees the rings on her left hand sparkle. At first he thinks she's moved on with someone else and while he feels all consuming hurt inside, he wants her to be happy. Which is something he can't make her anymore.

　

But after studying them further he sees they are the ones he gave her on their wedding day. Did she find them? But how? Last he heard she had flushed them down a toliet after finding out he was Hydra, he never blamed her for it. Skye noticing his stare, says nothing as she takes his beer and down the rest of it.

　

''Wow Agent Toolbag at work and off the clock''. It takes a second to register what she means and then he's grinning like a fool at her. It was the first thing she ever said to him, that started it all. So long ago, they've come so far since then. Ward had no idea things would turn out the way it did. He wishes he could go back in time to the Grant a year ago and tell him that even though it hurts and seems hopeless, it'll all work out.

　

Skye will come back to you, one way or another.

　

''Thought you threw those out''. He says, nodding to the rings and Skye blushes, actually blushes. When was the last time he saw that?

It's still adorable all the same, he's missed it.

''I did but it wasn't hard to find an exact copy of both if you know the right people''.

''Good, that's good''. He wants to ask what it means for them but doesn't, mostly because the waitress comes by and Ward loses his nerve.

It's been nearly a year since they were together, longer than they've lived life as a married couple. What is Skye getting at? Is she trying to tell him something?

''So there's this man''. She says, turning to look at him. Ward tries not to feel deflated and fails, why is she talking to him about someone else?

What was the point of making a show about the wedding rings? What's she getting at?

''I'm kind of in love with him but he's squirrley about that on account of betraying me a while ago. And I tracked him down to Boston of all places, but now I'm sitting here next to him and have no idea what to say, or how to say it''.

Her hand is suddenly on his thigh and he stops breathing.

God it's like he doesn't remember how to act around her or something.

''So what do you think I should do?'' Skye asks looking at him again her eyes dark, she's pressed so tight against him so close he can feel every inch of her.

Ward finds his voice eventually, has to clear it a few times, ''I think you should kiss me''.

That gets an eyebrow raise but Skye pushes up so her mouth is inches from his, ''you shouldn't kiss another man's wife''.

His hand is cupping the back of her neck, the other threading his fingers through her own when he responds, ''I'm sure I won't mind''.

Then her lips are on his and it's coming home. ''I love you too Skye''. He tells her before kissing her again, her smile against his mouth, her sigh as he deepens the kiss.

　

And for once since everything went to hell after Shield fell, Ward has hope. That even though their lives are messy and definitely not perfect, as long as they have each other it will all work out.

　

Ward has his Skye back and Raina was right, she is all he's ever wanted.

　

 


	26. My Baby's Sweet As Can Be

And that's it!

 

Thank you to everyone who read, left a comment and kudos. I love you guys, thank you for sticking with me on another Skyeward adventure.

 

I have at least three or four more fics that I'm in the process of writing, plus I have to update the Avengers AU and the Framework fic.

 

Also if you read the fic ''If There's A Light At the End It's Just the Sun In Your Eyes'' I promise I have not given up on that one. I've just had AWFUL writer's block and will get back to it as soon as I can.

 

So again thank you for reading! I really enjoyed writing this story and I hoped you all enjoyed reading it!


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